mayapantsonfire
insta @m.canbio "Theres a time and a place for everything and T
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You don’t need someone that comes back, you need someone that stays.
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Your soul is always communicating with you. It tells you where it wants to go by making you aware of your interests, your desires, and what feels good to you. Follow your passions. When something stops bringing you joy, stop doing it. Shift and flow like the water.
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uncontrollable laughter is honestly just the best feeling
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after i have sex with a guy i never want to see them or speak to them again.
they no longer exist to me.
it’s so weird; it’s like a switch.
we can be vibing together really well, having a great time, he can be a great person, but if anything physical happens immediately after i want absolutely nothing to do with them. ever again.
i have no clue why this is. it is something i have been pondering since wednesday. obviously this is not the case for someone i have feelings for, but maybe it’s because usually i don’t even want the sex to happen. i just kinda let it happen.
so does that somehow subconsciously make me resent the person? i think maybe it is a mixture of that and regret.
looking back, i’ve had very, very few sexual encounters in which i was completely into it and/or not pressured, didn’t feel obligated, wasn’t forced. and even fewer still in which it was with someone i felt for.
i’ve learned to not harp on it too much, not to feel completely guilty and regretful as i did in the past.
i thought i had completely ridded myself of doing that, actually. but apparently it has evolved and is manifesting differently. and on a more subconscious level.
maybe i’m trying to erase them in a sense. thus erasing the memory and the encounter.
because if they do not exist, did it ever really happen?
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