maybeanarcher

[maybeanarcher]

i also just watched whiplash (v good movie btw) and omg i really did relate to it with the throwing yourself into what you love so hard you injure yourself and crash - but the end really gave me some hope that you can go back and you can find your passion again, which im really hoping is my reality soon

[maybeanarcher]

an update, a few months later

its been about two month since i last posted an update - so much for consistent updates loolllll

BUT i have great news! after my sem 1 exams i decided to commit to making semester 2 better than semester 1 - that included actually going for archery! but i knew i couldnt just show up for archery, so i put in the work! during exams i did some light workouts - just a couple push ups everyday, and then after exams i acc went for practice!!! and it was not bad at all!!!

i mean i still got tired at the end and couldnt pull my bow for all six arrows BUT it was so so so much better than last semester!!

now atp ive got a lil workout routine going and its very similar to what i used to do back when i used to train properly- and i can shoot the entire two hour practice now! and now ive got a consistent group going as well! im still working on getting my technique perfected ive got a couple mistakes BUT OHMYGOSH SOOOOOO MUCH BETTER THAN BEFORE

i think i may actually accomplish my unspoken goal to be good enough to shoot long distance by the time outdoor szn starts - and outdoor szn starts this month!!! aaaaahhhh im actually so so so excited to shoot outdoors again omgomg

im so so proud of myself for going through with it and actually going for practice and im so so proud of myself for keeping consistent with practice AND most of all im proud of myself for being happy at practice and being excited about archery because its been way too long since ive felt this way and im so glad its come to this point.

[maybeanarcher]

for context

ive been an archer since i was 9, and gave it everything i had, till i got super burnt out around 2 years ago, and lost all my passion.

now a part of me feels missing, and im filled with guilt and regret.

but i want to get back to it, i know i can do it, ive just been so scared for so long that i'll go back and i wont shoot the same as i did before. but of course i wont, its been a long time, im out of practice, if i want to even try i have to start.

i just have to start.

and maybe documenting my journey to love my sport again will give me the motivation to keep going

[maybeanarcher]

maybe its my algorithm knowing i want to avoid being reminded of my sport, but i havent seen a lot of people talk about how you lose a part of your identity when you stop doing your sport.

because how does it go from being one of the first things you associate your whole self with, to something collecting dust under your bed, medals and trophies an echo of the person you used to be.

and maybe its selfish, but everytime i see someone passionate about something, whether its a sport or not, im so happy for them, but the gaping hole in me that used to be filled with that same passion just keeps growing larger, and i lose more of myself.