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markik · 11 months ago

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a song & a story!

For six hours, I sat next to this old dude in an impound lot in south, south Chicago. He was very drunk and kept bragging about setting the very same impound lot on fire like twenty years ago. He lit a cigarette as a timer with accelerant in a gas cap, trailed gas around too. But he got away with it by going back to his house a few blocks away, and waiting sipping his whiskey on his porch until he heard sirens. "After that, the impound lot installed cameras," he crowed, gesturing widely with his arms.

So why'd he do it? They impounded his van full of thousands of dollars of tools, "my livelihood," he said bitterly. And when he got it back, his tools and equipment for home repair and plumbing were stolen. Nobody investigated it, he claimed; the attendant smirked at him as he left, too. "I got mine."

Now, the clerks, who he referred to as "hook nosed," were not pleased by this. And I was sitting right next to him, asking him questions, trying to be pleasant and asking questions. So the idea that they'd conflated me with him occurred to me, as we were two black men, and I was capital-T Trying to be pleasant and not go insane. My own car was impounded because the battery died and I couldn't move it, at the same time I needed to go home from college.

Why was I there? Why did I need to leave? I'd been suspended—I turned a paper in late while on academic probation, my own fault from years of being a good classroom discusser, but a procrastinator with bad work habits (got an A- in the class when all was settled). My only complaint: I went to one of the school psychiatrists ahead of that final quarter, who suggested a course of three different medications for borderline ADHD in my final quarter (before I went back and got my degree two years later).

Three medications: Concerta, Strattera, and Wellbutrin, across ten weeks. No bueno. Not everybody can detect the effects of antidepressants right off the bat, I'm told. I can, 100%, every single time, first dose, so I suppose I'm sensitive. This rather extra course did change my brain chemistry in good and bad ways persisting to this day, but the mental stability I needed in the first place, conducive to being a good student and a calm, centered person? Out the window.

I asked if I could get less than the minimum dosage for these drugs multiple times, because they were overwhelming for me, each in different, bizarre ways. She said no. And this psychiatrist did not keep me safe in that regard, with her prescriptions. I was, really, really, Trying not to go insane, get my car back, put my stuff in a storage unit, and leave the city.

At some point toward the end of my six hours, I began to get pretty frustrated. I told the old guy off in some principled, genius way--aside from the story, he was pretty obnoxious--that must've struck a chord, because the guy left muttering after. The clerks called me up to get my car, I kid you not, within an hour of me doing that. They said they were waiting for my certificate because my registration was expired, but I sometimes consider: what if they just thought I was that guy's friend. And if I had their approval earlier, I wouldn't have waited six hours while several others came in, got their cars, and left.

I don't hate the clerks, or the guy. I have no enemies, and I hope people feel the same way about me.

[I changed "impound lot" to "monument" because that's probably how the clerks felt about the place, and I wanted the reader to feel their perspective, but with this context, I'd feel fine leaving it as is.]

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F C F C F Am E7 F

I was joking in a stranger's car when the impound lot burned down “Nobody will talk about how they'll just print another one,” Sleeping safely in this house I swear I still see lit fires

C Cmaj7add#5 Am Ammaj7 C Cmaj7add#5 Am Ammaj7 C E7 Am F Esus4 E

I would not want them neighborly but could read by their flickering and pick apart my "luckily"s like easy access to the lake I laid there 'til the morning came tried to breathe through stalks and reeds

Dm G C Cmaj7 Dsus4 G7 C Am

bounty hunter, bounty hunter digging through fresh tinder for scraps of information on cold cases, don’t bother

Dsus4 G7 C Am

You can fire one fool No cassius clay Still blew the lot to bits They never really closed the case

Dm G7 C F C F C F Am E7 F

if I saved up all my cash, they’d simply say I sell drugs; if you didn't do the drugs your quarry would escape

C Cmaj7add#5 Am Ammaj7 C E7 Am F Esus4 E

bounty hunter, bounty hunter, laughing undercover court orders and fundraisers, we all have tools of trade

Dm G C Cmaj7 Dsus4 G7 C Am

who wouldn’t press advantage, who hasn't lost to dirty tricks? and honestly? I'd second guess thumbprint-indexed innocence

C Cmaj7 Am E C Cmaj7 E F

I tried to play it clean tonight but couldn't hold the rhythm I saw you in the upper right, your camera on my fingers

C Cmaj7 Am E C Cmaj7 E F

what papers do I have to sign to prove that I am credible? I burst into receipts, seems I’m still missing your damn signature

#songwriter #song of the day #song lyrics

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