melanie--king

[melanie--king]

NOT PEELED A REPEAT NOT PEELED

If your favorite podcast(s) had a catchphrase, what would it be?

[melanie--king]

reblog this if your account is a safe space for polyamorous and non-monag people or is owned by someone who is polyamorous or non-monogamous

op is a monogamous person who felt they haven't seen enough posts acknowledging this part of the queer community outside of non-monogamous circles and blogs

[melanie--king]

I'd be friends with him

sorry.

[melanie--king]

Any homophobe gets to Melanie with the Blue Hair and Pronouns™ and they just get stabbed by the closest object

i just think it'd be really funny if a homophobe went to the magnus institute to make a statement, and then got mad at one of the archive assistants for wearing a pride pin or smth and started the whole "who's your boss?" routine, only to find out that the chain of command just gets gayer and gayer.

oh you don't wanna deal with the friendly gay man just wearing a rainbow pin? then feel free to deal with his boss/boyfriend instead, a gnc asexual biromantic man with a vibe that can only be described as "of course you're constantly dealing with the horrors. and have pronouns".

oh, you wanna talk to the manager? have fun complaining about the gay agenda to a guy who gets funding for his institute from his sugar daddy, wears high heels just to make sure people can hear him walking around and know he's keeping an eye on them, and probably switches his gender up every once in a while just to keep the haters guessing.

[melanie--king]

"Can all of you hear this?! Am I going CRAZY?!?! ELIAS DID YOU FUCK WITH MY HEAD A SWEAR TO GOD I WILL RIP YOUR EYES OUT OF YOUR SKULL!!"

Ok ok so. Hear me OUT.

The magnus archives as a musical, plot and all is the same but y’know epic soundtrack and vocals (Jonny we know you can sing don’t hide from us)

Except the only character who’s self aware/meta about the singing is Melanie

She comes in to give a statement and is like “THREE PEOPLE HAVE SUNG TO ME WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT MUSIC COMING FROM IM GOING TO STAB EVERYONE HERE.”

She obviously does a couple songs also

PLUS!! Jon’s s5 smiting is him having a sing-off with the other avatars

[melanie--king]

Imagine pissing The Distortion off so much it just kicks you out of the funky door.

[melanie--king]

Northampton

My sister sent this to me, and as a lesbian in MA I can't say anything lmao

[melanie--king]

tearing my eyes out again /pos

[melanie--king]

Behold

I am being spoken through

The oracle has spoken

Timothy Stoker is a stoner. He smokes weed.

[melanie--king]

Hey so I’m super itchy like all the time, even beneath my skin. What’s ur thoughts on this?

Have you tried burning your skin? Or cutting it off?

[melanie--king]

(it's me I'm John)

I see a lot of 'Jon thinks he's broken because he's actually neurodivergent', but I raise to you my headcanon: Blissfully Ignorant Jon. He's antisocial and irritable, so he doesn't talk to people that much and most of his friends are also undiagnosed neurodivergent, and the topic usually doesn't come up much in conversation. But one day, somehow, he's ended up chatting with Sasha and mentions offhandedly "yeah I can't deviate from my schedule it makes me panic because I can't control it" and Sasha stares at him the same way trans people stare at people they're 90% sure are eggs. and proceeds to have a conversation that summons Tim from across the room due to Jon yelling "WHAT I THOUGHT EVERYONE WAS LYING" or "PEOPLE REALLY DO THAT?" every ten seconds. And then he continues on with his life with even more autism swag than before

[melanie--king]

No one asked for this but here I present to you:

The Magnus Archives Statements in Chronological Order!

Big thank you to og poster, that's the guide I followed putting together episodes, and of course season 5 is chronological. One note the original document did not have Mag 117 so I added it in before 118 because it's from Aug. 2 2017.

So here’s a fun new listening order: The Magnus Archives, in chronological order in which the statements were given. (I want to do in which the events of the statements happened, but that’s harder, because some people refuse to give clear dates.) (It’s like half of them, it’s very frustrating.) 

But! This does give some interesting insights into what’s going on in the Institute. Obviously the really interesting bit is the 1995-2015 time span where Gertrude is really out there getting shit done, but there are other fun things too (like remembering that Elias has been working at the Institute since before Jon was born (baby Archivist!))

I threw in some other relevant-to-the-Archives timeline as well, and discovered that I think I can narrow down the time frame for the Great Twisting and Michael’s…consumption…by the Spiral. According to MAG126, the Worker-in-Clay was still recruiting an assistant to come with him to Sannikovland in mid-2009, so it can’t have been before then. And in December of 2011, Gerry Keay was released from the hospital into the care of his mother, who’s been dead since 2008 so it was almost certainly Gertrude. He never mentions Michael or indeed any of her other assistants, so I tend to think they were all gone by the time he started working with her. So: Michael was probably fed to the Spiral sometime between October 2009 and Christmas 2011. 

(And I still can’t get over the fact that Gertrude disappeared the day after Oliver Banks made his statement.)

[melanie--king]

What if when Michael got Distortioned he/they/it/(?) had just kept showing up to work? Imagine Gertrude comes into the archives and finds a bunch of paperwork filled out in yellow highlighter and folded into impossible shapes, and then Michael-Distortion just walks into the room door-style and sits down at his work computer so it can email Gertrude a phishing scam.

[melanie--king]

guys I've never seen this one like named?? and terminal velocity?!?! thats fucking fantastic.

that's all

i think terminal velocity is such a fun ship because its like. yeah those dudes never interact but like. theyre both just so chill. thats the ship. wonderful.

[melanie--king]

oh my God "Mr Burns: A post electric play" guys please watch this or please read it it's so good it is the best thing I have ever performed in and it is so wild and the nuance and the storytelling are so amazing and the different time periods and how social interactions change with media and how are consumption of media changes and how media changes as time goes on as memory twist things and things get interchangeable with one another oh my God it's so cool

the fact that shakespeare was a playwright is sometimes so funny to me. just the concept of the "greatest writer of the English language" being a random 450-year-old entertainer, a 16th cent pop cultural sensation (thanks in large part to puns & dirty jokes & verbiage & a long-running appeal to commoners). and his work was made to be watched not read, but in the classroom teachers just hand us his scripts and say "that's literature"

just...imagine it's 2450 A.D. and English Lit students are regularly going into 100k debt writing postdoc theses on The Simpsons screenplays. the original animation hasn't even been preserved, it's literally just scripts and the occasional SDH subtitles.txt. they've been republished more times than the Bible

[melanie--king]

The entirety of Season 2 TMA

[melanie--king]

i'm actually so normal about taylor swift