meleeminer - Tumblr blog

[meleeminer]

[meleeminer]

can someone give me an actual logical reason as to why the world hasn't just accepted Mitski as their queen yet??

[meleeminer]

zodiac signs? in MY 2019?

dwarves - (march 21 - apr 19)

hobbits - (apr 20 - may 20)

nymphs - (may 21 - june 20)

angels - (june 21 - july 22)

dragons - (july 23 - aug 22)

mermaids - (aug 23 - sep 22)

banshees - (sep 23 - oct 22)

elves - (oct 23 - nov 21)

werewolves - (nov 22 - dec 21)

sirens - (dec 22 - jan 19)

vampires - (jan 20 - feb 20)

faeries - (feb 21 - march 20)

[meleeminer]

“Everything has changed and yet, I am more than I’ve ever been.”

— Iain Thomas // I Wrote This For You (via qvotable)

[meleeminer]

so like im here at this 1yo's birthday party and like im just standing here in my grateful dead shirt lol

[meleeminer]

hey wait no I take it bad rain come back plz

[meleeminer]

hey rain, shut up

[meleeminer]

I need to start a band...

[meleeminer]

god is a mushroom that I picked up on a dungeon wall and then I got fined 20 gold

[meleeminer]

remember when you were little and going to bed at like, 10 PM was absolutely insane

[meleeminer]

[meleeminer]

ok gee mom it's ok I can peel my own damn avocados

[meleeminer]

im baaacckkkk

[meleeminer]

I have been defeated by time yet again

enjoy the mere hours of sanity I shall grant you for I will return once adequately charged

[meleeminer]

rule 27592 of werewolf

Jed always dies first

[meleeminer]

HAHAHAH my brother doesn't get a fortune cookie LMAOOOOOOO

[meleeminer]

So… You wanna explore the Universe.

If you are reading this guide, then you and any potential peers want to leave the comfort and security of your warm mother star and expand into the cold, dark, and unforgivable void. A mistake, really, but I am not here to stop you; I am here to lay out some basic rules that you puny mortals must abide by.

Don’t ask questions you are not prepared to know the answer to.

There’s always bigger.

Never cross the Elder Gods.

Always remember rule 1.

Fusion based energy is your best friend. If you are still using fossil fuels then your species sucks. Period.

Speaking of fossil fuels, chemical based rockets suck. Try using space bending warp drives or quantum bridges. Light speed sucks, too.

It’s not a bad idea for your species to be genocidal xenophobic maniacs to everything but yourselves. Just make sure you have the firepower to back it up.

I highly recommend total unity within your species. If you are too busy fighting amongst yourselves, what are you going to do when Needledorp arrives?

Fear Needledorp.

Always remember rule 9.

If you find a desolate, rocky planet with the only inhabitant named “Frank”, avoid that planet at all costs. I don’t care if it’s rich in resources, just avoid it.

Some black holes are alive. They are aggressive. Do not pet the black holes.

It’s just like that, sometimes.

Make sure nothing is following you.

If you have an individual with psychic powers, expect them to go insane once they leave the confines of your mother star. Lock them up in a closet with a few markers and check up on them every once in a while. If they star my screaming about an entity named “Carol”, shoot them out the airlock. They will be the distraction.

Remember rule 1.

You are immortal until proven otherwise.

Any extraterrestrial rocks may have anomalous properties. Proceed with caution, or you may get space zombies or something.

Remember rule 13.

Make sure nothing is following you.

Violence may be an answer to a dispute with an extraterrestrial entity. Copulation is a last resort (control your thirst).

If bullets don’t work, punches will.

Remember rule 17.

Your objective: survive.

Babies are not food, they are weapons.

There are cheat codes.

Don’t ask about the cheat codes. Remember rule 1.

If the void is staring at you. Make it uncomfortable.

Avoid Frank. The anomalous one.

Remember rules 1, 2, and 3.