matievusthemarvellous

[matievusthemarvellous]

You have come too far to turn back now

You have come too far to turn back now

When you arrive

At a point in your life

When things are not going

The way you thought.

You find yourself

Looking around

Wondering how it is

You fell in the midst of darkness,

That’s when you can be taken

By an overwhelming feeling

Of loneliness

That allows a breach of powerful emotions,

Before you know it

Anger has crept in

Followed by anxiety

And that allows your thoughts to run rampant.

Those…

[matievusthemarvellous]

A succinct love

I look into your eyes And see the ups and downs I put you through, You look into mine and see the hell you dragged me through, To return each other to a new light.

  We have parted ways many times, Most of those times It was me that walked away from you

And still you took me back.

In the beginning We held our own chalice, Filled to the brim With our insecurities and our hurts

  Heavy in our hands

[matievusthemarvellous]

Once I loved myself in all my entirety, I was ready to let you love me

For years I chased An image of a love I thought I wanted My heart was the cause Because of a misleading need of affection.

Along the way it seemed My objective changed, Discovery of myself Now took center stage.

I found my worth, I found my desire, I found my voice And I liked it.

I came to see the beauty within, Beauty I knew was there But had no belief in its existence, Because I had no belief…

[matievusthemarvellous]

Your honey flavoured lips

Your honey flavoured lips

Your honey flavoured lips

Excite me,

In ways that

Cause every nerve in my body to explode,

  Explode with a sensation

That stimulates

My imagination,

  It runs rampant with the ways I wish to please you.

  Your lips

Are a gift

Given to me

By powers out of this world,

  What better way to show my appreciation

For allowing me to partake

Then by giving you the experience,

Of a few of my own talents.

[matievusthemarvellous]

Releasing my sanity

I feel it,

Irrational thoughts

That led to irrational actions

Taking me to self-doubt.

This spiral

Comes quickly,

It is repetitive

And the more it repeats itself

  The more it becomes

Apart of the person I am.

I begin to see the world

And everything in it

With cynical eyes.

Distrust is heavily coated

Around all who crossed my path

Making intimacy a fantasy once heard of.

Insecurity

Becomes the…

[matievusthemarvellous]

A body of many

A body of many

The naiveté

Of a belief

Can be an escape

From a reality

You struggle to overcome.

You may want to believe

That your struggle will take you

To a new and wonderful place,

Where you follow

A yellow brick road,

And at the end of it all

You slay your demon.

I know

I have wanted to believe that,

I forced myself

Into believing that, as my truth,

Now I can see

The harshness of the world,

I became…

[matievusthemarvellous]

River of souls

When you see a smile, A confident presence,

Asking yourself

Why can’t I be like you?

But if you look

Just a little harder,

You will see

You’re just like me.

  A river of souls,

Bright lights,

Shining in the dark of night in perfect unison

That’s what we are,

  Desperate

To stand out,

To keep a sense of

Individuality.

  It’s funny how,

The memory of pain

Has convenient times

It chooses to make…

[matievusthemarvellous]

Growth is like happiness, it is not dependent on another

Growth is like happiness, it is not dependent on another

In life people grow at

Different speeds,

Some find themselves at the end of their lives Wondering why they stopped at a certain point And why they lost the will to continue.

Then there are those, Who continuously seek new ways to grow In most aspects of their lives, But they lack the courage to take that leap to reach that final finish line.

The world is full Of these types of people Who grow at…

[matievusthemarvellous]

I am stronger and wiser

I am stronger and wiser

My eyes wide open I see my world clearer than ever, I am aware of every nerve in my body As I follow the messages my brain is sending out.

Get up! My brain lets out a stern bellow, Get up!! You remember how.

I feel the sensation of The muscles in my body move Individually and collectively Becoming stronger and firmer in its motion.

My shoulders move into position To support my arms that will lift…

[matievusthemarvellous]

Why I love you 

Do you know why I love you? I am going to tell you About the things that have happened to me Since you walked into my life.

It started with the way you look at me, You have become an anchor Keeping me grounded Because we know I have a habit of tackling rough waves.

I love when you hold my hand, Because the storm within me Soothes like waking up on a Sunday morning, The light streaming in gently…

[matievusthemarvellous]

The precipice of my sanity

The precipice of my sanity

I have been pushed, I have been manipulated, I have been abused Mentally and emotionally.

I have been taken advantage of, I have been broken down With each fall I took I picked myself up.

I tried to remember the strength I have had,

Kept deep inside

That is the reason I was able to lift back up

But this darkness seems to be a constant.

I seem to find the air so tight I cannot breath, Struggling…

[matievusthemarvellous]

Let us emancipate ourselves

Let us emancipate ourselves

Our situation Has become a destructive spirit, Its only purpose is to cause chaos And it has left me feeling dark and down.

No matter how hard I try To keep from using my tongue as a tool, To aid this dark in its quest for ruin It often gets control and does what it wants.

I can no longer do this, Going around and around in circles Of destructive behaviour Hoping for a different result each time,

[matievusthemarvellous]

Starting a new

It’s been a long And hard journey But now here I stand With defeated giants behind me.

  Every heartache Felt like it would last forever.

Every battle, Felt like it would be my last.

  There were times of darkness, That brought an archaic despondent despair.

There were also times of light, That brought a deep routed fulfillable happiness.

  Each failure Was like a knife plunging into my gut, But…

[matievusthemarvellous]

Paradoxically genuine

There are Facets of the characteristics That form the person you are That I always thought were misconstrued by the ‘general public.’

I defended those Darker shades With a loyalty I thought I would receive from you,

Not because I expected it,

Not because I asked for it

But because I earned it

Long conversations Intimate and enriching, Your observant curiosity Allowed for a sense of safety

And so…

[matievusthemarvellous]

You are not alone

You are not alone

You over there,

Why do you wonder these halls,

With your chin fixed to your chest?

  Why do you cover yourself in darkness?

Do you think that you are not worthy of the light?

The light in your eyes?

The light in your heart?

  This darkness is isolation.

You believe it’s your reality,

Because the monsters make you feel

That what makes you different is the darkness,

  But your difference

Is the…

[matievusthemarvellous]

From the tip of my tongue

How do you feel When the soft And the warm of my lips Kisses you ever so gently

On the base of your neck?

Do you feel Your body Going through the change Hot flushes and cold all at the same damn time

Merely from the thought Of my tongue Climbing up and down Your spine like a ladder?

Slow and steady, Cautious as not to miss a step.

Do you recall The sensation of Thousands of butterflies Fluttering…

[matievusthemarvellous]

My loneliness to me

Let me tell you What loneliness Feels like to me. I could take the time To come up With some Beautifully poetic Way to describe Something that I feel so deeply It feels like it is apart of me, Embedded In the core of my bones But that wouldn’t be real. I say that Because if I am honest There is no pretty way to describe This pain. So here’s what My loneliness is for me Failure. I feel like I have…