man-peach-reborn

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I know that some British people take umbrage at Americans calling the Great British Bake Off relaxing, but it's just because GBBO is such a different kind of stressful from American baking shows.

American baking shows will be called something like "Cupcake Knife Fight", there's horror movie lighting everywhere and dramatic stings every 5 seconds. All of the contestants are shit talking each other and fist fighting over the one single deep fryer provided by production. It will show the judges all whispering to each other at their super villain table overlooking the whole kitchen, and one will be like, "Oh my god. Everyone look at Brenda right now. She's straight tanking it." And it will cut to Brenda, who is running around covered in flour and crying and also bleeding for some reason. Then you get a clip from an interview with one of the contestants, and they're like, "I really need to win this. Without this award money, I'm gonna need to close my restaurant, sell my dad, and live out of my car. AGAIN." Then the giant digital doomsday clock overhead lets out a horrid klaxon, the judges tell half of them that their cupcakes taste disgusting, and one of them gets eliminated and sent to walk down the dramatically-lit shame hallway never to be seen again.

Meanwhile GBBO is in a lovely, brightly colored tent, there are delightful and friendly hosts/jesters there to keep everyone entertained, and all of the B Roll is of like... a bumblebee going into a flower, or a lamb running in a field. And yes, there will be moments where someone will mess up their timing or something, and they'll be looking at their bake through the oven door like, "oh gosh I don't think this will rise in time!" Then they stand up to find Paul Hollywood directly behind them ominously. His creepy whitewalker eyes will glow white, and he'll say something like "the 12th of June. 2035. Drowning." And his eyes will go back to normal and he'll walk away. Then the baker gives a playful grimace to the camera and says "that didnt sound great, did it?". Cut to a sweet looking older woman sipping tea on a stool and she says "oo I do hope that Prue enjoys the taste of my sugary, sticky baps!". Then, at the end, someone gets a gold star for doing good, and the loser of the episode gets in the middle of a giant group hug. You see all of them at the end of the series at a giant carnival with their families and the post credits informs you that all of the contestants have become a Partridge Family-style traveling band and stayed friends forever.

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Some Enzo, Cyril, & Vandal fanart becasue they are such fantastic little squad and I'm obsessed with ink demons as a concept. A million variations are running through my mind. CMYK printer ink demons, glitter pen ink demons, tattoo ink demons, highlighter ink demons, squid ink demons???? Beautiful possibilties.

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pappy’s rules:

life is for livin’ (moved from three to one)

sunsets are non negotiable

when you die, you’re dead

move your body every day

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i know she was actually nice to them but this wouldn't leave my head until i made it

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My dashboard did a thing

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I’ll Reach You by ionomycinart on Instagram

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he’s getting flashbacks

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Could you do something for The Grape Depression? I'd honestly love to see any character from that play but particularly Pinocchio or the Blue Fairy.

Pinocchio my weak little boy

Also thank you so much @cartoonhourglass who also asked for Pinocchio hehe

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i really wanted to draw a fiery sword so it's roy time

[roy greenhilt is from the webcomic order of the stick]

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I love Guillermo del Toro.

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today's warm up: Too many missing posters in this town.

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Diver convince octopus to trade his plastic cup for a seashell

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these are my mutuals. they know who they are

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me: *trying to take my socks off but they keep getting stuck on my heel* oh fuck. goddamnit.

the extractor fan in a bathroom in Norway that has an intrinsic link to my spirit: *momentarily whirs louder*

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Alexander Jeremy: director extraordinaire, master of comedic timing

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ALSO YOU KNOW-CCHIO HOW DID I FORGET YOU KNOW-CCHIO

Reblog with your favourite SFTH longform and 3 reasons why you love it (or don't do that part, do whatever the hell you want it's your life)

I'll go first: Divorces and Teddy Bears!!!

1. Tom as Krampus and Luke as little Krampus are hilarious

2. "All of the elves have ADHD" and every joke about that but shoutout to Sam telling Luke earnestly that "I think it should be managed" and also "Luke- I mean Snowdrop"

3. Sam adressing him as Snowdrop to Lukes total surprise then AJ a "Tall Elf"

4. (cheeky extra one) The whole thing with the passports