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(guy experiencing ocd) maybe its not ocd. maybe im evil

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i hate hate hate when i cant share a funny piece of information bc it doxxes me . What if i want to share my information i fucking love my information #myinformation

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Me after two glasses of that Fermented pear !!

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Im pregnant and its mine #illhavewhatimhaving

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tim drake's rules brain

I did promise I'd use this account for long form analysis of Batman characters' psychological problems. Something I was talking about on twitter the other day was that to me, one of Tim's primary drivers is his sense of duty -- his need to figure out the correct action and take it. This comes out either in family/social obligations ("I have to quit Robin because my dad said so and he's my dad") or in broader obligations he takes on ("I have to become Robin because Batman needs someone, and nobody else is doing it").

This trait of his is super compelling to me because it's both a strength and something that backfires on Tim constantly -- it's a big source of crunch. On twitter I called him the world's worst utilitarian: he will identify a need and then do pretty much anything short of murder to fill it, even if it tramples over things like his happiness or other people's boundaries.

It's pretty popular in fandom right now to frame his origins like: Tim figures out Batman's identity young, then spends years running around Gotham at night taking photos of Batman and Robin. This is fine!! This is a fine story! Have fun!!

But to me the compelling thing about his intro in A Lonely Place of Dying is that it goes more like: Tim figures out Batman's identity young, and doesn't do anything with this other than keep up with Batman news. While at boarding school he see Batman go apeshit when Jason dies, decides he has to fix this, and during his next week off from school he goes to Gotham and stalks Batman, Nightwing, and Starfire to figure out what's up, makes a plea to Nightwing to come home (without ever telling Nightwing his name because that's not relevant to the task!), and then finally takes on Robin because someone has to do it and he's the closest candidate (while firmly believing he's just a temp substitute!).

The compelling thing is how fast he goes from nondescript eighth-grader to stalker to Robin as soon as he convinces himself he has to do it.

And he does this constantly. My boy sees the world through the lens of rules/obligations/correct actions.

Like I said above, he quits Robin when his dad tells him to, because he needs to respect his dad.

He learns to skateboard (and builds a rocket-powered skateboard) because his dad sells his car and he needs to find a way to get around. Is he a 1990s teenager who just wants to skateboard? Yes. But he has to find a way to make it an obligation.

His conflict in Young Justice 98 is a conflict of obligations! Batman told him he isn't allowed to tell anyone his identity, while his YJ teammates can't trust him because he won't share his identity. Tim repeatedly asks Batman for permission and is bitter about getting a negative response, but won't go behind his back: he needs to respect his duty. (He's super relieved and gleeful when a villain reveals his identity to the team -- it's out of his hands! oh no! what a pity!!)

When Bruce tells Stephanie his identity he's furious at Bruce for the breach of trust and giving Steph more info than he wants her to have, but also specifically for breaking their contract -- they have an agreement and they need to follow it. Tim follows it! Why isn't Bruce??

Throughout the 90s, Bruce's failures to Tim are framed by Tim basically as breaches of contract. It isn't "this isn't a just or kind way to behave to someone in your life," it's "we had a deal and you need to follow it." Batman's 16th birthday present to Tim is two weeks of psychological torture in the form of a fake time-travel mystery; when Tim figures out it was a test, he's furious Bruce for the breach of trust and quits, but he returns within a week because 1) all his friends are capes and he'll never see them again as a civilian and 2) someone needs to protect Gotham. (His loneliness/desire for companionship is another Big Tim Trait imo. but that's another over-long tumblr post.)

Battle for the Cowl is not a good arc but I do think it's significant that in it Tim is the one who lets Jason out of prison, because in a way they're family, and you need to give family a second chance. That's the deal with families.

There's a point in 90s Robin where Tim builds himself a mobile computer system and teaches himself to type on a one-handed keyboard because he needs to find a way to look stuff up in the field without Oracle. Like the skateboard thing... he doesn't actually talk about just wanting to be a keyboard guy. Lots of people have fun building keyboards as a hobby, Tim. No. He has to invent an obligation about it.

[Tim Drake Fake Uncle Scam Arc Goes Here]

Red Robin is entirely about Tim deciding he needs to achieve a series of increasingly ridiculous goals. He needs to prove Bruce is alive. He needs to keep Wayne Enterprises solvent. He needs to take out the League of Assassins. If this ends with him as 1) the boy-king CEO of Wayne Enterprises 2) missing a spleen 3) obliged to pretend to have two broken legs for a year 4) the target of multiple real and fake assassination attempts 5) out of contact and on the outs with his family for months he'll do it. because he needs to.

As a counterpoint to the above, if he doesn't feel an obligation he'll do absolutely whatever. He lies to Batman constantly if it isn't something he feels Batman needs to know.

I could keep going. I'm forcing myself to stop here. This is too long.

Tim isn't "the smart Robin." Tim is the Robin who has weaponized the feeling of I Just Gotta so hard that he can use it to take down Ra's al Ghul. And watching himself either get trapped in an obligation or make one up so he can do what he wanted in the first place is part of what makes him so interesting to me!! ok thanks.

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starts talking about my emotional state with 2 degrees of abstraction instead of 7 and the sniper across the street who i pay to keep me in line fires a warning shot thru my little hoop earring

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Arugula is some crap they found on the ground for real

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Happy pride :)

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moral scrupulosity ocd affirmations compilation

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mrbroadway i can’t believe you revived chess with lea michelle and aaron tveit. why did you do that.

gays you get NOTHING

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Not to reinvent the wheel over here but humanity is sooo right about tea. It really is the perfect finnicky little thing to do. You can use it as an excuse to get up and transition to the next thing for yourself or with others; you can use tea as the centerpiece for socializing; you can use it as a meditative device or a comfort ritual or as medicine or to soothe pain or to set intentions or go to bed or to wake up. And most tea is pretty inexpensive, healthy and sometimes you can just harvest the ingredients yourself. And there's a set amount of time it takes to heat up the water and prepare your cup and let it steep, which is all part of a ritual that makes it fast but not instantaneous which is. Good.

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The cure to anxiety is completing all the tasks you have to finish for the day early and doing them phenomenally and being physically perfect and on everyone’s good side preferably even their favorite.

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Nothing better than an uptight repressed woman

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so what if I want to have total control over every single thing at all times. just let me lol