matsumayhem

[matsumayhem]

👁👄👁 match up?? i'm a transboy, asexual and panromantic, i'm literally a piece of shit that can't stand still for a few minutes, I cry for anything and I have trouble concentrating, i'm very excited with my friends but when i'm with other people i'm an embarrassed mess. I like to practice expressive dance and read BL, i also like to go to events, like shows and parties. Sorry to waste your time :(( take care! ❤

Not a waste of time at all! All we have is time after all! <3 

I’ll match you up with Jyushimatsu! The sunshine boy will liven up your day and will be able to keep up with you when you’re on the move or dancing your heart out. He’s a NEET so as much as he likes to socialize, he also likes to stay home and be a crazy mess too. He’ll wipe away your tears and make you smile; someone who can turn your life around, bring you up when you’re feeling down ((Bryan Adams - Heaven 1984 lmao)) Love is all that we need and Jyushimatsu is a big loveable mess. Enjoy! 

[matsumayhem]

hi !! i was wondering if you could do a match up please 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 ? i’m 5’6 and kinda squishy but kinda muscular in a way lol i act like a crackhead big time, but also chill at the same time. my friends call me the “basic” or default friend bc i’m the base of how everyone acts in my friend group ig :’D i also crack the dirtiest jokes, especially “that’s what she said” :’) if you got a cool cat rat ta tat match up for me i will be blessed! *virtual hugs*

I diagnose you with Ichimatsu! Ichimatsu would love to just hang out with you and make dirty jokes or comments with you. You could be the silly and outlandish one and Ichimatsu would be there to crack a sardonic comment and bring you back to reality. But he’d always be there to cheer you up with something simple like your favorite food, or a cat. Or six cats, cause let’s be honest he knows a lot of cats.

[matsumayhem]

Hi! Can I get a match up? I’m a Pisces and I’m a very patient and a gentle persona when you first meet me. I’m artistic and I’m always called the “mom” friend in school. Although putting this harmless and good role made façade, I love horror movies and a sadist and a masochist. I love gore and love intense music and shows. I love murder documentaries as well lol. Well, despite them being contradicting, I describe myself as complex/mysterious overall.

I am diagnosing you with Totty! Your nurturing nature would suit him just fine, and you could cuddle up together and watch scary movies and delight in his frightened squeaks and calm him down. He’d always find you intriguing and you’d never tire of his masochistic tendencies. 

[matsumayhem]

Matsus with S/O who doesn’t want kids

Matsus with s/o who doesn’t want kids:

S/O: And so, taking these factors into consideration, I think its best that we don’t have children.

Osomatsu: “Hn? –smirks- Were you really thinking so hard about that? Don’t sweat it, you can just take care of me. I’ll be your baby, y/n. –smoochy lips- Plus think of how much money we’ll save! Babies are hella expensive. Plus, I have five brothers, and I know we’re all NEETs but the odds have to be that one of them will give our parents grandchildren. Don’t worry, my brothers will take care of it for us! Now come on. Make me a sandwich <3”

S/O: And so, taking these factors into consideration, I think its best that we don’t have children.

Karamatsu: “Eh? My serene dove! Are you sure? Don’t tell me you’ve been talking to my brothers. We NEETs may not have the best financial prospects, but money doesn’t equal happiness, non non. The true meaning of love is to share that love with your parents in the form of grandchildren. And not to worry my angel. I will be the most nurturing and protective and mature father that ever lived. I’ve not learned nothing from my father; I will make sure you and our baby have everything you could ever desire! My dazzling dragonfly! I promise! I will be the best father and our children will grow up to be governors! No, Prime Ministers! No, Hedgefund Managers! Yes! And they will be able to provide for us in our old age, and we shall live out the rest of our days in the countryside, where I will serenade you for eternity, dearest puppy…”*rambles on for 5k more years*

S/O: And so, taking these factors into consideration, I think its best that we don’t have children.

Choromatsu: ‘Ehhhhhhh?!?? Wh-wh-what!?!?!? No! Shit! Okay, calm down Choromatsu! They said they don’t want to have kids now, but maybe they’ll change their mind. Maybe you can change their mind! Yeah, that’s it! Now, what have you been slacking on lately? I didn’t take the garbage out the other night….no, no, no. Something bigger. Did they get there last night…..SHIT! WAS THAT IT?!? OKAY! RELAX CHOROMATSU! All you have to do, is step it up in the bedroom. Yeah, that’s it. Okay. You have to answer them, you idiot! Okay deep breath and….FUCK WHAT ABOUT MOM!? I promised mom I would give her a grandchild! I mean, I’ve moved out now but what if she decides to disown me, or worse, won’t take me in if I mess it up with y/n? She’ll be so upset and there’s no way I’m staying with one of my brothers’ and their girlfriends. I can’t I can’t I can’t. Okay, panicking isn’t helping anything Chioromatsu. Breathe. Answer them…..’ Choromatsu took a deep breath, looking y/n right in the eyes. He’d broken into a cold sweat and was trembling a little bit. He looked like he was about to meet the grim reaper. After a few more dreadfully pregnant pauses, he said, “Come on, now, I think you’re overreacting. You should consult me first before making such a decision on your own. Think about my feelings! Come on, sit down, and let’s consider everything. Surely there must be something you haven’t considered…”

S/O: And so, taking these factors into consideration, I think its best that we don’t have children.

Ichimatsu: -blank stare- “What? Why so serious? Relax, it’s not like I really care about something like children. They’re loud and greedy, and absolutely arrogant. Besides, cats are so much better.” He smiled, stroking the cat in his lap. “Besides, you woudn’t want to have a child with me. It would probably grow up to be a monster. With my terrible social skills, not to mention lack of parental instincts, we’d probably end up killing the poor creature before it even had a chance. I mean, really, what were you thinking? Seriously; raising a child with me? I thought you were smarter than that. Idiot. All we need is each other. And cats. Now, come here,” –smoochy lips-

S/O: And so, taking these factors into consideration, I think its best that we don’t have children.

Jyushimatsu: “Ah….Hahaha! Kids?! No, no, we’re definitely not ready for that. The thought honestly….scares me, too, so I’m glad we agree in that area. Haha! What a relief.” Jyushimatsu beamed at y/n. He was very good at hiding how he was truly feeling, that was Jyushimatsu. Ever the enigma. But there was something about what he’d said and the look in his eyes now. It seemed a bit, melancholic. Y/n asked him if he was truly okay with their decision. Jyushimatsu stopped setting the table for dinner and stared at the table for a long while, before his mouth slowly closed and a frown began to appear. Y/n was startled to say the least, looking at their boyfriend’s usually sunshine and cheery face, now marred with a frown. He sighed softly and reached for y/n’s hand. The warm sweater sleeve pressed between them, y/n/ felt a little calmer. “I won’t….I can’t lie to you, y/n. I….I love you. And I want you to make the right decision for you. I support you, regardless of what you decide. The idea of kids scares me….but….it also makes me sad. The thought of, not having kids. That’s totally nonsense, those feelings don’t mix well!” He laughed at himself, his other sleeve rubbing the back of his head. “But the thought of you, raising our child; me helping to raise our child,” he self-corrected quickly, “that thought fills me with a lot of happiness, too! The kind of mega ultra high speed Home Run 5000 kind of happiness!” He shouted, and y/n relaxed with a smile, pressing his hand more firmly in theirs. “Maybe not now, but someday, we could try it. Maybe we should practice first! I’ll go get a baby crocodile, they’re almost like children! Be right back!” –bolts out of the house-

S/O: And so, taking these factors into consideration, I think its best that we don’t have children.

Totty: “Hm? Oh hoh, I’m glad you came to the same conclusion. I don’t want children either. There’s no way I would want to be a dad.  Babies are expensive and terrible. Besides, I have five older brothers and one of them is bound to knock someone up or attempt a kidnapping. And Choromatsu-nii-san already promised mom a grandchild, so we’re saved. Anyway, it doesn’t matter because I’m all the baby you need, right, y/n? Take care of me forever, and I promise I’ll take care of you forever…” –suggestive look with wandering hands-

Hope you guys liked it! This was plus ultra fun to write :3

[matsumayhem]

Hey! Match up please? 5ft.4, brown hair with pink ends and blue eyes. I play a lot of video games, but also like to go out. I love playing volleyball too! I always try to make sure all of my friends are happy. I love them too much. :') I'm an Aquarius and im too energetic. Thanks!

I diagnose you with Jyushimatsu!!! He’d love to play volleyball with you and he’ll make sure you’re making sure you’re happy as well as your friends! Hopefully he has enough energy to keep up with you!!

[matsumayhem]

I'm humbly asking for a matchup cause my friend keeps asking me to join them here. Also I'm living for your Animal Crossing x The Boys post 💙 Uh, I'm a little awkward so sorry ^^;; My pronouns are she/her, my star sign is Cancer, my personality is INFP-T and I'm pan. I love me some cats, but I'm also quite often singing stuff from musicals and knitting a different scarf every other week. Not cause I finish one, but I keep staring new ones cause I find cute wool and I have no impulse control.

Sure thing! Welcome to the page! I match you wiiiiith Choromatsu! This boy is a little bit awkward himself and he would 100% be your impulse control!

[matsumayhem]

Back flips up from the grave. Hey any of ya’ll play animal crossing? My friend code is: SW-5409-3119-9401

[matsumayhem]

The Boys™ and Animal Crossing.

Because I have a problem ok??????

Osomatsu: - Saw Ichimatsu stare at advertisement and immedietly started saving up money. It’s not like Ichimatsu to want anything. - I’m sorry did I say saving money? I mean stealing his brothers to win enough at pachinko. He did. - Played it off as if he was the one who wanted it but tends to let his brothers play it more than he plays it himself. Karamatsu: - He’s still wearing that stupid jacket and sunglasses in game of course. - He’s overly bearing and always trying to help his brothers with their islands. -Has a section for free items and it’s all versions of his outfits in game unless you wanna dress like him. No one does. - No one has him added as a best friend. Choromatsu: - He acts as if he’s too old for animal crossing but he secretly LOVES It -He’s very particular about his island and doesn’t invite over other often -He secretly has a crush on one of the villagers.

Ichimatsu: - Secretly the one who wanted the game the most but won’t admit it. -Find’s it seriously relaxing, and he thinks the villagers are cute! -If you’re lucky enough to catch a glimpse of him playing you might even see a contented smile!

Jyushimatsu: - His villager IS him. Don’t ask. - He’s able to speak villager. ALSO DON’T ASK. - Keeps a room full of tarantula’s just “in case he needs them”. I’m begging you at this point DO NOT ASK HIM. -He’s also super helpful and would share any and ALL resources if anyone asked!  - A good? boy.

Todomatsu: - He LOVES the fashion aspect of the game.  -Both him and his villagers are super cute and well dressed. - He only recruits the ones he thinks are cute. - Very stingy and WILL swipe your fruit and flowers if left unattended.

[matsumayhem]

(Sprints from the darkness to the inbox) yo pal, my dude, love of life I'm on my knees please can I have a matchup?? I'm a libra, my personality is INFJ-T, use she/her pronouns, my sexuality is pretty much whatever at this point. I much prefer telling people how I feel rather then using affection, I get far too embarrassed if someone even holds my hand. I love watching any horror related. I'm pretty laid back and go with the flow. Thank you for taking the time to read this, have a chill day!

Horror? Telling people straight in stead of attention? Who else could I match you with but Ichimatsu! He’s not the most affectionate person ever, and needs someone that can also respect his boundaries! Also? Horror movie marathons. 

[matsumayhem]

*yelling into the darkness* THE INBOX IS OPEN FOR MATCH UPS AND REQUESTS.

[matsumayhem]

eyes emoji, match ups? bet. i'm 5 ft with dyed black and blonde hair. According to my coworkers, I'm sweet, quiet, a hard worker, and innocent. My friends would say the same, but I'm an actual dumbass with crackhead energy. I also get easily flustered even though I make shitty sexual jokes all of the time. I enjoy drawing and playing video games. Hope it was enough!! :" D

I’’m getting super strong Osomatsu vibes here! Imagine making a sexual joke to Osomatsu and he just SMIRKS and says one straight back making you a flustered mess. 10/10 he would adore you.

[matsumayhem]

do you accept requests from au's? (like fujio rock, yokai!matsus, akuma riders......) oseublogéincrívelefazeurealmentepassarmuitotempoaquinotumblr,euteamo • (please don't try to understand what i wrote, it's just me talking like i love your blog in my native language)

It all depends on what me and the other mod have seen or read! I looove AU’s but some are easier to write than others ya know?

[matsumayhem]

This is the first time I’m opening my laptop in months and it’s to write porn.

[matsumayhem]

*yelling into the darkness* THE INBOX IS OPEN FOR MATCH UPS AND REQUESTS.

[matsumayhem]

Imagine Karamatsu sitting outside your window at 2am with his guitar, serenading you with a love song he wrote specifically for you.  

[matsumayhem]

Back flips up from the grave. Hey any of ya’ll play animal crossing? My friend code is: SW-5409-3119-9401

[matsumayhem]

I think I’m gonna take a look through the inbox and start cracking a few suggestions out since I’m in quarantine.