mauzu-below - Tumblr blog

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holy shit i forgot this existed... i wonder if anyone check their blogs any more

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i forgot this blog existed until i was trying to fall asleep (currently) and remembered everything i wonder if any of yall are still out there

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might be away for a bit, i'm caretaking for someone special to me that had a surgery. may nelo visit your dreams!

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How To Feel Angelic (boys edition)

I notice a big lack of posts like these. Of course any boy can enjoy any feminine things and still be super valid!! But personally, as a trans boy, I get dysphoria when I do anything that’s seen as feminine in my society. So here’s a list of angelic things for boys!

-Take a cool (but not cold) bath. Being in the water can help you feel weightless, like you’re flying. Also, having the water be cool instead of hot helps me feel like I’m high up in the atmosphere, but that’s a personal preference that you don’t have to go by. If you use essential oils, you can find a mix of scents that remind you of your home in the skies. I also find that lying in the water helps me feel my wings without feeling like they’re being crushed. And of course the feeling of being clean for the rest of the day/night really can’t be beat!

-Use almond extract in a sweet recipe. Find a recipe that uses honey and vanilla especially! All you have to do is replace any vanilla extract with almond extract. Almond extract has a very unique flavour that I personally find reminds me of food I had in my past life. 

-Wear white, gold, and silver. I like wearing button ups especially. If you know how to sew, get yourself some silver or gold buttons and replace the buttons on one shirt! It’ll look interesting and angelic and I love it. Wearing one small bracelet can look androgynous as well, and chain necklaces with some kind of magickal stone under your shirt is an option for any wiccan angels out there as well!

-Listen to calm or meditative music. What you find is really up to you, but personally I really like Weightless by Marconi Union, which is supposedly the most relaxing song known to man. You can also search for meditation music.

-Take care of your pet if you have one. I think this one is actually really underrated. This one makes me feel like I’m still working as a guardian angel, as I look after this creature and make sure it has the best life it can have. Take your dog for a walk and appreciate the surroundings. Add plants to your fish tank and create their environment for them. Give your pet treats and make them happy! Watch the pure joy, and feel how much it lifts you! It’s truly a wonderful feeling.

-Go to the nearest park. You don’t really have to do anything there, just touch the grass and watch people walk their dogs. Listen to music if you want. Watch the clouds and remember what it’s like to be there.

-Sing. Even if you’re not as good at it now, just hum anything that comes to mind and feel your voice move. Get carried away and belt the exact same chorus over and over, even if you don’t know the lyrics, just let yourself go and go and go!

-Paint wings on your wall. If you can’t paint your wall, then get some really big paper and paint wings on the paper. Put the wings on your wall and take photos in front of them, and it will really look like you have those wings. It takes a lot of effort, but it really helps me feel good when I think I’m losing touch with myself.

Feel free to add more!

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my nightmares have gotten a bit hectic. i hope it's not a sign.

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i worry too much to reach out, although it might be what i should be doing. i don't know what to do.

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last night's nightmare was.. something.

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i'm not sure where everyone went, but i'm here for you regardless.

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angel-things from last summer. I like the idea of wings as disadvantageous/nonfunctional limbs. they probably just cause a lot of back pain.

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♱ ℑ 𝔡𝔬𝔫'𝔱 𝔴𝔞𝔫𝔫𝔞 𝔴𝔞𝔨𝔢 𝔦𝔱 𝔲𝔭, 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔡𝔢𝔳𝔦𝔩 𝔦𝔫 𝔪𝔢 ♱

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Many other followers have created self-portraits, and I figured it was about time I do the same.

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You can get drunk on holy water, you know. You can get pearl tipped spears, oceans of milk and honey deep enough to drown in. There are litanies of soft roses, of adorations, of creamy paintings and ancient cathedrals. Up in the clouds. But there are battle cries in heaven, too. Ripples of golden thunder, ichor stained hands. Places where they cry, It takes extreme bravery to love, to give up ones heart. It is a dangerous thing, to be good. The windows overflow in rosemary. The sky blushes peach. But when twilight falls in heaven, oh that’s when the stars blaze. That’s when they beat their marble wings, letting off earthquakes of light.

Get this: Angels can be warriors too.

- J. A. Hurd / angelitany

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there's still much to worry about.

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wow! last night's dream was so incredibly personal and vivd, part of me wonders if it wasn't a dream, but rather being spoken to directly. it felt too personal to just be something my mind came up with.