Does withering sound good to you? It just never has to me. So each day I pray that the Lord would help me to bloom no matter what the day holds. I'm a redeemed child of God, a wife to a tall drink of water, a stay at home mom to four WILD flowers. I have a desire to instill in them the ability to bloom wherever they are planted. My prayer is that this blog helps you do the same.
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Loud Anger
4/16/19
“Dear God, help us not slam things, because that might break something. So, help mom not do that anymore when she’s mad.”—My 5-year-old’s prayer tonight.
Worst. Mom. Ever.
Ok, I know that’s not true, but man, that is how I feel right now.
I put my kids to bed at an embarrassingly early time tonight and now, all I want to do is wake each of them up and hug them for an hour straight.
Thankfully I apologized to them before bedtime. I know they still love me and I’m almost positive that they know I still love them.
What a day.
My is teething. Drew is getting out of napping. Belle is growing up so fast that it hurts and Luke...the kid won’t stop kissing my hand and telling me that he’s a gentleman. I love it and well, by the twentieth time in the day, I’m a bit sick of it all at the same time.
Parenting is so, incredibly, hard.
So hard, that it’s easy to forget that it is a gift, perhaps the greatest gift, second to His amazing grace.
Four tiny humans look to me and my husband as guides. They look to us as their “how do I get through this?” people.
While tucking her in, I told my daughter that I want her to watch me and do the things that I do…most of the time. I also told her, when she hears me getting angry quickly or loudly, and even when I slam the peanut butter jar on the counter, NOT to do the things that I do. I told her that she could talk to me whenever she gets confused.
I also have Someone as my Guide. A “how do I get through this?” person.
His name is Jesus.
I get so confused how to get through this life sometimes. How do I get them to love Jesus more than anyone? How do I get myself to love Jesus more than anyone? Am I teaching them they way they should go? Why is something that I love so much, so hard?
My Guide knows the answers. My Guide IS the answer.
So I ask for forgiveness and I cling to assurance that tomorrow His mercies repeat themselves.
And when the sun is rising, I’ll look forward to the hugs.
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Who do you turn to?
Have you talked to God about it yet?
Sometimes in life, we talk to everyone else about our problems. Wether it's parenting, relationship, etc. advice. But we forget that God is the one we should always go to first. If you want advice, or even just a shoulder to lean on, someone to cry to, an ear to listen, call on Jesus. He is the one to go to. And if you go to someone else, make sure that they are turning you back to His Word and promises. It is there and only there, that you'll find true comfort.
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Extraordinary in the ordinary...
To my nieces and any other young lady excited about love...
Sometimes, love will be exciting. On our first anniversary, Peter and I went to New York City and watched the ball drop at midnight. It was fabulous.
Sometimes, love will be less exciting. Today, I've done three loads of laundry and have hung out with my three kiddos while my hubby has been busy at work.
Don't get caught up in the above and beyond. Those times are super fun and are incredibly enjoyable, but real life is pretty awesome too.
There's a good possibility that we'll be eating leftovers tonight and might even head to bed before midnight. There's a good possibility that I'll beat Peter at Yahtzee tonight and he'll beat me at Cribbage. This all might happen while wearing sweatpants. And you know what...I'm going to love it!
Find a man who loves the Lord. Find a man who builds you up, encourages you and asks you to read the Bible with him.
Love God, dear nieces. Thank Him for the Christian men in your life and pray for the one that He might, someday, make your husband!
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Enough with the character...
“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” Romans 5:3,4
Ever want to tell God that you don’t want any more character? I’m kidding. Kind of. Sometimes, you just want it to be easy. Just want to get through a rough patch without feeling any of the pain from it. If you’ve ever felt that way, find comfort in your past. Look what He’s already gotten you through. His faithfulness has brought you to the other side of so many hard times already. “He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.” Psalm 91:4
That faithfulness is constant, so even if you are feeling like you’re fine in the “character” department, just know that He has walked this path before you. He loves you. You can have hope in His plan for you. After all, they are “plans to prosper”. Jeremiah 29:11
And to think...we don’t even deserve it.
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Irony
This morning I kept wanting my boys to “go play”. I love them, but I just needed them to be away from me for a second. They wouldn’t stop saying, “mom” and they just wanted me constantly. I felt a little overwhelmed, so I called my mom. Huh. I guess it’s hereditary.
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A wish to see...
Do you ever wish you could believe something for someone?
Like, believe how God sees them? Maybe be their cheerleader in their pocket, cheering them on throughout their day? Your encouragement, using His Word, is all they’d be able to hear. The lies would be silenced by the Truth being exclaimed.
Ever wish that?
The lies are loud. They are convincing. They are just, plain easier to believe at times. They are heartbreaking to watch someone you love, believe.
While it’s impossible to believe something for someone, it is extremely possible to pray for them.
Visualize yourself, literally, handing the load to God and ask Him to carry the weight of the lies. Ask Him to lift the load, so that the Truth shines through.
Precious in His sight.
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A crazy little thing called love...
It happened again. My kids, somehow, woke up loving me even though yesterday, I lost my cool more times than I'd like to admit. And me? Well, I love them too, even though amoxicillin was spit in my face, sibling arguments took up most of my day and one of the three decided he needed to sleep with us and hold my nose for a good portion of the night. It's crazy. What's more crazy, is the undeserved love that God gives me on a daily basis. God doesn't remember my sins from yesterday. He doesn't hold them against me or hang them over my head, like I, unfortunately, do with my kids sometimes. He holds my repentant, sinful heart with care and has washed me clean. If you think you're too far gone, what you've done is too bad to forgive, you're wrong. We sin...every single day and yet, He loves us. It's crazy. It doesn't make sense, but He loves us. He's forgiven us. Yesterday is gone. Today is a new day of His grace. Stay in the Word, pray continually and find peace in knowing that His love doesn't depend on you.
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The Formative Years
The first five years of a child’s life are incredibly important in their development. That means I have three days to fix whatever mistakes I’ve made while raising my little Noelle. Of course, I’m joking, but I vividly remember screaming at her once and from then on, I’ve been terrified of these first five years. After I lost my mind, I remember crying and asking her to forgive me. I kept thinking about how scary I must have looked to her. I was so scared that that’s all she was every going to remember about me. I remember feeling that I had just ruined her. Turns out, I didn’t. The next day, she woke up and loved me just the same. Man, oh man. Parenting is terrifying. The formative years are so important. I’m so thankful that these years, and all the years to follow, are held by someone who loves my sweet Noelle even more than I do.
I will make many mistakes while raising my kiddos. In fact, the same screaming incident that I had with Noelle, years ago, was just repeated with Andrew the other day. You would have thought I learned my lesson, but my quick temper got the best of me again and I’m quite certain that that won’t be the last time.
So as I prepare my sensitive heart for my baby girl to turn five, (the age of the kids I used to teach!!!), I’ll just be thankful for the loan from God that she is and be fervent in prayer as I navigate through this whole parenting thing. I might also cling to the fact that some experts say that the “formative years” go up to age eight. Haha. So three more years to figure it out.
Seriously though…I’ll try to pour a little grace in my cup and lean on Him to guide me through.
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