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Senior Year Shenanigans

This year marks my fourth year with the same roommates.

Now, living in our own apartment, things are a bit different than they when we were 18-year-old freshmen. 

We’ve experienced a lot together, to say the least, and getting to finish out undergrad with the same people I met on move-in day is something I’ll always be grateful for. 

One of our favorite traditions (there aren’t many) is our Secret Santa. And yes, it’s only been three years but it feels like a tradition to us so that’s what we call it. 

Next to my parents, these three know me better than most people, so the gifts are always so fun to exchange.

However, being the characters that we are, this year we decided that it was only right if we took it up a notch. So, that’s exactly what we’re doing. 

Not only are we doing a Secret Santa, we are going to be doing something we’ve talked about since a few months into our friendship.

A ‘family’ photoshoot. 

I wish we were kidding.

We will be going to JCPenney and having a full-blown Christmas photoshoot. 

Not a family of four, just a bunch of college best friends checking their biggest thing off of the bucket list. 

(here’s one of my tweets from over two years ago as some proof of just how serious we have been about this, haha) 

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Reunited and it feels so good

Today I was reunited with my best friend from home after a solid 3 months apart. 

College has taught me many things and one of the most important being that friends from high school are not always forever friends. Except Claire, that is. 

We talk every single day, and I’m convinced she’s my more level-headed, less emotional, counterpart. We balance each other out so well and being back in her presence for less than 24 hours has already affected my equilibrium. 

We are currently taking two hours to do homework right now before going to the gym--talk about a positive influence. 

My personal therapist, health coach, life partner, and now semi-formal date made her appearance for this weekend on her way home to Long Island for Thanksgiving break. 

She’s not only loved by me, but also my Binghamton roommates and best friends and her arrival in the 607 has had a positive influence on everyone she’s interacted with. 

Just feeling super thankful to have her here on this snowy Saturday afternoon.

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2018

Less than 50 days left in 2018 and I have one question.

HOW?

What did I do? Where did I go? Did I change? Grow? Learn anything?

I sure did. 

Maybe it’s the snow on the ground, or the fact that I already decorated my room for Christmas, but the end of the year feelings have officially set in and have me reflecting on all of the moments, events, and people this year has given me. 

From traveling to Europe, to getting my heart broken, this year has been filled with the highest of highs and lowest of lows. 

I’ve learned some of my strengths and learned some of my weaknesses.

I turned 21, got my first raise, and made new, amazing friendships.

I sulked in my bed, felt more stressed than ever, and lost my debit card, license, oh and expensive glasses (woo!)

With every up and every down came a lesson that I certainly don’t take for granted. 

2018 is a year of change. With change comes growth, however uncomfortable that growth may feel. 

I can’t help but wonder what these next 48 days will teach me. Hopefully lessons of how to ace my finals and successfully budget for a giving christmas, but only time will tell. 

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Bienvenidos a Miami

After accepting the fact that I wouldn’t be going on a classic spring break trip during my college years, today happened. Joking around with my three best friends turned into googling which then turned into booking sporadic cheap flights to Miami for this March, yay! 

*cue “Miami” by Will Smith* 

We have absolutely nothing else planned, but it doesn’t even matter. The thought of being somewhere warm after a Binghamton winter with my very best friends is too exciting too care about the other details.

Little moments like today make me remember why spontaneity is so important.

In the midst of a 21-year-old funk where days seem to go from good to not-so-great quicker than I’d like sometimes, today was a reminder of how quickly a day can go from mediocre to great.  

A real quality Friday :) 

Also, yes, the saving money portion of November is going very well so far in case you were wondering. 

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love this

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11 Things (continued)

..and we’re back. This blog post really is all over the place blog post but I’m enjoying writing about things I’m thinking about, especially things that make me happy, and honestly I’m pretty all over the place as a person, so I think it works!

6) I splurged ($7) on a new cupcake/muffin pan at Walmart today and I’m over the moon about it. I’ve always thought about buying one but talked myself out of it, but now here we are. This weekend is about to be full of baking. 

7) My friends!! I wish I could recount every single thing that they’ve done for me the past month to keep me sane and emotionally stable. I’m forever grateful for the people I’ve met here that make things like this easier. 

8) Rainy nights like tonight. It’s pouring and I’m cozy in bed with a candle burning feeling extremely content with this Friday. 

10) This quote (I’ll post after). It’s my new lock screen on my phone. 

11) I registered for classes the other day and am still in shock that I’m going into my last semester of undergrad. Four years flew. I am, without a doubt, feeling some senioritis, but I’m looking forward to what the future has in store. (hopefully an acceptance letter from Binghamton. What, who said that?!) 

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11 Things

One of my favorite bloggers (Amber Fillerup) makes posts every once in a while titled “12 things.” They don’t always have a rhyme or reason, but instead just highlight any little thoughts, pictures or random ideas that come to her mind while she’s writing the post. I’m feeling a bit of writer’s block on this late Thursday evening so I figured just jotting down a mishmosh of things would be fun. This is a blog, so why not. 

I’m going to make mine ‘11 things’ for a funky twist (my favorite number). 

1) November. God bless. The beginning of my two favorite months of the year and I could not be more excited.

2) Going off of #1, Starbucks Red cups are here! It’s the little things :)

3) I have a day off, finally! A crazy amount of work to catch up on, but no work and no class this Friday. 

4) I’m going to treat November as a month to start saving more money. (Ironic because I just mentioned 4 dollar coffee, lol) But, I really want to be more conscious of my money seen as I took “treat yourself post-breakup” a little too seriously. Woops. Hopefully I’ll actually take this seriously, stay tuned. 

5) The leaves are beautiful outside and it’s extremely cheesy but it’s reminding me that change is GOOD! 

On that note, I’m going to finish this post at a later date because I’m exhausted. 

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Jazzmans Booths

Ah, the infamous booths leading to Jazzmans. Freshman year, an older friend enlightened me of their value for the first time and the sheer luck it takes to snag one. 

I’ve been blessed a few times in my three and a half years here at Bing, and through that I’ve learned that I’m not even really a fan of these all-so-hyped-up booths. 

Yeah, they’re nice. The seats are comfortable. The proximity is ideal. They aren’t dead silent, and they aren’t awfully loud, either.

But they’re pretty distracting. The traffic that strolls by leads to more hello’s and how are you’s than I would like. 

Too bad, though! 

If you see a Jazzmans booth, you take it. And that’s what I did today. 

I felt like a superstar for the entire hour that I sat there and that’s pretty damn funny. The emphasis that I’ve built up around these 6 or so booths in the library that’s full of dozens of other seating choices.

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3 Weeks Time

3 weeks, 21 days. Not a full month, but close enough. 

I’m convinced college time isn’t always real. The weekdays go by slow, and the weekends way too fast. 

But time goes and goes and goes no matter its pace. It doesn’t stop for anyone. 

If I could tell you how many times I’ve heard the magic word “time” in the past three and a half weeks, you probably wouldn’t believe me. 

I occasionally roll my eyes and nod at the notorious ‘t’ word, the one almighty word that will mend my heart, clear my mind, and change what needs to be changed. 

In 21 short, but oh so long, days I’ve found myself transforming my hurting into healing, slowly that is. I’ve felt my mindset start to switch, my tears become less frequent, and my heart become less achey. 

I’ve pushed through the moments of the days I never thought would end.

I’ve enjoyed those that made me forget anything was ever wrong. 

I’ve daydreamed about being home for Thanksgiving, another much needed break from the place where this all went down. 

I’ve wondered how I be feeling then. How much better will I feel? Will anything have happened prior? Life has a fancy way of showing me not to expect anything in a world as unexpected as this. 

But, that’s only 3 weeks away, 21 days. Not a full month, but close enough.

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Perspective

I was scrolling through Pinterest the other day and found a quote that I loved. Ironically enough, it was the same day as our ‘letting go’ writing prompt that already had me thinking. 

I’ve always been an emotional person. I wear my heart on my sleeve. When I care, I care hard, and when I hurt, I hurt even harder. I always used to view it as a weak quality, making me more vulnerable to things and feelings that I don’t always want. 

The older I get, the more I come to realize that being “soft” and “emotional” are some of my favorite things about myself. I have a big heart, and what I’d like to believe is also a very strong one. I give 100% my feelings 100% of the time, something that not everyone can say. 

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:-)

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Like Mother, Like Daughter

For as long as I can remember my mom has always felt bad for the christmas trees that get left behind, feeling as if each one has it’s own heart. As the holiday approaches, her sighs get greater with each farm we pass, as if to signal that time is running out.

Now, miles away from my mom, and months away from Christmas, I find myself at the Cider Mill with my little broken heart and a craving for donuts. My friends and I mosey around the lot looking at the gourds, apples, and of course-pumpkins. We come across painted ones, and before I get a chance to process it, I find my inner mom speaking to me. 

“Everyone keep your eye out for a sad painted pumpkin,” I say, “if there’s one here, we’re buying it.”

Sure enough, I find myself an 8 dollar, crying pumpkin. I pick him up with the care of a newborn and giddily walk over to pay. 

Who comes to a pumpkin patch and buys a crying pumpkin? Nobody. Except for me. 

Getting countless laughs from my friends, they stage a photoshoot for me and my newest purchase. 

I send the photos to my mom and before I can follow with a text explaining my decision, she responds back as only a proud mother would. 

Guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree (a very loved, and appreciated Christmas tree, that is.)

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6 a.m. Yoga

The sky is black and the roads are empty. The shock of the crisp fall air gives us the necessary energy to make it to the studio. 

Ten of us meet in the 100-degree room before the rest of the world wakes up. The hour-long class allows us ample time to sweat out the stresses of the day prior. We watch our bodies form shapes in the reflection of the windows as we see the sky change from dark to light. 

“Don’t worry about what you have going on for the rest of the day, or what you failed to accomplish yesterday,” the instructor repeats, “focus on now.”

And that’s exactly what we do. Focus on now, on our bodies, on the gentle om that fills the room. We lose ourselves in the flows of the poses, giving up an hour of our days to ourselves and to each other. 

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Procrastinación

Language is crazy. (and I’m definitely overtired)

As an English and a Spanish major, I surprisingly don’t acknowledge it as much as you would think. But here I am on a Sunday night writing a 5-page Spanish essay last minute, catching myself thinking half in English and half in Spanish while casually typing away. 

To think that there are people that can do this in six, seven, eight languages. 

How. Crazy. 

Now, by no means am I fluent, or grammatically correct in every instance. I do, however, know a significant amount (at least enough to get me a Bachelor’s degree) and that’s pretty damn cool. I’ve always been fascinated by people who are bilingual and to say that one day I may also be one of them is quite exciting. 

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Home

There is no feeling quite like being home in the middle of the semester. In the midst of the craziness of midterms and everything else that comes with college, a taste of family and the comfort of home is exactly what i needed. As I sip my tea cuddled up with my dog, I decided to make a list of some of my favorite little things of being on Long Island for these few fall days.

-My parents. Obviously, these two (and my brother), are my favorite part of being home. They are thrilled to see me no matter what the occasion and never fail to make being home feel as comfortable and relaxing as it can be.

-My dogs. Scout’s little quirks and Lilly’s old, but wise demeanor always greet me with excitement even if I just run out to my car for two minutes. 

-Waking up to coffee already made. Being in college makes me so conditioned to making it on my own that the luxury of waking up to a pot already brewed is something I refuse to take for granted.

-Breakfast with Grandpa. Every week in the summer, my Grandpa and I make it a point to have a diner date. After a few weeks off, our vegetable omelette and pancakes tasted even sweeter this morning. 

-My own bed. It’s weird because I think my full bed in my apartment at school is much more comfortable than my little twin bed at home, but something about coming home to the freshly cleaned sheets and “home” blankets make it all that more cozy.

-Mom’s fall decor. My mom always makes the house look so adorable in the Fall and having the time to appreciate it for a few days is the best. 

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Feels

This blog is becoming more of a diary to document the mishaps that seem to be occurring in my life. I keep trying to remember that I’m a positive person but, I swear, lately it feels like someone up there is testing me. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? (LOL.)

It’s quite the experience to truly feel yourself maturing. Looking back on the past few years of college and the process of entering my twenties, I can easily see how all of the experiences have conglomerated to form me into the person I am today. It’s always great to reflect and see change, but this is something different. 

This semester (all 6 weeks of it) has thrown changes, challenges, and even heartbreak my way. Whilst in the midst of some of the most overwhelming and seemingly never-ending weeks, I keep catching my rational self acknowledging that I’ll be okay. I feel the emotional, erratic, defeated parts being assured by their motivational and promising counterparts. It’s as if I have an older, wiser portion of my brain and one that is just so damn dramatic, you just can’t seem to shut her up. 

It is crazy: actively feeling yourself grow through things, learning to cope with your own moshpit of emotions, and forming a new sense of empathy for others and most importantly for yourself.