maokus

[maokus]

16 year old bisexual discovers a fetish for eating stolen jellybeans while being watched

i look security cameras dead on while i steal jelly beans from those big plastic bins. mmm blue raspberry. mmmm

[maokus]

[maokus]

Coronavirus hospital data will now be sent to Trump administration instead of CDC

…..

REALLY?!??!!?????

We are going to trust the people who touted this as the inauguration with the highest attendance ever with our Covid-19 data??

The good news is that by next week there will be 0 cases and 0 deaths.

The bad news is this will only be on paper. In reality cases are going to surge as the public are lied to and told things are much better and it’s safe to return to normal.

In short, America is fucked.

All these years you were told that China, Terrorists, Mexicans or The Far Left were going to bring down America…

…turns out it’s gonna be Donald Trump.

(source : https://www.cnn.com/2020/07/14/politics/trump-administration-coronavirus-hospital-data-cdc/index.html)

[maokus]

Trump is learning the infinite series. Its reassuring to know that presidents these days are prioritizing their education and facts :)

Hey guys, great news! I understand the concept of halving something. Isn’t it reassuring to know that?

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It’s been one week since we learned Donald trump did nothing after the Russians put bounties on the heads of American soldiers, which is exactly one week longer than Obama would have lasted in office had he done the same exact thing

[maokus]

China is not only breaking the law by violating the autonomy of Hong Kong, but they are also claiming jurisdiction over the entire world. China can prosecute you for violating this law no matter where you are. And depending on where you live, China might be able to arrest you on foreign land. If it is safe for you to do so, please get the word out about this, it is a blatant overreach of power and violation of basic human rights

[maokus]

Well yes but actually no

It depends on the disease, and what vaccines you have.

Viruses such as SARS and influenza adapt at such a fast rate that a single vaccine would only last a year at best. I’d imagine you wont be immune to any of the viral based infections from back then.

On the other hand, some viruses cant really adapt to the same degree. Measles for example needs only two vaccines to be immune for a lifetime because the surface proteins (or spike proteins) dont work to enter other cells if they undergo mutation.

Depending on when you were born, you may have benefited from the complete eradication of a disease due to herd immunity of the previous generation. When a disease is eradicated, there is no longer a need to be vaccinated against it, and therefore production stops. If youre planning to travel back in time, no herd immunity, no eradication, byebye OP!

Things to look out for:

The flu

smallpox

rinderpest

other unclassified diseases that may not have been recorded due to science at the time

Good luck buddy, diseases would probably be the least of your worries anyways.

SCIENCE SIDE OF TUMBLR

Would I, who have all my vaccines, be immune to the same diseases in a Medieval setting, or would they be different?

Because I’d like to know this before I time-travel….

[maokus]

Thats called anxiety pain. It comes in different forms for many people so I cant really be sure if its 100% that but,, yknow

Does the science side of tumblr have an explanation for why I experience a searing pang of anxiety when I think about talkin to certain people?

These are people I like and care about mind you, people I should be enjoying the presence of? Like I'll see a meme or somth and b like, "oh so and so would like tha--" interrupted by a fuckin hot-iron branding pain that starts at my heart and slips into my stomach and sinks lowww. I don't end up sending it. Not even because I feel like they wouldn't like it, I just decide nah. And the feeling stops after I stop thinkin about it.

I've been trying to take a bit of a social hiatus bc of my self-destructive and toxic modes of thinking and feeling. and I've been learning a bit about myself and where my prior insecurities were coming from. I'm trying not to operate under the "you're a burden to your friends and they constantly dread hearing from you," idea anymore because. Well. Fuck that.

But is what IM feeling dread?? Am I the one dreading social interaction from people? Is my gut trying to protect me from something I'm not sure about?? That doesn't seem quite right to me though. Argh.

[maokus]

Me: "I need some serotonin."

Husband: Stands up.

Husband: Sits back down.

Hisband: "I didn't remember what serotonin was until after I stood up so I was deadass about to go get you some."

[maokus]

Because you ate too many fries your welcome that will be $400

Science side of tumblr please tell me why

ain’t

nothing

but a

.*°•.h e a r t a c h e.•°*.

[maokus]

I came for the graphics not the gameplay

so when does this year’s free trial end because i think i wanna cancel my subscription

[maokus]

i dont see why the gun straw is bad

why every type of straw sucks

by me and kyle :)

metal straw: too hard

paper straw: dissolve too easily

plastic straw: bad for earth

cloth straws: soggy

wood straws: splinters

no straw: not a straw

straw straw: that’s a plant

sponge straw: absorbs liquid

ice straw: too cold

denim straws: heavy

froot loop straws: too sweet

suede straws: not allowed to get wet

raw pasta straws: too raw

cooked pasta straws: too tempting to eat

water straw: not a solid

fire straw: owie

person drinks water and puts it into your mouth: gross

not drinking: that doesn’t work

hair straw: w-wait what why would someone use a hair straw

pool noodle straw: that doesn’t work but i wish it did

straw straw: s t r a w

kale straw: fuck you

chicken nugget straw: nobody liked that

rubber straw: hard to clean

cardboard straw: mushy

glass straw: will break then no good

styrofoam straw: crunchy but in a bad way

clay straw: won’t keep shape

ceramic straw: what the fuck

small intestine straw: will digest the liquid before you can

concrete straw: what

fortnight straws: two week

upside down straw: that’s just a straw

fortnite straw: too cringe

french fry straw: salty

invisible straw: people think ur crazy

red vine straw: you’d eat it

german straw: germs

ur pal’s straw: belongs to ur pal

vintage straw: old

book straw: too much reading

cheap straw: doesn’t work

time rift straw: causes rift in time

tan straw: it’s tan and nobody likes tan

paper sack straw: huh

silly straw: made of plastic (see plastic straw)

pen straw: get ink in your mouth

muppet straw: please get away from me

felt straw: ew???

cake straw: soggy cake. gross

sock straw (clean): ok a little weird

sock straw (dirty): i’m going to kill you

bone straw: probably illegal

pencil straw: too much lead

hat straw: how would that work

using a spray bottle to spray liquid into your mouth: not enough liquid per spray

pant leg as a straw: that’s not going to work and you know it

poster straw (in packaging): you’ll ruin your poster

poster straw (not in packaging): not straw shaped

flagpole straw: metal and giant and not a straw

sucking water up your nose: please don’t do this

cheese straw: you will 1000% eat it

grass straw: grass

tape straw: liquid will stick to it

capitalist straw: expensive

dirt straw: will also absorb liquid

marker straw: your tongue will dye

pipe straw: ur not taking a shower dum dum

uncooked spaghetti: no thank you

cooked spaghetti: see cooked pasta

that life straw thing: removes all the “natural flavoring”

bagel straw: bread. also, won’t work

gun straw: probably gonna kys

using a water gun and squirting it into your mouth: not enough water. also, i hate you

power hose straw: too much pressure

regular hose straw: do you really want to drink hose water

shoe straw: then you have a wet shoe

stick straw: no

conclusion? all straws suck

[maokus]

if only

If we didn’t test for covid, we wouldn’t have any covid positive tests, and that would mean no more covid. It could go away in two weeks if the dems didn’t insist on testing as many people as possible, but they care about “safety” and “health”. I care about AMERICA!

[maokus]

we should abandon the current US government system and replace it with the ranking system in warrior cats don’t @ me

[maokus]

Or the monologue youre having with your simulated tumblr followers

nothing on god’s green earth is funnier than the monologue that’s been actively going on in my head for four years

[maokus]

In grade 4 i had an assignment to write a poster about the states of matter and i wrote about the 29 states and i had to redo it bc they only wanted 3

From a recent discussion in science class