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[maxwcll-blog]

“I had the same idea,” Max slowly answered, narrowing his eyes as he watched the animal in his girlfriend’s arms. “You know those things hate me.” The dog in his arms squirmed, but he didn’t release it --- if only because he didn’t know what Carina would do to the animal if it rushed her. He could feel the tension from the night before beginning to rise again, and he ran his hand over the small pet’s head to keep himself down. 

His words --- their tone --- had allowed room for more response, and he took the moment to consider his options. Did he really want another fight, when the remnants of last night’s broken glasses still needed to be cleaned up? Well, he never wanted a fight. Not even close. But it was often that he saw no other options. It was often that he felt Carina left him with no other options. And it wasn’t like he had gone out and searched for the dog on purpose --- the dog found him. Max had simply taken it upon himself to get the dog a collar, food, toys, treats, a bed, and a name. 

“We’re not keeping her,” he continued, gaze shifting from Carina, to the cat, and then back. “She’s already giving the dog dagger eyes.”

carina couldn’t even remember what they fought out, but then again – could she ever? it seemed like, for the past few years, they were just looking for something to argue about. all carina really remembered from the night before was throwing a glass of bourbon at max. she missed, of course, never intending to actually hurt him. she was angry, and dramatic. that same night, when he left, she laid awake and alone in bed. every now and then, tugging on the corner of his shirt. that’s sort of what happened now. she hated sleeping alone but seemed to be doing that constantly. her solution? it was to take hostage of a few of max’s shirts to wear to sleep.

desperate to find a way to bring them back to where they started, she drove around town rather early that morning. and then it suddenly hit her. if they got a pet, perhaps it would change the entire dynamic in their home. in a matter of two hours, carina had not only adopted a beautiful, green-eyed and black cat, but she always bought all the necessities: a cat bed, a litter box, toys, food, litter, etc. she thought it might be a nice surprise and max and her could have a nice day for once.

she stared at the dog in his arms. there was absolutely no way she was expecting this to happen. there was no reason to be bitter or raise her voice at him but his tone wasn’t exactly welcoming and she was exhausted having had a terrible night’s rest. “a cat.” she spoke cautiously. “i thought she might be a nice addition to the house. what about you?”

[maxwcll-blog]

Don’t ever back me into a corner expecting me to break.

                           I do not do gentle.

             I will take every single tear I shed on your behalf and use it as ammo in the war that you started.

                               I will fight until I can’t fight anymore and I will win.

Because while I might seem fragile to you

                  { I have won more battles than you could imagine }

        and I am stronger than any warrior this planet could muster up.

                                                        You bite me and I will bite back.

           The thing is ——

                                         —— my teeth are [ s h a r p e r  ] than yours.

[maxwcll-blog]

Had he chosen any other day to go through with what had been in his head for months, things would have been fine. He didn’t expect anything to be perfect, or better ---- at least not for very long. He just wanted one day, one chance, at saying things were fine. He and Carina were fine. 

The night before had been hectic, as they always were. There had been the shouting, broken things everywhere; of course there had been no way Max would have remained under the same roof as his girlfriend after it. So he had taken advantage of the moment of solitude to find the puppy that he carried into the house the next morning. He had taken advantage of their quarrel to try and find his way around to a peace offering. His only question as he stood in the foyer was: how had he gotten himself into hitting another wall? Staring at the cat in Carina’s arms, and then glancing at Carina, the question repeated itself in his head. How? But a further, more relevant question found its way out of his mouth and into the air.

“What’s this?”

[maxwcll-blog]

Ah, those two. In a fight, they’re lethal. Around each other, they melt.

Sonya Karp, The Golden Lily (via icarus-writes)

[maxwcll-blog]

kiss me (cover) || the fray

[maxwcll-blog]

we look at each other,     like we’re  a b o u t  to kiss.

[maxwcll-blog]

I’m spitting up poetry as water gathers in my hollowed-out ribcage.

Michelle Tudor (via infinitejvst)

[maxwcll-blog]

But at night it’s a little tougher because it’s quieter and darker. And without all the noise around you, you sort of realise it’s just you.

Humans of New York, December 21st 2015 (via capitalletterlyrics)