megaawkwardhuman

[megaawkwardhuman]

.That Judge Judy Pussy grip insane. You be calling her Judith on the second stroke.

[megaawkwardhuman]

Shit man, this wizard war is fucked. I just saw a guy clap his hands together and say "the ten hells" or some similar shit, and every one around him turned inside out, had their tibia explode and then disappeared. The camera didn't even go onto him, that's how common shit like this is. My ass is casting frostbite and level 2 poison. I think I just heard "power word:scrunch" two groups over. I gotta get the fuck outta here.

[megaawkwardhuman]

Harvey Guillén 📸 Sequoia Emmanuelle

Fun with textures: he wore a Poplin Lace Shirt by Simone Rocha with his trademark bow and Tailored Pleats 1 by Homme Plissé Issey Miyake.

[megaawkwardhuman]

TRAD ART DUMP RAHHH

[megaawkwardhuman]

Dappled Harvey at the pub.

[megaawkwardhuman]

[megaawkwardhuman]

Can't believe first time drawing the baron for silliest reason

[megaawkwardhuman]

I love that I share my house with one of the most efficient apex predators millions of years of evolution could produce. I love that two of nature’s most prolific machines met and were like “hmmm. We should lay around and do nothing together”. Now we’re both fat and happy and full of meat. The hedonism of it all

[megaawkwardhuman]

how many followers do you have

only you baby i swear

[megaawkwardhuman]

my toxic trait is that i think i could be trusted with the death note. i know the whole point of death note is that no one can be trusted with the death note but i would just use it exclusively to kill evil people. like corrupt politicians. and also every police officer. and people who don't use their turn signals

[megaawkwardhuman]

woah dude you hit your head pretty hard. 2025? president donald trump? "labubu"? haha no clue what youre talking about dude its roughly 1pm august 8th 2004 and we're about to take a chicago boat tour and i heard dave matthews band is in town and

[megaawkwardhuman]

oh... you're cis? like you still use the gender your parents picked out for you? no i mean that's fine if youre happy with it...... i guess i expected something a bit more mature :/ you sure you don't wanna try a new one? okay dude....

[megaawkwardhuman]

today's bug thing are these oreo ladybugs!

[megaawkwardhuman]

omegaverse dating apps probably involve some kind of frangrantica style This Is My Scent feature and it’s huge discourse if someone lies

[megaawkwardhuman]

When We Met In The Shadows...

A lot of dialogue from When Harry Met Sally is seemingly untranslatable, but I think I'm managing well lmao. Also we need more fics of Guillermo remembering things Nandor hypnotized away?? Chefs kiss on that one fr

Also in this series: Nandermo watch Casablanca, Sharing fantasies in the park, 15 years and 3 months

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(ID in alt and under cut)

ID: 1a. Chest up of a 25-year-old Guillermo sweeping in the fancy room. He is wearing a scoop neck sweater over a black shirt and aviator-style glasses, his hair longer and parted to the side as he moves away from his emo bangs phase. A placard above him states the year as 2016. In the doorway behind him stands Nandor, casually leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed, watching. Guillermo looks back at him in curiosity as Nandor pipes up, "You realize of course that we can never be friends." 1b. Chest-up shot of them both as Nandor steps into the room and straightens from his slouch. Guillermo, gripping his broom with a troubled expression, asks "Why not, Master?" Nandor replies easily, "There are certain protocols between a master and familiar that must be upheld." 1c. Repeat. Nandor stands up straight, one hand haughtily on his hip as he waves the other dismissively in Guillermo's face and says "Me: the cool, aloof vampire warrior. You: the dowdy little servant boy who attends to my every need." Guillermo's face drops into resigned irritation at this, frowning at Nandor's hand. Nandor continues under his breath, "And my vampire housemates and friends, with whom I do a lot of fucking."

2a. Mostly empty panel with Guillermo small in the center, waist-up. From offscreen, Nandor continues, "What I am saying is that vampires and familiars cannot be friends because the sex part always gets in the way." Guillermo, cheeks reddening and head surrounded by question marks, echoes nervously "The...sex part?" 2b. Shoulders up shot of them both, POV slightly behind Nandor's shoulder. Nandor holds up an informative finger and confirms, "Yes, it is frowned upon to have sex with a familiar. It's like fucking where you sweep or some shit." Guillermo looks up at him, confused, and asks, "And that means...we can't be friends? I know plenty of familiars who are friends with their masters, and there's no sex involved."

3a. Tall slanted panel, Nandor leaning forward to point accusingly at Guillermo while Guillermo leans back, flustered and brandishing his broomstick like a weapon. Nandor argues, "Yes there is." Guillermo shoots back, "No there isn't." "Yes there is!" "No there isn't." "You only think there isn't!" 3b. Close up of Guillermo on a yellow background with a startled blue starburst. His shoulders are hunches defensively, face flushed and sweaty, the broomstick rambling slightly where it is held out in front of his chest. He squeaks, "You're saying they're...doing that with their masters without them knowing??" (emphasis on that). 3c. Close up of Nandor on a yellow background with a startled blue starburst, slightly flushed with his hands held up palm-out. He shouts, "No, what I am saying is they all want to have sex with you!" (emphasis on you). 3d. Repeat, smaller, on a plain background. Nandor hunches his shoulders and looks away, embarrassed, hands dropping at the wrist like anxious little paws. He mumbles, "...Er. The. Hypothetical familiar, that is."

4a. Tall slanted panel, this time Guillermo is leaning forward insistently, broom held down at his side. Nandor is standing with his arms crossed, leaning away. Guillermo argues, "They do not." Nandor shoots back, "Do too!" "Do not!" "Do too!" "How do you know?" 4b. Hips up shot of Nandor from Guillermo's POV, huffing condescendingly with his hands on his hips and head held high. He states, "Because no vampire can be friends with a familiar he finds attractive, he will always want to have sex with them!" 4c. Short slanted panel of them both in profile. Guillermo stands still, face beet red, eyes shining and lips pursed hesitantly. He replies, shakily, "So...we can't be friends because you're...a-attracted to me? Nandor rears up angrily, blushing, and splutters, "Wh- n-no! This applies to all familiars! All familiars are bangable!"

5a. Wide slanted panel with a bust of Guillermo on the wide end, a starburst of white on the black background on the narrow. Offscreen, Nandor continues, "You are not special for this, Guillermo, don't be silly!" Guillermo flinches back at the words, expression curling hurt into anger. 5b. Identical panel mirrored, with a bust of Nandor on the wide end. Offscreen, Guillermo asks pointedly, "What if they don't want to have sex with you? Can you be friends then?" Nandor bristles, nostrils flaring as his mouth screws up in frustration. 5c. Hips up of them both in profile on a deep red background. Nandor takes an angry step forward and Guillermo leans back in surprise, his hand tightening on the broom handle at his side but not yet raising it. Nandor yells, "That does not matter, because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story!" He emphasizes his last line by sweeping his arm through the space between them, forcibly ending the discussion.

6a. Close up of Guillermo from Nandor's POV, looking flushed and confused as he gazes up at Nandor with a furrowed brow. Offscreen, Nandor mutters, "Ugh, fuck this." 6b. Hips up shot of Nandor, Guillermo shoulders-up in the foreground. Nandor closes his eyes with a frustrated expression and holds up a hand in front of Guillermo's face. Glowing green lines surround his fingers and his speech bubble as he commands, "You will not remember this conversation." The background turns a rich indigo as the hypnosis takes hold. 6c. Wide shot of the fancy room on a smaller panel, Nandor turning his back with a flutter of cape as he stomps out of the room. Guillermo stands with his back to the viewer and broom loosely held at his side, body listing sideways from the effects of the hypnosis. The negative space outside the panels is beginning to transition from white to black. 6d. Repeat, the panel smaller and colors darker. Guillermo straightens up and grips the broom in both hands, looking around like he doesn't remember what he was doing. 6e. Repeat, the panel smaller and colors darker still. Guillermo turns and starts sweeping the floors as if nothing happened.

7a. Series of panels getting darker and thinner as the negative space beyond the panels turns fully black. 7b. Close up of Guillermo's nose and eyes while he lays on a pillow in a dark room. The panel is outlined in white, indented with a series of circles as if all that came before was inside a thought bubble. The last circle pops at Guillermo's temple and his eyes fly open. 7c. Hips up of Guillermo sitting up in bed in the greenhouse, staring blankly into the darkness as he processes what he just remembered. A placard above him states the year as 2025. On his bedside table is a plugged-in phone, his glasses, a dark lamp, and a purple and pink picture frame that says 'best friends' with a photo of him and Nandor grinning into the camera with their heads pressed close. /end ID

[megaawkwardhuman]

[megaawkwardhuman]

harvey's Emmy nom outfit >>>>>>