majikstan

[majikstan]

Hello I have here and hope you enjoy these beats from me kneeling on the floor before. Comments and Messages are welcome too :-)

[majikstan]

Hello, here are some beats after I stood up from the chair this morning. Hope you enjoy these beats, if it helps to relax you :-) As always comments are welcome and I accept PM Messages too :-)

[majikstan]

Hello all a new one just recorded this morning, hoping you enjoy, this is of some calm beats while sitting here recorded with my Jabes

[majikstan]

What is dating for me

I have been thinking about writing this for awhile but every-time I thought about writing on this, the words just drained out of my thoughts, but it is something that I do wonder so much.

I know I keep asking this question, that no one has an answer, and stumbles me why don't I have anyone or why I have not experienced any thing remotely considered a date for over 15 years, I wonder will I ever find and have someone again.

It's been 15 years since I had a date with anyone, and the last time a date was even Australian was over 17 years ago. People will complain that it's been a year or 3 since they last had someone and were in a relationship, but try over 15 years, it's been so long I have forgotten what it's like to have someone in my arms to actually go out on a date, I could not even recall what that even felt like.

Sometimes I feel like what if I never get to find another, even when I am not the one being picky, but am picked against in many ways, am I not good enough for anyone? Even to date?

I mean yeah I know there are many overseas that have many times wished they could date me, but how could I have them, I lost my last girlfriend because of greedy government and an unfair immigration processing system, I have no way to afford to bring anyone over.

It's not fair when I hear of others who are able to bring there partners over, or even try multiple times and yet I could not even bring One.

Why is it that local Australian women have no interest in wanting to get to know me, let alone consider to date me and with out all those expensive material expectations that they tend to list, other than accepting a man for what's on the inside?

I have often thought was it maybe that I'm unattractive to a degree, but then I have to remind myself if that were true then why do those overseas including Filipina claim that I were Gwapo (handsome) then, or is it just how Australian women think and so I'm just out out of luck then.

Why do people have to be so picky and have such long lists of expectations, where are those who would wish to just accept me and my character as I am?

For me I ask this, what is a date, what is it like to have a date or go dating, because I could not give you an answer now, as it's been so long, I don't know what it really is anymore...

You know even going through family history and you see how those past generations managed to find someone in only within a year or two, and then marry, of course things were simpler, and many of those expectations today, did not even exist back then. Simpler expectations especially for a caring but hard working man with a beating heart. I am no farmer though, but is that what the majority of Australian women would prefer or someone who can afford to wine and dine?

I need someone but it so many times feels like that won't happen.

I am 47 and approaching 48 in a few months time, never been married ever, single with no one, and "non-tox" (for those who know what that means) but who would want me, when I don't fit any part in these long lists that most over here seem to prefer to carry...

I do envy those who have been able to find someone or even get to marry them, I wish I were not single, but no one wants me at least from what I have found over here in Australia.

I also feel like even if some magic were to happen where someone actually did show interest for me as the way I am, that to me it would feel like it were all just too good to be true, given how long I have last had experienced having any date or anyone truly interested in wanting to know about me, let alone would want to cuddle up and listen to my heart too, that may be too much of a wish-full thinking.

I would love to marry one day, if only someone wanted to love and be with me.

As if it were not already hard to find anyone before the years of 2020, but with what has been happening in the last few years and I am wide awake on whats been going on in the world and am aware of what has been going on, but this just makes it even harder these days, considering the Non-tox, which certain awake people would know what that even means.

[majikstan]

This one is self explanatory and I hope you enjoy this one, Comment's are welcome if you like. I don't normally post these type of recordings on Tumblr though.

[majikstan]

Hello all, I recorded this recording last week, I hope you enjoy this one I had my Sprague connected up to my sound rig this time. I am sorry I cannot do anything about the slight static interference, I have no way to clear that. I hope you enjoy anyway, and please comment if you wish. I know I don't do recordings that often these days, I feel not to many want to listen to mine, these days. I miss the old days.

[majikstan]

Ok this one I first began with Kneeling on the floor for a bit before I then stood up, you can hear how my heart then begins to pound faster and harder before settling down as I stand there. Hope you enjoy these.

[majikstan]

And here is a new one, recorded from around the low of my throat, hope you enjoy this one, includes a few of my breaths, for those that wish to hear my breathing too, Enjoy :-)

[majikstan]

A new one, now recorded very early in the morning before bed, I was just kneeling on the floor when I recorded this one, hope you enjoy :-)

It had been about a month since I last made a recording and since I had heard from a couple of people on here about my last ones, I thought to post some new fresh ones.

[majikstan]

Hello here is another new one from sitting around and with my old Electronic Jabes, hope you enjoy these beats :-)

[majikstan]

Just another new one recorded and this time with my old Electronic Jabes, hope you enjoy this one, I was standing when I recorded this one, imagine if you were just in front of me and were to be stething me there. Hope you enjoy otherwise :-)

[majikstan]

Thank you to everyone who got me to 100 likes!

[majikstan]

Hello all, one of my latest recordings recorded the other day, hope you all enjoy it, it was pounding, in part because it wanted someone to hear and second because I had a drink of my favorite Iced Coffee too. Wishing I were not so alone.

[majikstan]

Hello all, a new file recorded on Valentines day and just a reasonably calm recording, even though feeling alone.

I do hope that you enjoy this latest recording and as usual anyone is welcome to message or contact me if they wish, I always am interested in any new friends too.

What is Valentines to me, really, when I have no one and have had no one in over 14 years. I don't even have a local mate or buddy let alone any partner. I am single and have never been married, but would hope to one day.

I wish I had someone, every year its the same thing, no secret admirers, no one interested in wanting to get to know me or spend time with me, here in Australia, yet I know so many overseas friends, many I have known for many years too, that wish they could meet me or more. but I am not able to sponsor anyone. I have had no one in my arms for 14 years, I am also a cuddler and would hug just about anyone, regardless of which orientation they were as to me a hug is good no matter who as long as they want one too.

Friends can be of any one as long as they truly wish to be a friend. It does not matter from which orientation they may be, just note that I do have certain limits too depending.

I am also a 3D Game developer as well as a Renaissance man so have over 1000 interests, I am also a researcher and historian too and well awake to whats been happening in the world even in the last few years, actually I have been well awake for a very long time and aware of everything going on. And will research anything if it does not sound right.

If I had someone and they wanted to listen, ear-steth or even feel my chest, I certainly would let them have a feel, If I had someone that wanted to be close and wanted to fall asleep listening to my heart, I would love that too, although its not that important to me but it would be nice though. I do at times crave for that experience, I do know a few fellers too overseas that wish they could meet me and steth me, I would let them if there were a chance to meet-up as long as I knew them well enough.

Anyone is welcome to listen if they wish but I have certain applications like Skype, Discord etc where I can share also.

Anyway I do hope that everyone else had a great day and that with my above file, hope you enjoy this recording.

I wish I was not so alone.

[majikstan]

Did we lose another member and friend

I find it strange how another good member and friend has just suddenly disappeared on here last night, I cannot ever locate anything related now, and she had even decided to follow me just a week ago, which I found it strange that it was only in the past week.

I am concerned if something happened to her for her account to suddenly disappear, so I hope shes OK, I know she had another 1 or 2 other pay type sites that she shared videos etc, which of course I could never afford to join, I just hope that everything is Alright and that this was not a take down by someone else, I know she has had bad experiences in the past of ones trying to cause problems.

I have not mentioned the name here.

[majikstan]

Here is just a calm recording while sitting in my chair, recorded at about 2am, hope you like these calm beats :-) If only I had someone ear-steth me. :-)

[majikstan]

I was standing while recording this one, hope you enjoy :-)