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[maryelizaglam]

https://paradigmtreatment.com/signs-of-neurodivergence/

Can’t tell if the autism is getting worse / “stronger” as I get older or if I’m just becoming more self aware or my ability to “tolerate” things I would previously waste my energy tolerating I’m just not willing to tolerate anymore

But either way,

In other news. I really need a word that can describe thought that is difficult to structure or intangible from description

I experience this phenomenon a lot, and I’m not sure why I could come up with a couple theories but I’m literally just thinking about thinking

It happens to me a lot though where like I feel like a centralized concept or topic is just connected to so many things in such a vast and complex or dynamic way that it becomes tangled convuluted and inconclusive and I just start muttering in confusion really fast trying to cover all the basis and make it all come together but it doesn’t fit like the thought itself is being pulled in so many directions it just disintegrates the centralized idea I was trying to look directly at

(Sort of like the concept of trying to look at a galaxy directly in a telescope but it is one that is only viewable by *not* looking directly at it?)

That’s kind of like a tangent of the initial thing I was describing actually but that happens too so

I think it has to do with flow state and such

Anyways I keep waking up with head aches, I think I must have a brain tumor at this point. If I was dying of cancer it would honestly be a relief to me not because I want to die but it would make all the crazy symptoms I have going on inside me make sense

Though I know cancer is not the conclusion and I don’t have it, I’m just saying I recognize there is like, problems. Going on, inside me.

And I l haven’t spend so much time coping with or fixing or medicating those things or finding ways to do it in an affordable manner that somehow still also a lots me time and ability to function like a “normal person” in all respects and what’s expected of me performance wise

And meanwhile im expected to communicate to you though there is a gap and im expected to bridge that gap tho my ‘disability’ makes me literallly incapable of doing so and blind to where the gaps even are in the first place

And I’m expected to do everything everyone else does in the same way they do and

If a fish could climb a tree like

Just trust my way of doing things and don’t question it and don’t get mad or frustrated or upset with why I do or do not / how I do certain things

Just let me do it my way and don’t question it and then later you will see why it had to be that way and it was faster and better for me in the long run

Basically stop making kids explain the steps in their math homework if they already know the answer just put them in a different class because they’re probably really fucking bored out of their mind anyways

And I can’t talk about any of this stuff because PC culture is so rampant on the internet I get attacked with a pitch fork for coming across one way when in reality I’m just communicating really directly and people perceive it as “oh you’re an entitled narcissistic ass hole!”

But no I’m just trying to be matter of fact and not sparing an energy toward whatever emotional or judgemental thoughts may arise from said conversations because they are strictly intellectual in nature and people assume without asking directly or communicating like

I’m …. Completely open to bending these thoughts and open to new concepts and shedding light in different perspectives on things amalgamate all of it together it’s all just fine like just let it all be at once

Everything doesn’t have to be an argument of who’s right or wrong in fact I think trying to rapidly reach such conclusions in the manner we do is almost absurd

Hahahah but yeah I can’t like connect with people who understand me without using terms like neurodivergent or 98th percentile or spectrum

And people are like throwing the hatchet like you think you’re a special snowflake when in reality no I just recognize there is a problem or an inherent flaw in our ability to communicate and understand each other so I’m just trying to matter of fact explain and bridge that gap as best I can

But the more I explain the further and deeper hole I dig with people usually until the point they actually hate me

So I just stay quiet in order to attempt spare myself the suffering

It’s not whining about no one understands it’s trying to fix the problem so we don’t keep running into this same issue and can move past it together it’s progressive

But it takes two willing participants. I can’t be the only one rowing the boat steering the ship etc

Both parties have to paddle a little or we will go in circles I promise

When I mention that I am 98th percentile like in the tags I am looking for people who are like me who really exist in real time (not just reading an author from the 18th century) and wanting to see them and connect with them

There are aspects of certain people’s personalities which I can connect with well despite being on different planes of thought and the way in which we conceptualize thought being vastly different

But yeah, sometimes it’s a relief to meet someone else who “gets it” without being judgemental about it. It’s not meant to be an elitist term there just isn’t a lot of other tags to use or terms that… give us something to… attract each other.

It goes beyond neurodivergence because obviously that term is covering a much broader umbrella, I’m looking for a specific genre of neurodivergents I guess you could say? Who are like myself

In odddr to find some solace and peace in belonging

A sigh of relief you know it’s like

Imagine if everyday of your life you had to take 9 flights of stairs to go everywhere you wanted to go

And then you finally find a home, wifh an escalator. And it’s the only home in existence you’ve ever seen with an escalator.

Finally you can stop climbing so damn hard it’s a sigh of relief

Like oh thank god I can go home and I don’t have to climb 9 flights of stairs to get there I can just relax and take my socks off

Long story short I don’t want to explain anything anymore I just want to do what I want to do without having to- because it is almost damn near pointless and impossible to BOTHER with it anyway

I’m done complaining

[maryelizaglam]

https://youtube.com/shorts/2kmsr2xDGhE?si=-SoYOabQN74bTZ2p

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Is 5am too early to go on a walk??? Ffff I wish I lived on the beach the wind would feel so good. I don’t know what to do this early sometimes

🌴 palm trees

Yeah yeah yeah

[maryelizaglam]

Makeup on my mind…

I want to talk about trends but I also just want to talk about my “makeup thoughts” … products that maybe aren’t the newest hot thing but should be

Gucci lip is my fave

Charlotte pillow talk is pretending to be one size fits all

What is the point of pink powder??

How do I feel about cream blush

Is beaming highlight old news or in again

“Bare” beauty trends- hailey Bieber, Kim k, skin care, rare beauty

What is your makeup mood? I feel like there are so many different expressions of beauty and the artistry or identity that goes into makeup, there are great products out there that turn into a viral sensation, but truly everyone has their own unique vibe and I love seeing it all come together. What makeup products make up your vibe or makeup identity the best?

Indie brands I’m obsessed with: highlighters in the cool packaging and the odens eye

Auric beauty

Transfer proof lip, transfer heat budge proof makeup water proof

I don’t like silicone primers

Can’t find a noncomedogenic sunscreen, help

Patrick Ta blushes don’t hype me up

Bobbi brown primer over hyped?

Drunk elephant overhyped?

Skin care favorites

I feel like makeup is all about feeling and sensation

Eyeshadow palettes that didn’t impress me

Rainbow by too faced, naked (I miss the old naked), lady gaga eye shadow, urban decay shadows, Clinique

Drug store blush???

Dior blush, overhyped or just right?

UK makeup trends….

Do lashes make you look prettier, or older?

Cutest brand ever: beauty bakerie, too faced, and baddie b lashes, Kylie, Huda, color pop, kaja, and

Marc jacobs coconut line was everything

Mac fix plus, overhyped? Urban decay… testing overhyped setting sprays and popular makeup gripping primers

Hyped skin care that’s worth it vs not worth it, essence, elemis, fresh toner, Michellar water, beauty makeup removers

Nikki tutorials glitters

Are Mac eyeshadows overhyped?

Orange packaging makeup, good or bad

Target beauty products I hate

Testing Revolution

Testing KKW testing Arianna beauty

KKW fragrance reviews

Jackie sims candles, jeffreee star, Jaclyn hill, influencer makeup James Charles, Tati, Nikki’s tutorials, beauty bay, mmmitchell,

Fave bath products: Kylie, tea tree oil

Fave candles with candle warmer

Are we steaming our bed sheets

Staying inspired with beauty and slow TLC and cleanse

The best brow products vs overhyped

[maryelizaglam]

Top favorite foundations:

Fenty > for everyday

Dior

Nars

Chanel

Bobbi brown

1. Fenty - I know this is a really polarizing one and there is about 50/50 people who hate it people who love it. No one foundation is going to sit the same on every face on the planet, it’s a unique chemistry just like perfume wears uniquely on top of your chemistry. But on me personally it wears beautifully, as time goes on it gets better, but I don’t hate it in the beginning either. I feel like I need less makeup, which I love, it doesn’t make my skin underneath look covered which is important with freckles. But instead is just evening out the tone of my natural shade, and brightening, bringing a really natural radiance without being “shiny.” It’s an amazing formula that is truly high class, and the shade range, is what sells me on it. I have a really difficult time finding a shade match for my skin, but fenty not only is a perfect match, but goes above and beyond that and makes me skin upgraded to a place I reallly didn’t know it could go. Hard to explain, but fenty is doing all the extra credit when it comes to highlighting the beauty of your skin tone, rather than coverng it up. And this, is innovation, and science, and the future of makeup. I know it’s gotten tons of hype, but it needs more. This brand, is “future” sci fi makeup, out of this world, new, knock your socks off kind of thing that the entire beauty industry is waiting for. I really like the train they were on with this, and I would like to see them continue to out do themselves, stay creative, and innovative. Their edge was truly the innovation. Making waves.

I want to see makeup by Mario make a foundation, and Patrick Ta as well.

I don’t care what anyone says, but what happened to Pat Magrath? Inglot? Makeup geek? And dose of colors. Dominique cosmetics.

Ciate, Gerard cosmetics,

And lastly Marc jacobs beauty :’(

Lorac

Mac

Becca

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📸: edel.pascalv

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sarahsunita

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