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Why does everyone hate love island

Not everything has to be intellectually stimulating.

The world has enough going on already that requires our immediate and undivided attention. Imminent climate catastrophe, a government hell bent on destroying the country, genocide in Sudan.

But no the only thing people want to have a moan about is an hour of uncomplicated tv where a bunch of incredibly conventionally attractive people try and find love or 6 months of dodgy nightclub appearances.

Where love island comes into its own is that,its easy to watch and nice to watch. Yes the women all look the same and most of the guys are fuckboys but at this precise moment in time would I rather watch some crusty old reed who is probably jack the ripper or a firefighter with a nose ring and tats.

we can’t keep ourselves neck deep in the geopolitical worlds 100% of the time and expect to be right as rain. No we need something to take our minds off of things.

Think of love island as a bathbomb for the soul if only for 8 weeks  + a Christmas special a year.

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PsychoKiller Ques qe say.

   Real life is often the basis for many a film or tv series, but in no other genre is this more evident than in horror. Could this be that humans are the most deadly and evil of all creatures, but with more and more heinous crimes being committed and revealed, the well of inspiration shows now signs of drying up. 

references abound in the category but one man has created more points of reference than Ed Gein. His crimes and odd nature influenced everyone from Thomas Harris to Robert Block and Alfred Hitchcock. As a man that is obsessed with his mother and likes to wear the skin of others created the icons of horror, Norman Bates, Leatherface and Buffalo Bill. Ed helps lay a mythos that all serial killers and monsters are odd loners. 

Another cultural institution based on a serial killer is Scream, the beautiful pop culture reference filled love child of horror legend Wes Craven. Scream is extremely loosely based on Danny Rollings - the Gainesville Ripper, whose murder spree in 1990 targeted teenagers. Much like Ghost face he used items that were around the location to aid in his murder. Craven uses the trilogy to show the tropes and stereotypes used in horror are actually based in fact. Also many a horror fans sexual awakening came from Skeet Ulrich sucking blood off his finger. 

Ivan Milat is the main inspiration for Wolf Creek, that and the isolation that comes from the Australian outback. Being Australian its extremely on the nose with the violence being in your face and doesn't slow down when it comes to the gruesome reality of the crimes. Now as with most ‘true stories’ it takes full advantage of its artistic licence and allows Mike to burn and bury his victims, instead of the abuse that the dead suffered at the hands of Milat. This allows you to know that what you are watching isn't really real and creates the out of body experience that allows you to put all your actual fears and nightmares into some form of context. 

life imitates art and art imitates life. Other examples include the Zodiac Killer and the obsession with finding out his identity. That being said even though good money is that he is dead, we have only just found out the identity of the Golden State Killer.  You then have ‘the town who dreaded sundown’ based on the Texakarna moonlight murders and MT Gonzaulias’s investigation. It tries to entice you with the taglines ‘based on a true story’ and ‘only the names have been changed.’. As it is another crime that has never been solved, the obsession trickles through popular culture, this trickle down has resulted in the local parks department holding an open air screening of the film each Halloween and so the obsession continues. 

As long as violent crime exists, film will continue to use this to make us feel comfortable processing this information from a safe distance. 

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Singers in star vehicles.

Having a big name in a movie can make its chances of box office success, and as more singers and artists try to diversify their careers and create their legacy more and more are turning to film. 

Now we arent talking about the big 50′s blockbusters with frank and bing but just your normal Hollywood fare that makes up the big screen of the last 20 years.  you know sting in Dune, Bowie in Labyrinth, however that being said its not always their finest hour. 

As we sit in awe of Lady Gaga and her fantastic, (and most likely nominated) take on A Star is Born lets take a look at some highs and lows of having a singer in a staring role.

bad news is always take knowing that there will be some good on the way, so lets get the awfulness out of the way. 

Jared Leto. the man is a great front man for 30 seconds to mars, but attempting a mix of heath ledger and Daniel Day Lewis was always going to create something that didn't sit right with people. I mean even Daniel Day Lewis doesn't want to be Daniel Day Lewis.  His half hour in Fight Club is mediocre at best and the only good things about him the Outsider is he can pull off the 50s suit and GI uniform and his eyes perpetuate the idea that he would fall in love with the local Yakuza’s Oyabun’s daughter. Hes so awful in the Dallas Buyers Club, that it felt like the academy felt obliged to give him something for nothing. 

Something a bit more palatable now. Cher. Silkwood, Mermaids, Moonstruck all great. but it wasnt until she was announced as a lead in Mamma Mia 2 that it seemed to me she was going to add another rung to her legacy ladder unseen since her turn in Witches of Eastwick. She has the look and presence that only an icon can, and when she turns to take down the legend that is, Jack Nicholson, it is done with such sass that it brings the whole film together.  Also we all wish that we could get away with dealing with our own Daryls the same way.

Please welcome to the stage, Miss Dolly Parton. I mean women are powerful, especially if the US midterms tell us anything about the power behind 51% of the worlds population. Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda are powerhouses and nothing bad about them will be said in my house. However the best thing about 9-5 is Dolly. From her quintessential southernness to the fact she wrote the theme song in her chair between scenes. It may be her Carnegie Hall. Well its either that or her heart rending performance in Steel Magnolias. Now whilst she almost quit film following Best Little Whorehouse in Texas because we all know Burt Reynolds was an asshat. She will always love film the way she loves Carl. 

the ultimate singer in a star vehicle has to be Meatloaf. Hes a great character actor, I mean look at him, he was Alister Moody before JK even created the look. His turn in fight club is a genius bit of casting from Laray Mayfield because i didn't even realize it was him till I was 18. which just goes to show how great his characterization of an angry man adamant that the man is out to get him, and that hanging on to Tyler Durdens coat tails is the way to go.

But it is his role as Eddie in Rocky Horror that is a stroke of genius and perfectly blends the lines between an actor who can sing and a singer that can act. I mean we all know that Adam Lambert tried but who else could end your life with a switchblade knife all the while perfecting a perfect sax solo. Plus the way he looks into Little Nell’s eyes, whilst singing ‘Hot Patootie’ shows a range of emotion, rarely seen in a bad boy of that era, harking back to the Brando’s and Deans’s, with none of the hopeless brooding of some people. 

The long and short of it is that having a singer in your movie in a lead role is going to put bums on seats and money in the studios hands no matter how bad they actually are. But it being a good standard of film is always trickier to guess. 

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Slow,Quick,Quick, Slow.

Dance is an art whose aim is to tell a story through movement. these films aim to tell a story through both the dance and the art of the motion picture.

10.Flash Dance 

what a feeling its believing. well for the famous audition scene you need a dash of belief as we all know its not Jennifer Beales break dancing. But it does have a great stereotype busting lead and a iconic theme song.

9.Step Up

its west side story for the modern age. Channing Tatum is your rough and ready Maria & Jenna Dewan Tatum is your prim and proper Tony.Its got a cracking soundtrack with a modern love story, plus Channing Tatum looks amazing in a pair of low rise joggers. I still prefer center stage.

8. Make It Happen

Girl auditions for a prestigious dance school. School hates hip-hop. Girl gets a job at a burlesque bar where she dances sensually then gets to dance for a living. decides to auditon again on a whim and gets in. Honey has a better feel good feeling.

7. Magic Mike 

Hollywoods hottest men. An ex-stripper. in a film about male strippers. Fantastic. 

6. Strictly Ballroom

Baz Luhrmann on dance. its sumptuous sensual and fantastic. as is now par for the course with Luhrmann its full of deep colours, fantastic lighting and beautiful costuming.Now only if i can find a paso jacket like that for Migs and the world will be a happier place.

5. Dirty Dancing. 

Now i’ve had the time of my life. well if i had done the horizontal tango with patrick swayze then i most certainly would have. The classic dances are secondary in this film as at its heart its a film about a young girl finding her place in this world and how the world sees her. Because without the abortion sequence the film would be nothing. Also FUCK ROBBIE. 

4. Black Swan

Dark deviant and athestically pleasing. We all know that the world of pro ballet dancers is rife with infighting deception and no carbs. but what this film does through aronofskys fantastic directing is take us inside Natalie Portman’s mind as it all begins to unravel and decends into madness. also as always the swan lake costumes are fantastic.

3. Footloose

Kevin Bacon new boy gymnast/dancer vs John Lithgows repressed town pastor going head to head over a prom. Not what one would expect from a 1984 blockbuster movie, yet it and its soundtrack have found a way into our sunday afternoons and its redemption ark fits well in the John Hughes niche its trying to enter.

2. Billy Elliot

A young boy from a northern mining town is always an odd one given that those towns have and continue to be hyper masculine. But add in a cast stacked full of RADA/RSC alumni it just works. Plus Julie Walters is fantastic in a seminal role.

1. Saturday Night Fever. 

ITS FUCKING TRAVOLTA.

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Honourable Mentions.

In this town of Halloween we may have settled the top ten but its always worth a look at some other films that are perfect for this dark crisp fall night.

- The Wailing (Hong-jin Na) 2016

- The Omen (Richard Donner) 1976

- Rocky Horror Picture Show (Jim Sharman) 1975

- It (Andy Muschietti) 2017

- Halloween (John Carpenter) 1978 - thanks Summer!

- Nightmare on Elm Street (Wes Craven) 1984

- Strippers vs Werewolves  (Jonathan Glendening) 2012 - thanks Nick!

- The Hills Have Eyes (Alexandre Aja) 2006

- Hatchet (Adam Green) 2006

-The Shining (Stanley Kubrick) 1980

- Psycho (Alfred Hitchcock)  1960 

- Shaun of The Dead (Edgar Wright) 2004

Any other suggestions let us know.

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Hail to the pumpkin song.

Now the clocks have gone back we now have to start our monster hunts an hour earlier as we all know that evil lives in cold dark places. For me (steph) evil is found in the mundane -being a fan of serial killers makes you aware of the innocuous. 

So see below Pauls top ten horror films as always with added commentary by your very own Charles Gray. 

10. THE BIRDS. 

Tippi Hendren portrays the sparky young 60′s socialite that she did so well and then well Hitchcock does what he does best. the build up is whats scary here along with the main scare coming completely out of left field. y’all never look at a seagull the same way. 

9. AUDITION

Pretty girls are scary. everyone knows this no matter what side of the gender line you sit on. beauty can do crazy things to a person including torture murder and dismemberment. Japan does so fantastically with horror films and mixes the horror of true life and the imagination of the some of the most gore loving directors. 

8. GET OUT

A revolution in horror starting off seemingly as another ‘guess whose coming for dinner’ slowly dragging you into the depths of this madness. who expected this from Jordan Peele a man known for his comedic timing and fondness of cats. 

7. THE MIST

no one likes fog much less when it contains a monster from the mind of horror royalty Stephen King. its grim, creepy and its best not to watch this during the early morning fog this island in the north west corner of northern europe is known for. 

6. THE HAUNTING

a week just to sleep. sign me the fuck up. oh the call came from Liam Neeson and the study’s in a creepy ass haunted mansion. Maybe not. Ill just keep going with my lavender pillow spray.

5. RINGU

One of the best films to come out of Japan ever. with its creepy lighting,camera angles that make even the most stoic and unnerved people wince. no matter who remakes it or parodies it (looking at you america) it will always be the best version. 

4. 28 DAYS LATER…

I HATE ZOMBIES I HATE ZOMBIES I HATE ZOMBIES. That being said Danny Boyle creates the perfect set up for a zombie movie. A realistic reason as to why the zombies are there and the best shot of the new emerging london skyline. Cillian Murphy provides a genuine look of confusion as he awakes into a strange new world with ‘fast zombies’. 

3. THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE

A classic. maybe not as accurate to the Ed Gein story as its wants to be but it takes the main headline grabbing parts of the story and just runs with it. from using real skeletons to the unforgiving dinner sequence its a tale that whilst it may not be as heavy hitting as when your 15 watching horror films for the first time. its still a good one though. 

2. MARTYRS

a story about revenge is normally nowt but a torture porn (thanks saw). But the french do it differently - along with so many other things. theres a child abuse launch pad leading to a deeper look inside the mind of someone damaged and reckless. 

1. DAWN OF THE DEAD

the daddy of the zombie film. George A Romero does the genre a solid with this one. even though its a sequel it stands alone as a classic. the idea of being in a locked down mall armed with only what you find as an ever growing zombie hoard descends on you. im just gonna wait for this all to blow over. I STILL HATE ZOMBIES.

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Make it so.

To quote mick Jagger please allow me to introduce ourselves we aren’t men of wealth but we feel that we have some semblance in taste.

I’m Steph a lover of all things sassy glitter and a fine set of abs.  The other and some would say the better half of this duo is Paul – a graduate of film and the probably the bane of Odeon’s hr board.

These posts are basically just us chatting about how we feel about films. Also there will be the obvious film recs, top tens and who knows the odd theme week.

��We also love a drink and most of these conversations have come out of a bottle wine so please see some of the best bars (in our drunken opinion) . Some of these were also in contention for the name of this fine blog.

·         Bobs Country Bunker – The Blues Brothers. In the world’s biggest most decadent movie you expect that the bars going to be darn good.

·         The Titty Twister – if you’re gonna end up dead then you might as well have a drink with Clooney and get a lap dance from Hayek. Authors note Selma Hayek is a fantastically beautiful woman and if she wanted to give me a lap dance I would graciously accept.  

·         Rick’s Café Americain- I mean would it be an official list of fictional bars if this classic wasn’t included? Probably not but if this bar was real it would more than likely be the starting place for many a beautiful friendship.

·         Fat Sam’s Grand Slam Speakeasy- in here you can be anything you want to be. If your under the age of 13 and 5’3.

·         The Winchester- a nice spot in leafy north London where the shot gun is loaded and the toasties are great.  Also a fantastic place to hide from zombies.

·         Jack Rabbit Slims- the diner is a quintessential part of the American film so where else would you put two American darlings in the career defining roles also I wonder how many calories are in a martin and Lewis shake.

now this is andrew marr signing off from the log flumes.