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Have you ever been to the emergency room? What for?

When I was 19, I was shot in the shoulder while working at Beachside Icecream.

I don’t think I ever fully recovered.

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What was your favorite cartoon?

Easy. 

Batman:The Animated Series. 

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What is your favorite day of the week?

Is it weird if I say Thursday? It’s my one constant day off every week so it’s usually the day I can get the most accomplished.

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doveportkitty‌:

The bar could be a breeding ground for Kardashians and I’d still manage to get your attention, it’s my thing. 

But I’m also there like every other day, so I could go for a change of pace. Umm, I mean, I don’t completely see the appeal of dogs, but I’ve also tried to avoid them my whole life so… who knows, maybe your ball of fluff will be the one that’s actually tolerable? I won’t hold my breath, but if Trump can hold the presidential seat for this long, nothing is out of the realms of possibility. The roommates I’m totes good with though, they can talk back, and I’m delightful — I have that in the bag.  

You seem quite certain of that. 

He’s pretty well trained, so if he doesn’t suit your fancy he wouldn’t be completely upset if I let him go at a bone in the bedroom. My dog that is, not Trump. 

Honestly, Blaine and I have such different schedules that we’re hardly there at the same time, so he might not even be around. Just depends on when you’re thinking about coming around.

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laydhummel‌:

i’ll never understand why people are so rude!

Way of the world, I guess.

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doveportsammy‌:

Always happy to be of service.

Well,for starters, you work too much. But that’s nothing new. Football season is always a little crazy though for me. Maybe we can grab drinks though on your next day off?

Me, work too much? C’mon man, you know if I had the energy I’d pick up a third job. I’m getting too old even for this two job life.

I can imagine, what with practices and games and all. Drinks sounds good though, I’m off on Thursday?

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asherpucks‌:

Don’t act like tipping is some treat for us, dude. It should be mandatory, it’s how employers get away with paying less than minimum wage, and people still treat it like it’s an option. Tipping someone shouldn’t be like you’re doing them a favor. 

I never said that tipping is some sort of treat, but I’d rather not step on a soap box to declare what should already be obvious. Even if tipping wasn’t mandatory, an actual livable wage would be nice. Maybe then some of us wouldn’t have to work two jobs to cover our rent.

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 doveportblaine‌:

I’m not convinced they’re real people, and not just special effects to sell floor seats. I mean, I can’t help but fidget standing next to Finn, seven feet tall is just – man. Ohhhh, is that what that was for? I thought he was being puppy shamed for something, I hate that he was actually hurt. I’ll give him extra head scratches as an apology.

Plausible deniability, with a side of ‘kids these days’. Here’s hoping she’s not looking for a new coffee shop, too!

Oh my god, if you give it to me straight I will be on the floor before you can say ‘bottoms up’. Probably singing to the ceiling at the top of my lungs. (But dammit, I will be on pitch.)

You’re telling me that you believe half of the NBA are holograms? That Lebron didn’t score an average of 27 points per game? You are absolutely insane. At what height do people just not exist and become these holograms? Finn’s got a few inches on me, so I’m sure you get a crick in your neck anytime you have a conversation with him.

Puppy shamed? God, no. I should’ve been shamed for not cleaning up the kitchen properly after breaking so many bottles. I felt awful for weeks while the poor guy had his cone of shame. Head scratches, nice. Pulling out the big guns. He’s going to be glued to your side for the whole night.

So, I ask again, what’s your preferred chaser? Soda? Juice?

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nate-smythe‌:

I hate people. I’ve never had to work in an establishment like that, but I always make sure to tip at least 18% because I’m not an asshole. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. Old people are douchebags.

No worries, man. You’re in the minority, to be honest. Most people leave between a 8-12% tip.  I should be accustom to it by now;  there’s just some people that thrive on finding new ways to make service workers lives a living hell. 

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doveportmaddie‌:

I am actually the worst I know.

And god forbid you don’t give them the perfect experience to fix all their problems, right?

God forbid. I get that work can be stressful and all, but they don’t have to treat others like shit in order to feel better about their week. 

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doveportsammy‌:

Hate that for you. I’ll have to come by and crash one of your tables soon. So you can always remember what a good customer is like.

Sam Evans, model customer. All future patrons, please take note.

Honestly, It’d be great seeing you again. It’s been awhile.

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doveportmaddie‌:

Your guess is as good as mine, but they requested a stemless bouquet. When I tried to clarify what they actually wanted, they told me I was incompetent and stormed out. The joys of customer service.

I think that’s why I avoid Friday nights out a lot. Everything’s busy, lots of cranky people with no patience.

How dare you have no idea how to do your job? What a disgrace.

You’re not wrong. All of the Monday-Friday workers come in and treat us like chumps because they’ve had a ‘stressful week’. 

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doveportblaine‌:

It’s because you’re so tall. I imagine the air up there is thinner, and makes hand-eye dexterity on new tasks just a little bit more challenging. (Plato’s okay, though, right? How did I miss that?)

Even odds that she went in because her grandkids said it was a great place and she wanted to check it out. That might explain the judginess, at least?

I’m absolutely that much of a lightweight. And if you’re okay with my lack of filter and disregard for personal space – bring it on.

Have you seen how tall Shaq is? Giannis Antetokounmpo? Your argument is invalid because all of these 7ft beasts of men are insane basketball players. Besides, I’m only a few inches taller than you. Plato’s fine, he’s been fine. There’s no way you missed when he had a giant cone around his neck.

Oh damn, that would make an incredible amount of sense. I can imagine her next time her grandkids see her and she says, 'I went to that restaurant you told me about. The service was awful and the food was subpar’. My eyes are rolling so far back into my skull right now.

Preference in chaser? Or are you a take it straight kind of guy? 

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What scares you more than anything?

The thought that my mother’s cancer could return at any given point in time. She’s been in remission for 10 years now, but it’s still a possibility. 

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doveportkitty‌:

You know, I’ll totally accept that tweak. Will pass it onto Jesus a-sap. 

I mean, I was prepared to steal your attention away from all the other patrons in the bar, but I’m down for drinking pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. 

… or alternatively, finding somewhere with a blender and no rain at all. And just in case it’s completely slipped your mind who you’re talking to, I’m always free for margaritas.  

I’m sure that wouldn’t be very hard for you -- getting my attention. Bank Bar isn’t exactly known for it’s enthralling clientele.

I mean, you can come to the bar if you want. Otherwise, I’m sure we could find a spot that would work alternatively, if you don’t mind dogs and roommates.

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doveportblaine‌:

I’m definitely a little bit of a perfectionist. I’ve also heard it pronounced ‘control freak’. I have, and that would be why I’ve gotten into the habit of wearing socks at all times – but it looks cool at the bar, right? Worth it.

Ohhhh, one of those customers. The ones where you just smile wider and call her ‘ma’am’ just a little bit more carefully.

I mean, I wouldn’t be opposed, but you’re the one who’d have to deal with a drunk version of me afterwards, and – well. You don’t seem like that much of a hugger.

You said it, buddy, not me. Hey now, you make it sound like I’m clumsy all the time. There was a short 4 week period that I had made a giant fool of myself in our apartment, but I can guarantee you that there isn’t any glass on the kitchen floor. At least not since I had to take Plato to the vet for the small shard that I had missed that went into his paw.

Yes, Blaine, one of those customers. I’m honestly surprised that she didn’t make an inappropriate comment or get herself kicked out of the bar. What she was doing there in the first place, I’ll never understand.

You’re that much of a lightweight, huh? I can’t say that I’d be thrilled with the hugging, but my will to prove my point is outweighing the possible consequences of my actions. If you’re in, I’m in.