maria-the-virtuous

[maria-the-virtuous]

My venus fly trap has finally arrived!!! Time to plant it and wait for the perfect moment to walk past is with Smelius......

[maria-the-virtuous]

congratulations on your wedding! or sorry that happened

It's okay it'll be over soon!

[maria-the-virtuous]

Smelius and I are officially married. In attendance was Livia as my handmaiden, her rats Durkheim, Marx, and Weber, the exotic animals Livia has been training (chimps, bears, ostriches, snakes, and Carthaginians), nearly Smelius's 50 slaves, his family, and Vesta (in my heart)

[maria-the-virtuous]

In a few hours I will officially be Smelius's wife. I thought I would be more excited about marrying a capable patrician, but sadly I am not. However I have been praying to Vesta in between my chores and working on my writing in my free time 😛 I have been trying to come up with what my special talent is for the circus when Livia and I escape, and I think I want to learn how to train exotic animals too! I have been inspired by all my oranguatangs that have passed away or run away. I ask myself, how could I have prevented my orhanutangs escaping from my care? Could I have been more virtuous? Should I have fed them more consistently? Livia has been giving me tips and tricks and designing costumes for us, I am looking forward to being part of an animal-training duo!

[maria-the-virtuous]

The hog sold all his Shitcoin and unfortunately lost about 1.2 million shits.

[maria-the-virtuous]

Tis the day of my wedding!!!

The morning started simply, Livia helped me put on my wedding garments one and spent a few hours braiding my hair into 6 pleats. It was quiet as she did so, there were words between us left unspoken. I still hope she understands why I am doing this. After she braided my hair, she washed my feet and hands to prepare for the ceremony.

Considering the abnormal circumstances we are in, some of the traditions of marriage have been overlooked. However, Smelius made sure there would be an animal sacrifice, a hog. Sadly the hog is one of Livia's animals whom she had been training to trade cryptocurrency, but Livia was powerless to stop Smelius as was I. Sadly the hog will be sacrificed after he sells off his remaining supply of Shitcoin, which is sadly worth shit.

[maria-the-virtuous]

My wedding is tomorrow. Unfortunately my giant venus fly trap is still a few days away. In times like this it's good to look at the positives:

Livia is my best friend and I am quickly growing fond of her rats

The villa I live in is very splendid despite the societal unrest outside

There will be a beautiful feast at my wedding

My husband is a patrician

I miss Pietro, but my desire for him wanes over time. Livia has been by my side all this time and sets my luxuria on fire, but she knows we are just friends. I must remind myself that I need to marry Smelius to escape and have a fulfilling life at the circus.

[maria-the-virtuous]

do livias rats count for ur dni or does that only apply to humans

Yes it only applies to humans (rats pose no risk to my virtue)

Livia is allowed to do whatever she pleases and if she wants to have philosophers around I will just have to look away and clench my virtue as hard as possible

[maria-the-virtuous]

First the Vestals refuse to admit me to their ranks, then this "Pedro Pascal Fan Community" is so elusive it is nearly impossible to find, and now AO3 will not let me join their country until April 21. Fuck my stupid Roman life

[maria-the-virtuous]

The RPS (Roman Postal Service, separate from the Roman State) (they primarily use messenger hawks) has just notified Smelius (thru messenger hawk) that my Venus fly trap is to arrive by the end of the week! He bought express shipping, yay! Apparently it has already eaten three hawks in the process of transport. Yay!

[maria-the-virtuous]

I know there's civil wars going on and my society is in shambles (i.e. a state of anomie as Livia's rat Durkheim would say) but do you guys think Pietro ever thinks of me?

[maria-the-virtuous]

I have commissioned the artisan @tanaka-drew with Smelius's money to create for me a so-called "theme." Gratias tibi ago!

[maria-the-virtuous]

I have been using my engagement to Smelius Manius to have him purchase gifts for Livia, who I have told Smelius is my platonic best friend and handmaiden (he wanted to send her off into the plebeian farms where she would surely be poached much like my organgutang and her giraffe) (and in a sense the orangutange and the giraffe represent me and Livia and our efforts to escape as friends). The first gift he purchased for Livia was a giant hula hoop made of the finest gold to train rats with, a hobby she has picked up since we became trapped in this villa. She has a three rats so far and they are named Durkheim, Marx, and Weber, and they have analyzed a lot about the relationships within this home, it's actually crazy because the rats will cook an entire feast (they refuse to use the slaves because of the forced division of labor), pour themselves a glass of wine, and wax philosophical about rat society and rat culture. It's truly incredible. I am hoping that the golden hoop I had Smelius get will expedite their training new trick (jumping through the hoop) although I think Marx may be plotting with the other rats to destroy Livia and I. I think Durkheim would rather talk it out and Weber is too busy studying Vesta to bother. We'll see!

[maria-the-virtuous]

I do hope your giant fly flytrap arrives in time for your wedding. As tragic as it would be if your new husband falls prey to it, I'm sure Livia would be willing to console you in your time of grief.

Livia has been quite cross with me lately, I think she is upset that I will be marrying Smelius Manius. It isn't exactly the result I wanted either! But at least he is a patrician. I have told Livia before that in another life, if she were a man, I would love to marry her and train exotic animals together. But sadly with the state of the world the way it is now, I just do not see that being possible. Regardless, I hope she understands that my decision was for both of us. When the time comes, I am happy to push Smelius into the venus fly trap together, and hold hands (platonically) as we watch his organs disintegrate!

[maria-the-virtuous]

Praying to Vesta to give me the virtue and patience needed to kill Smelius Manius

[maria-the-virtuous]

What do you think Pedro’s mentula looks like? 😳

[maria-the-virtuous]

I agreed to marry Smelius Manius, much to Livia’s dismay, but I agreed to this marriage on two conditions: 1) Livia is to be my handmaiden, and 2) I must be allowed UNLIMITED access to tumblr.com. The last part Smelius asked, “isn’t that the porno site?” I had to explain to him the porn ban of 2018, though I omitted the fact that I still see big ol mentula on my dash 😛 He agreed and we are set to be married. For my wedding gift, I reminded him that my birthday is coming up ( May 1 ) and by that time I would like a giant venus fly trap for the garden. He agreed and will be ordering one from a far away land. Hopefully it will come alive and fully adult, and Livia and I will be able to escape together to the beautiful circus