maroon5-official

[maroon5-official]

The yearly curse has lifted

[maroon5-official]

well yes

[maroon5-official]

I'm gonna be Pirate King!" - Monkey D. Luffy (One Piece)

[maroon5-official]

[maroon5-official]

here’s why vine was and will always be superior to tiktok you can’t really spread a lot of misinfo in 6 seconds you had to go viral on the strength of your humor and not on the allure of insane conspiracy theories or MRA talking points it’s why vines legacy will be shit like “back at it at krispy kreme” and not the downfall of democracy

[maroon5-official]

I hate you "click now to sync contacts". I hate you "sign in with Facebook". I hate you "connect with your Twitter". I hate you targeted ads. I hate you social media algorithms. I hate you brands and mascots with accounts. I hate you "upgrade to premium". I hate you free trials that require credit card info. I hate you pop up ads that take up half the screen. I hate you ads with sound. I hate you unskippable commercials. I hate you anti-piracy firewalls. I hate you late stage capitalism.

[maroon5-official]

enough about my guts

it’s time i rearrange his penis.!!!

[maroon5-official]

I do hold scorn for people in weed states I do. I really do. The way your stupid 21 year old ass can go to the weed store and buy weed. The way your stupid 21 year old ass can buy weed online not a care in the world. And you have so much to choose from. You have so much fucking gorrila cumshot big fat load of cum horse cock mega 1 billion tch % to choose from and they all got different names and when our good texan plugs come home from colorado they bring that poison with them. They bring that poison home to us. And the people of texas, we're smoking that poison. Were smoking that filthy filthy colorado 10000 thc shit, and were dying. Were dying out here. The soil down here is lerfect for weed. If we could have weed we could create, beautiful poison. Way more toxic than colorodo. Way more toxic than california. We can make weed so insane, bitched from colorado will come down here, to smoke OUR poison. And WE could name it shit like Ram Ranch. We could name it shit like Horse Erection. We could name it shit like, I dont know, Forget The Alamo. YOU, worthless idiots up north, can smoke our latino magic. You dont got tejanos. You dont got our technology. You don't got what it takes. You dont know what its like. Theyre not legalizing weed down here cause they hate us. You know they do. You know for a fact they do. So yeah. Just think before you spark up with that shit you got down the street trouble free. Do so in my name. In our name. Keep the less fortunate in mind. I HOPE THE CIELING FAN FALLS ON YOU

[maroon5-official]

I know American Psycho has a lot of exaggeration and satire to it but the one detail in it that’s absolutely completely true to life is how Patrick Bateman’s job does not appear to actually entail anything you can define as real work. There are millions of guys like him in America, probably more now than there were when that movie got made, whose job is to just kind of hold a position of power in a huge company without really doing anything that requires any skill or labor.

[maroon5-official]

*seductively* doomed by the narrative all by yourself, handsome?

[maroon5-official]

Watching the skypiea arc rn

[maroon5-official]

i say this before doing just about anything

[maroon5-official]

seen a this edible aint shit but for adderall

[maroon5-official]

i've had several retail and food service jobs and they were all so much harder than whatever i'm doing in this office right now. it honestly feels like cheating. service industry workers should be paid $100 per hour with full benefits including the right to kill one customer per year

[maroon5-official]

Spooky spirits and a pair of ferrets. 

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[maroon5-official]

this post is dedicated to my mutuals who are still my mutuals despite the horrors