matpath

[matpath]

At the same time I was unpacking trauma from my chilchood, I discovered the game Alice madness returns where Cheshire says the following: “ Forgetting pain is convenient. Remembering it, agonizing. But recovering the truth is worth the suffering.”

It helped a lot through the difficult time of it , cos unpacking was essential for going forward with my life in general and I’m glad that i did it but it was met with really strong emotions . So it’s hard and if done correctly worth it but now I’m not scared anymore to talk to men so yeah 😅

Something that no one ever told me plainly way back when is that the process of unpacking my abuse history meant feeling a lotttttttt worse before I could get to the place of healing and eventually feeling better.

Things from my childhood I had tidily locked away in the darkest recesses of mind had to excavated and brought into the light to be poked at and understood. Locking them away was (in the short run) easier and necessary for my survival but it was dangerous and detrimental to leave them unexamined too long.

I had to first admit to myself what had really happened. I had to be an adult who now loves the children in my family and wants to protect them at all costs to fully GET how one of my parents failed me and the other actively hurt me when I was my most small and vulnerable. Acknowledging that SUCKS. Naming that those who you love have gravely harmed you SUCKS.

But the temporary pain was all so worth it now that I’m 10+ years into my healing journey. I didn’t want to be the kind of adult who could live with all those truths unseen and festering inside me. The potential damage I could have done to myself and others in an unhealed state was too much.

The happiness I’ve found in life now is all the reward I need for the hard work I’ve done. It’s a level of happiness I didn’t even know was possible 20 years ago. If any of this resonates that I’ve said here with you too, I promise you can also find your own happiness too ❤️

Yes. It gets harder before it gets better. But it get sooo much better and you can do hard things.

[matpath]

[matpath]

[matpath]

[matpath]

[matpath]

Shiori Eda (Japanese, b. 1983), Inseki, 2019. Oil on canvas, 150 x 150 cm.

[matpath]

HUGE list of free (!!) books by black authors and revolutionaries. includes writings by toni morrison, james baldwin, assata shakur, angela davis, malcolm x, audre lorde and frantz fanon. 

[matpath]

[matpath]

[matpath]

[matpath]

#lake #lemanlake #cloudyview (à Lausanne Ouchy - Embarcadère N2 - Lausanne/Thonon Les Bains) https://www.instagram.com/p/Buk2hhzhyPL/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=lg28z2busvk8

[matpath]

#afternoonview #museum #fondationdelhermitage #lausanne (à Fondation de l'Hermitage) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt1EQCaHjlt/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=h28mvmhhbn4j

[matpath]

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Matthias Huber (@matpath)

#lake #birds (à Lausanne, Switzerland) https://www.instagram.com/p/BsNOVKpgfXP/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=11gmr44lxcbnw

[matpath]

#lemanlake #lake #lacleman #sunset (à Ouchy - Vidy) https://www.instagram.com/p/BsMAkPNBYEG/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1r1o8668x17q2

[matpath]

#cloudporn #lake #lacleman (à Lausanne, Switzerland) https://www.instagram.com/p/BrOOIGzhPdL/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=19vqn49ru32xl

[matpath]

Public disrespect and private apologies don’t mix.

[matpath]

a scientist and an icon