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“Two or three rooms” hoooooo my god Klaus PLAY ESME BOY PLAY HER

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please

klaus x duncan fanart

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I typed out all the text on the page, it’s under the readmore

THE SUGAR BOWL

“TEA SHOULD BE AS BITTER AS WORMWOOD, AND AS SHARP AS A TWO-EDGED SWORD

—OLD V.F.D. PROVERB

It is a truth universally acknowledged that volunteers prefer their tea as bitter as wormwood and as sharp as a two-edged sword, but few think to consider the true meaning behind that phrase. The uninitiated might assume that bitter tea means tea without sugar, but that [unreadable] all sugar is sweet, and all tea is bitter. In fact, there are many kinds of tea that are not bitter at all, but sweet and fruity, usually [unreadable] by a whimsically [unreadable] [unreadable] and a box with a picture of an adorable animal wearing pajamas. So it stands to reason that, if not all tea is bitter, then not all sugar is sweet. The question we might ask is: why would sugar be bitter? How would bitter sugar be created? And what greater purpose might bitter sugar serve?

from “Lousy Lane”, pg 673)

THE SCHISM

“LONG AGO IT WAS SIMPLE AND (cut off)

(continuing from a cut off)

other organizational hierarchies, there have been schisms to rip those hierarchies apart, and therefore instead of fixing one date for the schism, we may as well put a bracket around all of human history and say: There! Are you happy? However, there is one thing that all sources seem to agree on: there is a vital connection between the V.F.D. schism and the most important part of a tea set. No, not the tea  pot. (see “Sugar Bowl”, above)

Some people claim that the schism divided the V.F.D. cleanly in two, with one side devoted to starting fires, and the other devoted to putting them out. But of course, it is rare for anything to divide so neatly, with the exception of a particular sort of semi-soft cheese (see “Gorgonzola”, pg 401). No, it is far more likely (cut off)

(continuing from a cut off)

ment operating in the city, but two. Since so much about V.F.D. remain shrouded in mystery, including the circumstances of its creation, we can only speculate at the connection between the city’s official organization and its similarly-named counterpart. Some sources claim that the chief of the Official Fire Department was a close blood relation of a prominent member of V.F.D., though this fire chief has stubbornly refused to answer to any of our questions, on account of being deceased.

Finally, there is much debate regarding the exact cause of the schism. While most experts agree that it stemmed from what one might politely call “philosophical differences”, the truth is that these differences had been churning under the surface of V.F.D. for some time, even going back to the organization’s very name. After all, while one might assume the phrase “fire department” would obviously refer to an organization that puts out fires, thus protecting highly flammable literary materials, the phrase could just as easily refer to an organization that prefers to start fires and burn books (see “Bradbury, Ray”, pg 451). Still, let’s take a moment to theorize about the philosophical differences. Volunteers claim to be acting for the greater food, but philosophers who speak to the concept of moral relativity would be quick to point out that words such as “good”, “evil”, “delicious”, and “sandwich” can be ascribed different meanings, depending on the value system and dietary preferences of the (cut off)

Fig. 1—

The Lid

(See next page)

Secret Interlocking Mechanism

Fig. 2—

The Bowl

(See page after)

Mortmain Mountain

Clay

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honestly netflix automatically skipping the asoue theme is just plain rude

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also, the asoue netflix series highlights the most frustrating thing about the original books. every time olaf introduces himself in disguise JUST TACKLE HIM AND PULL HIS DISGUISE OFF THERES THREE OF YOU.

EVERYTHING gets fixed the second the adults see the unibrow and the eye tattoo. JUST DO THAT.

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Bauldelaires: The Quagmires are triplets.

VP Nero: Twins is what you call triplets when one of them burns to a crisp in a fire!

Me: 👀👀👀

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duncan: i can't find klaus anywhere

isadora: hold on i got this

isadora (cupping her mouth and yelling): VIOLET BAUDELAIRE ISN'T INTELLIGENT OR TALENTED

klaus (crashing through the window): MY SISTER CAN DO ANYTHING SHE PUTS HER MIND TO

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Sunny Baudelaire is iconic.

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~BTS Jungkook Lock screens~ :)

Like/Reblog if saved

 Please enjoy! 💜

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*looking in a mirror trying to practice self-love* ur doing great u stupid bitch

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i know i’m cute but you can remind me

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Now that Toys R Us is closing, kids watching Toy Story 2 in the future will probably wonder why such a wonderful toy store like Al’s Toy Barn doesn’t exist in real life.

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Ginny: Hermione, would you do me the honor of becoming my sister-in-law?

Ron: Did you just propose to her FOR ME?

Ginny: Someone had to do it, Ronald!

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Harry: Okay, I’m gonna go duel Malfoy.

Ron: But you’re not armed!

Harry: I am!

Ron: With what?

Harry: Overconfidence.

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Hermione: And if you see Ron, give him this message.

Hermione: *makes a neutral face*

Hermione: He’ll know what it means.

[later]

Harry: Oh, and Hermione said to give you a message.

Harry: *makes a neutral face*

Ron: Oh no. The neutral face of displeasure.