meganoeleven-blog - Tumblr blog

[meganoeleven-blog]

[meganoeleven-blog]

If you’ve never been to a drag show this is a good one to start with bring that money! If you have been to drag shows then you know the drill, let’s show them all how it’s done. (at There Ultra Lounge) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bpw2dMcnCTV/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=12kqj9b2ug94s

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Cameron still knows the best way to wake me up in the morning, snuggles and duck. #dogbuddy #goodestboy #morningsnugs #morningsnuggles #doggymotivation #heloveshisduck #heloveshismommy https://www.instagram.com/p/Bowf6RdHWHV/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1cq9knkx4ya4

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If you had told me a couple years ago that I would be able to up my makeup game like this, granted I am no drag performer, but I have come a long way from where I started. Thank you to my partner @kainimura for buying me makeup. #nobasicbitchhere #notbasicanymore #nofilters #nofilterneeded #movedonfrom2016 #improvement https://www.instagram.com/p/BoVXvHvnNW8/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1v0ygehk3nbyq

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I woke up fighting off one of my panic attacks as is becoming my normal when I wake up, and I was still hearing all the the negative whispers that haunt me from my abuser but today I had enough. I wasn’t gonna let it stop me from getting the things done that I needed to. So I put on a playlist and got myself ready for the day doing the things I needed to around the house. I looked myself in the mirror and said to my reflection that I was beautiful. And you know what? The ghosts of my past couldn’t argue and fell silent. Even if your not sure you believe it give yourself a pep talk every once and a while and play those songs that empower you. #todayisilencemydons #nofilterneeded #notgivingup #beyourownkindofbeautiful #stillhere #heretostay #myptsdwontwin

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Self explanatory #weirdroommate #bestroommate #smellmyunicorn

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If there was ever a day to be extra for work I guess my birthday would be the day for it. #nofilter #birthdayvibes🎉 #beextraaf #nosuchthingastooextra #vacationstartstomorrow

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When your partner introduces you to a band no one has heard of and you become a fan instantly. I can’t even get them on iTunes. Damn it @kainimura what have you done to me! #fanxyred #fanxyreddiamonds

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She trying to act all brave like she’s not gonna miss me but it’s okay I know she will. Farewell Adultmart Merchadise you were the job I needed a year ago and when I had nothing else. Thanks for keeping me a float until I could move on now. There are things I will miss and things I won’t but I have no regrets for the time I spent here. I will miss working with people (@liamezraa) but I know we will keep in touch. Peace out Adultmart! #lastdayatwork #noregrets #peaceout✌ #movingon #leaveongoodterms #easyplacetowork (at Adult Merchandise Mart)

[meganoeleven-blog]

Some days I put on makeup for no else but me. It can be my armor when I am having an off day or some times I use it to remind myself that I can be beautiful despite what negative thoughts might be swirling in my head. #dowhatmakesyouhappy #positivevibes #beyourownkindofbeautiful #notgivingup #stillhere #fightingmydemons #nofilters

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When you need to go to the store and your PTSD is trying to kick your ass there is only one solution. My handsome emotional support pup. He knew exactly when I was getting upset and kept close or pulled me down a different isle. Thanks for keeping me sane in Walmart Cameron.

[meganoeleven-blog]

My son thinks idk what he is doing when I am not home. I unpacked the webcam and put it up. Yes I am that kind of dog mum but if I wasn’t then I would miss moments like these.

[meganoeleven-blog]

I am not a person that considers themselves to be beautiful, in fact most days I avoid looking at my reflection when I do catch a glimpse of myself I usually say something along the lines of “Ahgh okay that’s what we’re working with today not sure I can do anything to fix this.” I know now that a lot of my negative self image is tied into things a very damaging person use to say to me. Things that my mind repressed but my subconscious held onto. It by no means is anything I am trying to make anyone feel pity for me, quite the opposite I never want anyone’s pity it makes me feel weak. I am simply saying all this because I get very few good days lately when my PTSD isn’t finding some way to ruin my day either through panic attacks, intrusive thoughts or my own mind being mean to me and making me doubt everything. But every once and a while I manage to put my makeup on do my hair just right and be able to look at my reflection in the mirror and say “hay, you look kinda hot today.” None of this is to say that I am unhappy. I am and things in my life have vastly improved even from last year. Which gives me hope bc last year I thought that even with struggles I was facing things were still improving. So if this year is an improvement on last year then next and years to come are going to keep getting better. The point to all my ranting is is this. 1. Remember that life will never be easy but anything worth having never is. 2.It only takes one negative thing to devastate a person and about 10 positive things to build them back up.. You don’t know what someone is going through. Have some patients with that cashier who looks overwhelmed af they could be on hour number 13 at their second job with less than 3 hours of sleep. 3. You are unique and important. There is no one else like you, so thanks for being you and still being here. 4. You are not alone. It is okay to ask for help. It is weak to try and handle it on your own only to fail. People are social beings even the most introverted person still has at least a few friends. 5.If you’ve read through all of this thank you. I hope you are well where ever you are. 😁❤️🏳️‍🌈

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Bout to go get a hair cut but I wanted to try and up my makeup game a bit so I tried a YouTube tutorial for my eyeshadow. Of course hers looked better than mine but I don’t think I did too bad.

[meganoeleven-blog]

To see the full version of this amazing human’s performance at #pride2018 click the link. You have to see this. https://www.facebook.com/1044615921/posts/10213981642828879/

[meganoeleven-blog]

In case you missed it at Pride and you are not on my Facebook watch my partner killing it on the main stage at Pride. I am still so proud of them. I get chills still every time I watch this. #pittsburghpride2018 #nonbinarypride #pittsburghdragking #ilovethemsomuch #btsarmy #soproudofthem

[meganoeleven-blog]

When your partner is on a float during Pride. #soproudofthem #pittsburghdragking #nonbinarypride #ilovemydragking #pittsburghpride2018