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6 Things Nobody Tells You About Miscarriage

1.  How often it happens.  In the first week of pregnancy, a woman has a 75% chance of miscarriage.  This goes down to 30% at 2 weeks, 10% at 3 weeks, and 5% at 7 weeks.  Most women usually do not talk about their miscarriages, so when a woman has a miscarriage, she feels like the outlier.  Early miscarriages often occur because there was something wrong with the embryo (or zygote depending on the week).  

2.  How emotionally painful a miscarriage can be… even at 3 weeks.  Honestly, I panicked when the pregnancy test was positive.  We weren’t trying, and I didn’t think I could get pregnant since I had been having unprotected sex with the same person for 2 years with no history of pregnancy.  We had a 5 year plan and everything, so a baby was not exactly in the plan for this year.  Having said that, there is nothing on this earth that I would not give to be able to carry that tiny clump of cells that I lost.  I do want to be a mom, and it hurt that this chance was taken away. 

3. How lonely it is.  Part of this point is made in the first item on this list.  Women do not talk about miscarriage when it happens to them for many reasons: overwhelming sadness, guilt, anger, and sometimes shame.  Because of this, I felt very alone.  Of course, I knew women who have miscarried including my mom and sister, but my situation was different from theirs.  I wanted to talk to someone who had been through a similar situation. (especially someone who isn’t religious or who wouldn’t place their beliefs in the discussion).  I have yet to find that person. 

 Additionally, my fiance, who is amazing, did not experience this on the same level that I did.  He was also so focused on taking care of me that he neglected himself.  He didn’t process his grief until I was okay enough to function.  He also processed his grief differently, and again, he did not have cells in his body growing and dividing.  His hormones did not change, and he didn’t feel different.  He did not experience this in the same way that I did.   

4.  The blood.  Jesus Christ! I have never bled so much in my life, and I have had 2-month-long heavy periods.  This was unlike any bleeding I have ever had, and the blood clots were ridiculous! I passed rather large blood clots.  

5. That life has to go on like nothing happened.  This was probably one of the most difficult things to deal with.  My doctor called me with test results during a class I was teaching, so I stepped outside of the classroom to hear what she found.  I then had to turn right back around and go teach children like nothing was wrong.  I couldn’t cry in the middle of a lesson, I had to be a teacher.  I had to get up the next day and keep going.  I had to go to work, go grocery shopping, cook, clean, and live like nothing was wrong.  

6.  The reasons why you are so upset are different from what you would think.  I thought I would be sad because I lost something, and I was and still am.  I’m not mourning the loss of a baby because there was no baby.  It was a tiny ball of cells.  I am mourning the loss of my choice, my bodily autonomy.  I am mourning the loss of what could have been.  I feel shame and guilt like this is somehow my fault.  I feel anger because my choice was taken away.  I feel jealousy because my friends and family members are pregnant or had healthy pregnancies.  Other women may feel differently, but this is how I feel.

I want to say to anyone who is reading this and going through a miscarriage, you are not alone.  You can feel your feelings, and you are not selfish for that.  Practice self-care, and surround yourself with people who love you.  Keep a journal or a blog to help you release the things you can’t bear to say out loud. Put up motivational sticky notes in your home, car, notebooks, calendars, etc to encourage yourself to get through this.  This is not your fault, remember that. Feel free to reach out and send me a message.  I do not have all of the answers, and I may not have any, but I can offer my support.  

To anyone who knows someone going through a miscarriage, please be supportive and understanding.  Check in on them and make sure that they are eating, sleeping, and taking care of themselves.   

[mamaschroedersblog]

parallels between 3x06 of riverdale (2018) and scream (1996)

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Skeet Ulrich reads absurd fan theories.

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— Scream ( 5 / ∞ )

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parallels between 3x06 of riverdale (2018) and scream (1996)

[mamaschroedersblog]

— Scream ( 5 / ∞ )

[mamaschroedersblog]

Skeet Ulrich reads absurd fan theories.

[mamaschroedersblog]

[mamaschroedersblog]

💛💛

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You have to laugh

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Happens almost every day still

'but you had your operation, you should be fine' 😒😠

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someone who has no idea what endometriosis is & has the nerve to tell you “I’m sorry... but everything happens for a reason” “At least you have a boy & a girl”

One That’s hurtful. Two words hurt. Three. We have been trying our hardest for a baby. & suffering through secondary infertility..

If you don’t know what to say don’t say anything at all.

You don’t understand all the hurt, all the pain, & all the tears I’ve cried... crying why me... crying because the pain is unbearable. Crying because I can’t believe this is my reality... Crying because it’s all mentally, physically, & emotionally draining.

My husband trying to be strong for the both of us. My husband holding me while I cry myself until my eyes are all red, swollen & puffy... my husband telling me everything will be okay, it’s just an obstacle that we can get through...

Please be kind, please be thoughtful, if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all. You don’t know what anyone is going through 😭😭💔💔

[mamaschroedersblog]

I don't know who needs this, but if you suffer from BAD period pain or endometriosis, try fish oil pills. Even if you're like 'but i eat fish', just try it. If it doesn't work, well, they're good for your brain anyway.

I suffer from endometriosis, and after taking fish oil pills every day for a month my pain levels changed massively.

Me before: a two day long cycle of screaming- vomiting-fainting with constipation and major body temp fluctuation, unable to walk for most of it (sometimes even stand), let alone go to work.

Me After: able to work, couldn't run but could walk, no body temperature swings between sweating hot and freezing cold, could go to the bathroom normally. Like a 2 out of 10 on the pain scale at the worst, and the pain stopped entirely for long stretches.

I am crying in relief. After years of nothing working, even birth control and midol failing, this is a healthy solution with no side effects. I dont have to be in danger of being fired!

Please reblog to help someone. Please try Fish Oil, also known as Omega-3 Fatty Acids. They sell it at any major drug store or grocery store.

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Kay Weston in RIVER OF NO RETURN (1954) dir. Otto Preminger

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🌻

to the one reading this,

that feeling your mind makes you believe you made up? you didn't make it up.

it's there and valid. it will slowly go away as you work on it but right now, it's real and that's okay too ✨

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me, looking back on it all: