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Grandpa
I have had several days to process the death of my grandpa. It’s not common for someone to make it nearly a century & still have a lust for life, but Ted had it. He so badly wanted to stay, to be with my grandma, his kids, grand kids, great grand children. At his 92nd birthday party, this past April, it was a completely full house! Everyone who knew you, loved you, Grandpa. We are devastated by your absence.
So… this loss has all of us feeling quite broken. I want to acknowledge the unbelievable fact that at nearly 36 years old, I am just now losing my dear grandpa (& have several more living grandparents). I am aware, & deeply thankful for our family’s good fortune. That being said, it has not changed the weight of our collective grief.
Every body having an expiration date is just an unfair reality we all have to face. I will say, not every person we lose has this sort of impact. It goes to show how fragile & sweet life can be, while still holding space for how much can be achieved in 92 years & what an incredible legacy can be left behind. Long life is such a privilege.
I was able to spend time with my grandpa just over a week ago, the day he got set up at home in a hospice bed, placed next to his favorite chair in the living room. This was the best day I could have chosen to go see him, because he was as sharp as he always was, & was able to interact as if it were just another day. It was sunny & beautiful outside. I brought my baby, who sweetly played, which made us laugh a little bit & smile wide, Euan held tight around his finger when we said goodbye. This parallel of new life & near death hit me hard in that moment, & his last words to me, as we hugged each other, were “We’ve had some really good times, haven’t we?”
We really have.
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a p r i l advanced to may:
a bright serene may it was; days of blue sky, placid sunshine, and soft western or southern gales filled up its duration.
https://www.instagram.com/p/CrwgEo2vcGZ/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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