mehreenkhan

[mehreenkhan]

i need to get back to my roots

[mehreenkhan]

Although the rain is neutral, although the rain is impersonal, it becomes for me a haunting and nostalgic sound.

Sylvia Plath, in a diary entry dated June 15 1951, featured in The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

[mehreenkhan]

When Khalil Gibran said, "Between what is said and not meant, and what is meant and not said, most love is lost"

When Jane Austen said, "And sometimes I have kept my feelings to myself, because I could find no language to describe them in."

When Fyodor Dostoevsky said, “Much unhappiness has come into world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid.”

And when Parveen Shakir said, “Jo dilon ke darmiyan hain fassle, kabhi zikr nahi, kabhi bat nahi.”

[mehreenkhan]

" give me a house with tall windows and white chiffon curtains, a warm kitchen hearth and the home of your even warmer arms. a little garden where we plant flowers and fruits together, laughing on lazy sunny days and read together with your head resting in my lap. "

"'مجھے لمبے کھڑکیوں اور سفید شفان کے پردوں کے ساتھ ایک گھر، ایک گرم باورچی خانے کی چولہا اور آپ کے اس سے بھی زیادہ گرم بازوؤں کا گھر دیں۔ ایک چھوٹا سا باغ جہاں ہم پھول اور پھل اکٹھے لگاتے ہیں، سست دھوپ کے دنوں میں ہنستے ہیں اور کتابیں پڑھتے ہیں جبکی آپکا سر میرے گود میں ہو "

[mehreenkhan]

Ofcourse sharing makes the pain go away but I understood the 'decency' of keeping some sorrows to yourself

When Parveen Shakir said "jo ġham milā hai bojh uThāyā hai us kā ḳhud ,

sar zer-e-bār-e-sāġhar-o-bāda nahīñ kiyā"

And Ahmad Faraz wrote "dukh fasāna nahīñ ki tujh se kaheñ "

ham ki dukh oḌh ke ḳhalvat meñ paḌe rahte haiñ ,ham ne bāzār meñ zaḳhmoñ kī numā.ish nahīñ kī

- Faraz

Another poet wrote " behadd sarbasta hai mujh gaafil ka dukh,log nahin samjhengey mere dil ka dukh.

[mehreenkhan]

I miss this community so much<3

[mehreenkhan]

sobbing rn

[mehreenkhan]

omg no Liam Payne 🕊

[mehreenkhan]

i don't wanna be on my phone but i need my phone to figure out where i'm going on a walk and i need my phone to get to my audiobook and i need my phone to call my brother and i need my phone to get in touch with my friends which is fine but i don't want to be on my phone.

so i walk and that's fine and i'm using the phone in an okay-way in that moment. but sometimes i am using the phone like it is a weapon and that's stupid because no it's not. ive seen a weapon those are different this is a phone. but it's also in my hands until 2 AM and i haven't slept. at 4AM. i don't even mean to do it half the time i'm opening the phone to check the weather or to check my email which are things-that-are-okay but then i am in my phone for hours somehow, and i missed the dawn while i was on instagram. i don't even like instagram.

i don't want to be on my phone im not good at it so i try to put distance there but then i'm distancing myself from my friends. we meet up in person but my pictures are on my phone and the menu is on the phone (mon dieu) and so is venmo. so i need the phone to be with my friends and that's fine because it can record concerts and fun activities and i can take pictures of them smiling with pumpkins.

but i don't want to be on the phone because i go to look at the pictures of the pumpkins and i hate how i look in it but it's fine. and somewhere between the pumpkins and 3AM i have lost so much time. i don't even know what i'm doing on it only that i don't enjoy it any longer. it is this long blank void. forever and ever. restless like how mushrooms feel restless beside a dead body.

i don't want to be on my phone so i pick up the phone and i type into google things to do in my area and i save them to my phone and i'll need my phone to get to the tickets and i'll need my phone to book the appointment and i'll need it, i'll need it

[mehreenkhan]

also new theme. wanted to do a b&w for so long.

[mehreenkhan]

I still haven't replied to the asks you all sent me nearly half a year ago I'm so sorry(I have stopped counting on my sorries(is that even a word)).

pls wait for me to get back my life again.

[mehreenkhan]

you all won’t believe I have like 59 drafts saved atm but don’t even have the energy to press ‘post’ like I'm that done with my life. the engagement is in shambles.

[mehreenkhan]

Alhamdulillah

nearly spat my tea out

(thank you tho)

[mehreenkhan]

i’m still alive btw (if you all even care)

[mehreenkhan]

When Kafka said ‘the separation into two people is unbearable’ and when Faiz said ‘phir dekhe hain vo hijr ke tapte hue din bhi, jab fikr-e-dil-o-jan mein fughan bhul gai hai’ and Faraz said ‘ham ke ruthi hui rut ko bhi mana lete the, ham ne dekha hi na tha mausam-e-hijran janan’

[mehreenkhan]

When Kafka said “I was living off your gaze” and when Faiz said “lut rahi hai meri mata-e-niyaz, kaash vo is taraf nazar kar de”

[mehreenkhan]

when kafka said “all the love in the world is useless when there is total lack of understanding” and when richard siken said “if you love me, you don’t love me in a way I understand” and george orwell wrote “perhaps one did not want to be loved so much as to be understood.”