maxmakkaroni-blog

[maxmakkaroni-blog]

Me and fandom

In almost all of my 23 years, I can’t remember not being a fan of something. As the youngest one in my family I grew up with 2 cousins and my sister, all at least 4 years older than me. Growing up in rural Bavaria, my cousins introduced me to fandom before I could even talk properly, as they plastered everything in their rooms and themselves with merchandise of soccer clubs they loved. So, it is funny enough that I never even started to care about a single soccer club, other than my 5-year-old me assuring them that I was in love with Bavaria Munich in order not to get a wedgie. However, when I was old enough, I was allowed to tend for their neglected video game consoles for a limited time whenever I was over, which is the first time I really understood what fandom actually meant. Both cousins had games for the Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater franchise, games that focus on displaying semi-realistic skateboarding action with real-life brands, skaters and locations. The first time I was exposed to this type of media I became obsessed with it. I would call my mother over to read me the names of the skaters and levels, I started to recognize the brands in the game in real life, I wanted my cousins to tell me about this Tony Hawk guy. I even wished for an actual skateboard, a hobby that I still casually but passionately perform to this day even going to contests to see some of my heroes of the sport. This must have been in late 2000 however, so researching on the internet was not a real possibility, plus I was barely literate enough to write my own name. Luckily enough, some of my friends also started to get into video games via their older brothers etc., so there soon was a small community around video games, small in every sense of the word. It was mostly me and my friend Peter, who came from an even lower income family than myself and unlike me he was allowed to basically play video games all day, every day, so we used to sit in front of a television for hours, playing all sorts of video games and eating chunk food. For a long while skateboarding and video games of all sorts were my obsession. Franchises like the Tony Hawk’s games, Metal Gear Solid, Fallout, Need for Speed and many more were part of my daily life. As soon as the internet became more accessible and I was smart enough to wrap my head around it, I would watch videos about these games via pages like YouTube and spend a lot of time finding out more about my favorite skateboarders. While watching a compilation of the video game Skate 2, I found my new obsession, which was going to be music.

Though at this point the band that was playing in the video is merely a nostalgic guilty pleasure, Korn turned me into a full-blown music fan. No one in my family was ever even interested in music despite liking something that may have been on the radio, but this band had really touched me in a completely new way. I would get every album, watch every interview, learn about their instruments, analyze all their lyrics, buy their merch with my pocket money and generally annoy everyone out of their mind with this band. Oddly enough no one around me seemed to like the band all that much, but a lot of the community that came with it for me was on the internet anyway. As much as I don’t care for the band now, I’m still more than grateful to this band as they were the reason why I picked up the bass guitar and started making music, which is to this day still the biggest joy in my life. The pattern of passionately plunging into fan communities also established here. Even today, whenever I find bands, fictional universes, authors or anything else that tickles me in a certain way, I tend to immerse myself completely. For fictional universes I usually lose myself in endless reads on wiki pages about the happenings and characters of whatever I am into, trying to know absolutely everything about this universe, whether it is Harry Potter, Fallout or Elite. Being part of the fan communities is also a big part of enjoying the experience. For me, Reddit and YouTube are the places where I have the most interaction with other community members. Whether it is a discussion over lore on r/falloutlore or comments on a video about the latest patch of Elite Dangerous, I always seem to find time to stay in contact with people I will probably never meet, but have the same passion about fiction that I have. As far as fan fiction goes, by far the most contact I had, is with a more unusual approach to fan fiction, which is modding. Modding means modifying existing video games and adding new user generated content for others to enjoy. This can mean everything from improving graphics and mechanics of games, to using the game engine as a foundation for expanding the story, which is what I was always interested in. I consider this fan fiction in video games. Fans of a franchise take the existing narrative and either fill the holes or add more to it, all the while creating their own virtual places with new characters to interact with. For me, the games that I adored the most for this were the Fallout games, as they actively encouraged modding with every part of it. They are open world role playing games in a futuristic post-apocalyptic setting that still has a foot in 1950s America, that allow the players to go about the story at their own pace, making it easy for modders to easily add more and more without interrupting the pacing of the story. The mod community of these games are still as active as when they were brand new.

As far as my fandom in music is concerned, everything is a lot more personal and therefore much harder to describe. For me, the music that I listen to and the musicians I obsess over seem to always seems to reflect where I am in life. Not to say that I inevitably tend to lose interest in all the music I listen to at some point, there are certainly constants. Artists and bands like Mark Kozelek, Neil Young, Sufjan Stevens, Mr. Bungle and many more are always in my rotation of music that I love. Listening to music is also not the only way I enjoy it. Like already mentioned, I like to get to know the people behind the music, analyze the lyrics, learn the songs on my instruments, find out more about their gear, their creative process and pretty much everything around the music itself. Though it may not seem like it, I am a very different fan of music than I am a fan of all kinds of fiction. For one, the community aspect is way less pronounced, as music is a way more personal hobby unless it comes to my own music. Most of my friends don’t share my musical taste and it has pretty much always been like that, so I like to think of my music fandom as something that only exists between me and the music that I can relate too, which is more than fine by me.

It is safe to say that fandom is an enormous part of my life and I don’t think this will change much. Being a fan of something does not only mean enjoying something to a great extent, it also means being part of a community that shares your interests. Fan interaction takes mere entertainment and turns it into something far more personal, yet communal.  All the things I have been a fan of  left a major impression on me as a person, whether it is a video game series, a band or some fictional universe, and I certainly look forward to getting into new and interesting fandoms that further accompany me through my everyday life.