manydaves

[manydaves]

this was supposed to be part of my shipping wall but drawing every specific pairing i like is so hard so this is my stridercest wall i guess

[manydaves]

weirdest thought ever but alphacest regurgitation.

im fully serious btw.

[manydaves]

and then we are right back to where he started.

Dirk talks to rose, and then he talks to bro.

This time is slightly different, because this time he has to talk to jake as well, and explain to his poor husband that the reason why he was leaving him and his kids was because he got obsessed with brother whos been dead for almost 30-40 years.

They all react differently:

Rose suggest that maybe he is just finally processing daves death (which he is) and he is simply trying to make excuses in his mind for his death to cope with it. she suggests that dirk feels guilty, and is blaming himself (he isnt).

Bro doesnt care, dudes dead. Dudes been dead. Dirk is sure that if bro can hear him talking to his stone, dude would be shaking his head, cursing at dirk the way he cursed at dave.

Jake crys. He begs dirk to be realistic, to stay for the kids. He is hurt that dirk would leave his family just because of some late night realization. he promises dirk he doesnt hate him, and that the kids dont have to know, just please stay, please dont ruin your life for this.

Dirk has already made up his mind, though.

He has lived like dave did. He has felt the shame, from himself, and the disappointment, from others.

He knows dave, know, like he didnt know before. He understands him. He hates himself so much that the only reason he doesn't kill himself is because he loves dave.

He goes off, for a few years, maybe 3-4. He travels, to clear his mind. He gets a few phone calls, probably from jake and rose, but he doesnt know. he ditches his phone before he even checks.

He returns after working himself up to it. Jake is home, and neither are the kids, so no one hears him walking up the stairs to jakes safe.

he unlocks it, takes a gun, and leave.

he doesn't leave a note.

no sburb au where dave falls inlove with dirk and feels really guilty about it. no happy ending, just leads up to him breaking down and confessing everything to rose (who says its disgusting) and rose makes him come clean to bro. dave just cracks one day and commits and dirk is heartbroken abt because theres no note or nothing and no one will tell him anything because they are protecting him.

[manydaves]

and when dirk is in his 30's, probably getting married to jake, thinking about having kids, about his career, he will finally fully process everything.

One day, he and jake will be sitting on the couch together of there shitty hotel room, will a couple bottles of shitty wine, and dirk will just break down.

He will think about all the times growing up that he didnt notice at first glance, but were now obvious with how inlove dave was with him. Will remember all the times he'd walked in on dave hiding his wrists and crying, and he will remember thinking, 'i really wish i knew how to help this guy, this has to be more than just teenage hormones right?' and he will hate how right he was. he will hate that it was right there, infront of him the whole time, and he just completely missed it.

He wouldn't think it was his fault, because it wasn't. he didn't make dave fall inlove with him. he did nothing to lead dave on, he did nothing but treat dave like an older brother should.

But he would think about what he could have done if he knew sooner. Maybe he could have talked dave out of it, made sure that dave knew that although dirk didnt love him the same, that he didnt hate dave for it. Maybe he could have acted as if he didn't know, and force dave to confess to him, to get everything off his chest so that dirk can actually help him.

Maybe dirk could have loved him, too.

Dirk pushes jake off him, who was trying to comfort his husband. He just stops crying, assures jake he is fine, and takes a shower.

They leave in the morning and dirk has to pretend like he didn't just think about dating his brother. dirk has to go on, raising his kids, dealing with jake getting fired from his job and them having to cut corners to not go homeless, comforting Kanaya after rose cheated on her and help them through the divorce.

He keeps it in the back of his mind, know nearing his late 50's. He keeps thinking that if only he had loved his brother in the wrong way, dave would be alive.

Him and jake were finally happy. everything was calm. he had the perfect life.

and yet, nearly 30 years late, he realizes that he is exactly the kind of person he hates. Because he is in love with his brother. his dead brother.

he would think about all the times he talked and looked at his dead brother in a negative way, and would regret it all. he loved his dead brother, the way he smiled in photographs, the way he used to force dirk to listen to his shitty raps, the way he would brush dirks hair out of his face while he was too balls deep in digesting a robots stomach to do it himself.

He would hate himself. Because he never loved his brother. He would have never supported THIS while dave was still alive.

no sburb au where dave falls inlove with dirk and feels really guilty about it. no happy ending, just leads up to him breaking down and confessing everything to rose (who says its disgusting) and rose makes him come clean to bro. dave just cracks one day and commits and dirk is heartbroken abt because theres no note or nothing and no one will tell him anything because they are protecting him.

[manydaves]

eventually all of daves friends find out a bit more abt what happended, and they move on just like dirk.

they all just accept that he was mentally ill and they didnt want him to die but there was no way to help him, so maybe it was for the better that dave removed himself from the situation before anybody got hurt, yknow?

no sburb au where dave falls inlove with dirk and feels really guilty about it. no happy ending, just leads up to him breaking down and confessing everything to rose (who says its disgusting) and rose makes him come clean to bro. dave just cracks one day and commits and dirk is heartbroken abt because theres no note or nothing and no one will tell him anything because they are protecting him.

[manydaves]

one day rose will slip up despite bros warnings not to and mention something about dave to dirk, which ends up with her having to explain everything to dirk.

still no happy ending ofcourse, dirk is disgusted with how dave felt. years after the initial shock, he stops celebrating daves birthdays and visting his grave. whenever someone asks him abt dave he just flat out says "yeah no, he was bad person. i loved him, he was my brother, but i have no sympathy for people like that."

no sburb au where dave falls inlove with dirk and feels really guilty about it. no happy ending, just leads up to him breaking down and confessing everything to rose (who says its disgusting) and rose makes him come clean to bro. dave just cracks one day and commits and dirk is heartbroken abt because theres no note or nothing and no one will tell him anything because they are protecting him.

[manydaves]

no sburb au where dave falls inlove with dirk and feels really guilty about it. no happy ending, just leads up to him breaking down and confessing everything to rose (who says its disgusting) and rose makes him come clean to bro. dave just cracks one day and commits and dirk is heartbroken abt because theres no note or nothing and no one will tell him anything because they are protecting him.

[manydaves]

thinking about dave asking (begging) dirk to be mean to him. to push him down and take him by force. to make him bleed.

dirk would do it, because he would do anything for dave, but he would hate it. especially since it gets him off too.

dirk hates anything that ties him to bro, and dave keeps forgetting he's supposed to be forgetting about bro.

[manydaves]

this is what i meant by i was experimenting earlier :P

i think its cute idkk

[manydaves]

You know to exactly where to look when you find him missing. And you know exactly who you'll find with him.

[manydaves]

been experimenting with my art style a little bit. i want it 2 look 'cuter'?

[manydaves]

Lalondification??

[manydaves]

mmm fuck and now im thinking about davecal again

[manydaves]

davecockworship

[manydaves]

Sanitizing the germ factory runt

[manydaves]

goon morning alphacest nation!! (dirk jorking his peanitz to his alpha dave chatbot)

full pic on twt

[manydaves]

i should probably log into this blog more often ahhaaa