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*ANNOUNCEMENT: NEW SERIES*

Today I’d like to announce that I’m going to begin a new series of essays/blogs. This will be in a similar style to my Dearly Beloved posts. The current working title is “That Which We Create, Creates Us” and will be about the media we love, why we love it, and how that media has effected the people we’ve grown to become. 

Everything choice we make shapes us into who we are as people. Some of us are creators, inspired by creations, making new content to inspire the next generation to create. Some of us teach lessons through media. And every one of us is a consumer. Whether you’ve come to realize it yet or not, everything you’ve ever felt fond of, has played it’s part in making you, you. I don’t like to use the word “phenomenon” lightly, but in some places, like many of the things we’ll talk about on “That Which...”, it’s fairly accurate. For many things I’ll go into detail on what I love, why it may appeal to a wide audience, and the effect it’s had on society. 

I know this is vague so once the first installment is up and I’ve explained what it is a little better, I’ll probably delete this little introduction post. But expect the first post later this week and it’s going to be about everyone’s favorite little Japanese fighting monsters ;)

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Rainbow Caverns // Dearly Beloved #5 (Dec 2018)

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Rainbow Caverns (Feb 2019)

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Rainbow Caverns // Dearly Beloved #4

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Tucker Aspen Black (v1.0)

Early life: Tucker Aspen Black grew up an only child in Richmond, Virgina. She was raised by David and Natalie Black. Her dad is ,and for her entire life has been, a US Senator and has always been in and out of Washington, DC, which is why her parents chose to move to Virginia after college. Her mom used to be a part-time news anchor on a news local Richmond news station and part-time night school teacher until about ten years ago when she got hired to be a professor of English literature at the University of Virginia. She was always really close to her parents and they both influenced her in a lot of ways. David kept Tuck interested in politics and government and history. Natalie made sure she always had a book to read or a story to tell and compassion in her heart.

The divorce: In middle school, they started going on vacation quite a bit more and her dad was gone a lot because he’s usually in session or on committee. It was about this time when she started to realize that things were changing. She loved going places with her mom and dad but knew that if they were being especially nice it usually meant things weren’t quite right. When Tucker was 15, her parents announced that they were getting a divorce. She knew why - the pressure of being the wife of a Senator was too much for Natalie, because David was gone all the time and had to fight for his attention. Tucker was heartbroken. Eventually she started acting out: drinking and partying and letting her grades slip. Partially because she was sad and she wanted to feel ok again, and partially because she was hoping that she could keep their attention long enough for them to realize that she needed them together. It took her a long time to come to her senses and realize that no one was really happy in the family and decided (and accepted) that the divorce was for the best.

High school: Tucker finished freshman year at the top of her class, then after the divorce she kept dropping further and further down. Despite her partying phase, she was quite popular. She was historian in her sophomore and junior classes and vice-president her senior year. She was involved in many clubs and organizations that kept her busy and entertained. Her senior year, Tucker picked herself backed up and started to pull her grades up again. She ended up finishing high school 6th in her class and left on a good note.

Now: Once Tucker got to college, she was able to reunite with her childhood friend, now boyfriend, Karter. They lived in different states their entire lives, but their parents had been friends since college and managed to stay in touch afterwards. Tucker was there the day Karter got adopted and they’ve been best friends ever since and they chose to go to college together. Tucker thought about going into politics for a long time, but remembered that essentially it tore her family apart, so she went with a way for her to stay involved with the world without getting into all the mess - journalism. She’s very happy with the way things are turning out. Despite all of the stress of doubling her major and being in as many organizations as possible, having a job, and trying to find time for her friends and Karter, she manages to stay positive most of the time.

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Rainbow Caverns // Dearly Beloved #3 (Nov 2018)

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Rainbow Caverns (Dec 2018)

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International Women’s Day

As girls, they tried to tell us what we should and shouldn't do.

They tried to tell us a time or two.

Don't slouch, don't slump don't put your feet in you seat. Don't be too loud, don't be too quiet. Be somewhere in between.

As girls, the tried to tell us that "the boys are just stronger than you, it's okay. Look at these pink toys I bought you." But I don't want to play that way.

I know what's been expected of me my whole life, I know what they want from me. They want to me be a wife.

And a mother. And whatever other titles they bestow upon me whether I want them or not. They don't want me to let my uterus waste and rot.

Now there's more to the story than babies and dirty knees. It's just easier to bring up first, and slide into the rest with ease.

As young women, they made us feel like toys. Just playful little treats for good little boys.

They made us scared to walk alone. In the dark, at night, even during the day while the sun still shone.

And whatever we do we just can't seem to win. We're either too prudish or revealing, we're either too sad or too happy, we're either too fat or too thin.

We're either unfit for motherhood or too selfish to have a kid. For some reason they keep trying to put us in boxes, but we are too big and too bright and they can't finish putting on the lid.

To all the women out there around the world, this one is for you and every girl.

I want you all to know that there's nothing that we can't dare to be. Doctors, lawyers, artists, and revolutionaries.

So whatever they've told you and whatever they've done, remember that ours is a fight that has yet to be won.

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It’s Different Now

Sometimes, I can still hear you speak to

Me when I dream at night.

Although, when I wake up

I don’t remember the way you used to sound.

You still tell me stories

But it’s different now.

I have to read them from a screen

Much like the one I’m writing this poem on

I know you’re still here

And I know you’re still around

But sometimes it seems

Like you’re further away than ever.

We’re distant now.

I don’t think we know each other the way we used to.

I’ve never known two people in the same room

To be so far apart.

I don’t know if we’re avoiding conversation on purpose

Or if there’s just not much to say.

Every now and then I get a text that says “Please come over, I miss you”

Why don’t I just respond

The worst of it all is that you infuriate me.

No one makes me angrier than you do.

You manage to elicit so much emotion without saying a word.

That’s your superpower.

We fight and argue without ever opening our mouths

We scream so loudly when we type

I’ve never heard a silence

Quite as loud as ours

“Of course I miss you too” I think to myself

I miss everything we used to have

And all the time I’ll never get to live again with you

But I end up typing “I’ll see you soon”

I miss you too

I miss you being around

And I miss who you were

When you could still say my name

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Cory Burke Cook (v2.0)

Cory is the youngest child of two in a family from Ridgebrook. Not a lot of kids, but his older sister Morgan was always practically perfect. She was smart and beautiful and well-behaved and popular, and Cory? Well he was always a little bit of a troublemaker. As a little kid he liked to raise a little hell and throw a fit every now and then. He liked to play baseball and eat everything in sight. But now he’s all grown up. Now, an aspiring actor dying for a taste of the limelight and that glamorous, hedonistic lifestyle, and an affinity (or call it a weakness) for girls and sex, Cory is brash, obnoxious, egotistical and sarcastic. He is the person you love to hate and you can’t decide if you’d rather watch him fail or succeed.

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I Used To Pray At Night

I used to pray at night

After I was in bed, and before I went to sleep.

I would pray for me and my family and for my friends and all the people I’ve never met.

But mostly, I would pray for me.

On a Saturday night, I would pray for me, and on Sunday morning they would tell me that that was wrong.

They would tell me that what I was praying for was wrong.

That wasn’t the only thing they told me was wrong.

I would cry at church because they told me the life I was living was wrong.

They told me what was wrong, and I believed them.

I believed them when they told me about the music I shouldn’t listen to.

I believed them when they told me about the movies I shouldn’t watch.

I believed them when they told me it was wrong to go trick or treating, because Halloween was a night to worship Satan and because trick or treating was what Satan wanted me to do.

I believed them, and I cried.

And despite believing them, I did all those things anyway, because I loved them.

And do you know what happens to a person when they do what they they love but they are taught to believe it’s wrong?

Guilt. Agonizing guilt. The kind of guilt that keeps you awake at night. The kind of guilt that takes years to unlearn.

The kind of guilt that no 11-year-old should have to feel.

So I chose not to pray.

Because prayer leads to guilt.

And guilt leads to self-loathing.

And self-loathing leads to a long hard battle that no one should have to fight.

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Rainbow Caverns (Dec 2018)

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Brooks Robin Wheeler

Early life: Brooks Robin Wheeler was raised in Houston, Texas by his two adopted moms, Monica and Madison. Monica is a pediatric doctor and Madison is a stay at home mom. Life was pretty quiet for the Wheeler’s. They were a family that was all about bonding and quality time and sharing what you love with who you love. They would all sit around together and play music and watch movies and enjoy each other’s company. Brooks was even home-schooled until the 5th grade. At home he learned how to read and write and play guitar and piano. He even sometimes helped Madison make dinner. Brooks was a normal kid. He liked to climb trees and play in the dirt with the neighborhood kids. He got into a lot of things that are considered nerd culture and he loves every minute of it. Adopting Keegan: When Brooks was 8, Monica and Madison decided it was time for another kid. They wanted to help a child who wouldn’t get the care (or maybe wouldn’t even get adopted) otherwise. They found Keegan, a two year old boy with an immune deficiency disease. Since Monica was a doctor, they knew they could provide for him and give him the care he needed. Brooks was super excited to have a little brother. Although Brooks knew he couldn’t run and play all the time like most kids, he wanted to be able to spend time with him and be close. As Keegan got older, they watched comedy movies and listened to music together. They ended up having a lot of things in common and are now each other’s best friends. High school: Brooks had a similar high school experience to most teenagers. He would party a lot and had just enough friends to keep him happy. They used to go out on the weekends and drink and have a good time. When he wasn’t with his friends, he was at home (or sometimes in the hospital) with Keegan. Now: College has been good to Brooks so far. He now has hopes of being a comedian one day. A dream he’s had since he realized how much his brother loves it. Things have never been really rough for Brooks except for those times they had to stay countless hours at the hospital to make sure Keegan was ok, but now since he’s a teenager and taking better care of himself and getting good treatments that doesn’t happen hardly ever. Brooks is happy here but is actually really ready to move on with his life and do great things.

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Rainbow Caverns // Dearly Beloved #2 (Oct 2018)

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All I’ve Got

I’m sorry I can’t give you all the love you deserve.

I’m sorry my heart can’t hold that much,

But I promise I give you all I have.

You deserve so more than what

I have to offer.

You deserve more than I can give you.

I keep thinking that one day you’ll wake up

And realize that you can do so much better.

That one day you’ll leave me for so much more.

And how could I blame you if you did?

I just want you to be happy, right?

But part of me hopes you’ll settle for me forever.

Part of me hopes you’ll never realize

What I can’t give to you.

I know my love is a little selfish.

I know sometimes I come on a bit too strong.

I know sometimes I seem paranoid but my brain

Doesn’t always work right.

And I know sometimes I’m irrational

But somehow, this works.

But what I know better than anything else,

Is that I love you so much.

So much that my heart spills over.

It’s not quite enough, but it’s all I’ve got.

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Waverly Nova Maddox

Waverly grew up in the Bronx, what else is there to say? Every day she experienced things that no one should ever have to see. There were kids without homes and doing drugs. Everywhere she turned, there were cops and EMTs and fire trucks. Getting a good night’s sleep was nearly impossible. Holidays were no different from any other day, because there was really no spirit. Waverly had to learn to defend herself from the potential dangers on the streets of New York. She began to take martial arts and self-defense classes in Manhattan. One evening, when she was about 14, on her way back from a class, when she had almost made it back to her apartment, she was stopped by a crowd of people on her street. Waverly had intended to go around and ignore it like she usually did. Until something caught her eye. There was a man and a woman lying on the ground, seemingly not breathing. She fought her way through to get a closer look. As she approached the scene, these faces seemed to look a little familiar. Her eye flittered to the woman’s wrist and instantly recognized the bracelet that she had spent months earning to buy for her mom for Christmas. (Well…you know where this is going). Waverly later moved in with her family in Long Island, which she much prefers to call home. Aside from her ongoing struggle with depression and introversion she continued to live life as a normal person would, and got a job teaching self defense classes at the Rec Center and the Y.

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Rainbow Caverns (Oct 2018)