meleyys

[meleyys]

ppl who celebrate fictional character birthdays are annoying pass it on

[meleyys]

[meleyys]

if you are ever in Moldova let me know and maybe we will shag

you guys seeing this? i got hoes in moldova

[meleyys]

hi guys i was in jail but then the guards felt bald for me because i’m so handsome & special so they helped me escape. hope that’s ok

[meleyys]

[meleyys]

it's been almost 5 years and the edible still hasn't kicked in. what should i do

[meleyys]

love when fictional men are so devoted to their partner it makes them dangerous and insane. very slutty behavior keep it up king

[meleyys]

Honestly though on the subject of Merrill and Solas, the Solas haters can miss me with the "Merrill would destroy Solas". Merrill would pity Solas, if she knew. Which would bother him waaaay more than her hatred could.

[meleyys]

[meleyys]

Things that leveled me up as a Dyke Pt. 2

When I had dyke sex in the parking lot of the fire and brimstone church I grew up in

When a girl drew protective sigils on my arm for weeks after she overheard me tearing apart her old roommate for saying transphobic shit about her

When the sleep study doctor told me I have a medically large tongue and my wife shouted "I KNEW IT"

When the butch at the hardware store told me the shelf cutting machine broke and we spent 20min cutting shelves with bolt cutters for my wife's closet.

At the RenFaire, my wife tried the knife throwing but couldn't get it, then got huffy when I told her how to do it. She handed me the last knife and told me it's not that easy. I did not tell her I threw knives a lot as a kid, so with all her bags and jewelry balanced in one arm, I flipped the knife a couple times and sunk it into the wooden target guy. Felt like a damn hallmark movie and I loved it.

When an Aussie woman in a hotel lobby asked me to please please keep talking because she was fascinated by my american southern accent. I called her darlin and she blushed.

When my wife's grandfather was fine with her being a lesbian largely because I was such a big help with the cattle

When I moved an iron bedframe into the garden for my wife's coworker and she asked how long we'd been together. The answer was that morning. We'd been going steady for about an hour.

When I taught my wife how to waltz

[meleyys]

It will get cold again eventually. The summer will not last forever. I’m not doomed to live in this unbearable heat for all eternity. <- said while gripping the countertop so hard that the tile is starting to crack

[meleyys]

explain your gender in 10 words or less without using boring words like “male”, “female”, “nonbinary”, “masculine”, “feminine” or “androgynous”.

go!

[meleyys]

CYBERPUNK 2077: Phantom Liberty (2023) dev. CD Projekt RED

[meleyys]

The problem with playing smash or pass is that there's a lot of characters which I'm not sexually attracted to but I would fuck in a heartbeat out of sheer curiosity and ego, like I don't find Mickey Mouse attractive at all but if he approached me at a bar and went "Hey sexy, want me to show you my mouseketool?" I would say yes because then I get to tell my friends I fucked Mickey Mouse

[meleyys]

Im in the middle of waterless shampooing alex and i cant get over how dumb he looks fhfhfbvf my poor clean rat son

Bonus tiny blep

[meleyys]

[meleyys]

told my roommate dracula was an epistolary novel because it’s made up of letters and she was like. of course it’s made of letters it’s a book