mattywarrior

[mattywarrior]

Red-Whiskered Bulbul

[mattywarrior]

[mattywarrior]

pas pareil

[mattywarrior]

[mattywarrior]

[mattywarrior]

2. Healing

Getting up out of bed to retrieve this journal was a bad idea. It’s been a few hours and a long sleep since Edalene left me to my own care. The pain meds have been doing their job. Been keeping the wound as clean as I can. Walking is a chore that I do not relish, but I must needs get out of here before the next dawn. I’d like one night in my own bed, though it’s been a long time since I’ve been home. The apartment is usually dusty but the dust might’ve come alive at this point. I’ll take a dagger to anything that prevents me from sleeping comfortably.

I have had no luck keeping her out from under my skin. She’s nestled in and I feel compelled to know more of her. I don’t know if this is a healthy fixation. Probably not since she has no idea just how much I think about her…

The ocean air will do me good. Might expose the wound to the open air for awhile. Try to get some of that salt to seal it up. Hells, that might not be the best idea. It’s already going to scar. Not that I mind at all. Builds character.

Going to  have to get Frances to patch up my armor again. He’s not going to be happy, considering this is the second time in less than six months that I’ve needed a repair. My gloves are also pretty beaten up. He doesn’t like the tedious jobs very much. It’s bad enough I have good quality armor, ha!

I hope this heals swiftly. As it stands, I’m going to order some food just as soon as I can muster the energy to walk to the front desk. That will be a journey and a half.

@edalene-slater-ffxiv mentions))

[mattywarrior]

[mattywarrior]

[mattywarrior]

I fought not only as one not afraid of death, but one who seeks it, battle-mad.

— A. E. STALLINGS ⚜️ Like: Poems, (2018)

[mattywarrior]

Heart of steel, […] will of iron.

— A. E. STALLINGS ⚜️ Like: Poems, (2018)

[mattywarrior]

[mattywarrior]

[mattywarrior]

[mattywarrior]

All I Can Think About...

Matt waited until the door clicked shut before he sprang into real action. Movement took over thought and he made up the bed that they had been lying in shortly before his stupidity had once again gotten the better of him. He tugged and pulled with a bit too much force, his thoughts going over the encounter again and again. He cringed as he threw the pillow down too hard and feathers came flying out of it. A dark look came over  his features and he took a couple of steps away from the bed, breathing coming hard. He moved hair away from his face and turned on the side cabinet, where the remains of a meal lay untouched. He grabbed a wine glass and hurled it at the wall, listening with slim satisfaction as the glass shattered into pieces.

He thought about lobbing the other glass and the wine bottle itself, but remembered that he would have to clean up the mess himself. Matt growled under his breath, several creative swears coming out. He moved back to the bed and sat on the edge, holding his head between his hands. He felt at odds with himself. How…HOW was he so attached already? They had clearly agreed to simple terms. Clearly agreed that Friends was the first bit that mattered and he had fucked up royally. And now all he could think about were things surrounding her, the woman herself and the shit he spewed forth from his stupid mouth.

Laying back, the Warrior let his thoughts roost for a spell. He had long since learned that to fight his inner monologue led to greater stress. As he stared up at the ceiling, he searched for a reason as to why he had grown an attachment to the fiery, closed-off pirate. Pirate? Was that what she was? Information broker more like it. Matt shook his head. Not the point of this travel into madness. Ah yes…

Was it that she reminded him of Layla? No. He wouldn’t be one of those sorts, to weigh down a lover or friend with benefits with that sort of melarkie. She was just…her. And that was the rub of it, wasn’t it? At heart, he was still just a boy looking for the approval of his betters. Matt knew that thought would only lead to more of the self-deprecation she hated so much.

He was right about one thing. It was going to take an age to gain this one’s trust. Not just as a friend, but as another living soul who had too much hurt and too little to know what to do with it.

@edalene-slater-ffxiv

[mattywarrior]

[mattywarrior]

You hear it in the trees at night — a snapping branch, a sigh.

[mattywarrior]