melincoly-hill-explored

[melincoly-hill-explored]

No words

Murdoc x GN!Reader

Note: I did this on a school Chromebook

Word count: 469

Cw: Murdocs pov, literally no words spoken by characters to eachother, mentions and fear of physical abuse aka hitting(on murdocs side), reader doesn't actually try and hit murdoc, murdoc is paranoid, anxiety, crying, I dunno say something if I need to ad more

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I watched as you paced the floor, the ground of my love shack on wheels groaning under your pacing. I sat stiff in the Winnies red leather cushion seat. My head in my hands, elbows resting on my knees. The upside down cross that hangs from my neck sways with the rise and fall of my chest, the only other part of me in motion were my eyes. My eyes were glossy, which was a sharp contrast to the stinging dryness of the rims of my eyelids, I couldn't take my eyes off you, not even to blink, my retinas following your movement with precision unusual in comparison to my lazy smugness, which was now replaced with a hollow took. I couldn't be seen if there was nothing to see.

That was a stark contrast to you. You. You and your… feelings. You could've just left, honestly. I would've been the first in line to slam the door behind you, you refused though. You were like a leach, no, you were more desperate than a leach, a persistent beggar maybe? Begging for love instead of money. I would've preferred the latter, to tell you the truth. Hindsight at least Ihad the latter, don't have much of the former… I think… well, whatever, you were being dramatic in the first place. It was childish, the hot tears that streamed down your face, the globs of snot that poured down your lips, as you wailed.

No words were needed to get the memo. You cries conveyed your guttural agony, it was so visceral in you you thought I'd stabbed you. There was no blood in sight but your heart still bled, and it was obvious by your banshee like sobs. It made my stomach churned, stomach bile swam thickly in my stomach. I had to fight off a scowl. I mean, how dare you…. How dare you make me feel this way, you fucking deceptive cunt. My blood simmered. You, you whORE YOU BITCH, THE HEL- my rage was spoiled by your movement.

Breaking your mindless pacing you broke off your track and stepped closer to me. My stomach lurched, I pressed myself back into the red leather, it's color, a stark contrast from my putrid skin. Flinching away, I tucked my head down into my arms that had moved to cover my head, my knees jerking up. I waited.

Waited for the pain.

For the impact.

The smack.

But it never came.

Instead a soft sweaty palm placed on my back, wobbly arms pulling me close, as you dug your face into my hair, snot and tears mixing with it. And you sat there, we sat there… the only sound was your silent sobs, and sniffles.

God damn it.

I think I'd rather you'd hit me.

Pains better than guilt.

[melincoly-hill-explored]

Forgor to say my request(on this account) are open

[melincoly-hill-explored]

Denial and a refusal to accept

Murdoc x reader

Word counter: 341

CW: mental health, drinking, nightmares, implying past physical abuse?, fear, fear of violence, Murdoc fell on his face, therapy, drunk, alcohol, refusal to get help or acknowledge the issue

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He layed on the ground of the parking lot, face doce down, too stupidly drunk to walk straight.

"See what I mean, this isn't healthy? You have FUCKING ISSUES!"

"M'finneeee..."

"No your not! Why did you quit seeing her? She was helping you!"

"I didn't need her..."

Murdoc had left his therapist, ANOTHER THERAPIST!

He would get sober and you would convince him to get help, and he would.

...but then he would start drinking again...

Then he would be convinced he was fine.

WHEN HE WASN’T

So here you were trying to pull him back to his feet, figuratively and literally. His arm slung over your shoulder as he put his weight on you, blood dripping from his nose, disheveled.

You helped him into the winniebego, setting him down on one of the red foux leather seats.

You watched as he sunk into into the seat, the tension in his body finally giving.

"So we gonna talk about this what... hmm?

"Baby there's nothing to talk about"

You cringe at his his slurred speech

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!"

Murdoc flinched as you raised you voice, his eyes squeezed shut, his teeth grit, as if waiting for impact, the sight softened you, a pang of guilt hitting you.

You sighed, smoothing the crease in your forehead. You leaned against the the wall across from him.

"You wake up at night crying, scared shirtless, you drink like your trying to kill yourself. And seeing you try and get out of bed in the morning is depressing in itself..."

Murdoc winged at your words as he stayed silent, his eyes landing on the picture of him and his father. You followed his gaze and sighed.

"I'm f-"

"You're not fine..."

"..."

"Do you have anything to say for yourself? Huh?"

Murdoc opened his mouth just for nothing to come out he just muttered swears and getting up and hobbling off to lay in his bed, back turned to you.

And with that... you knew it was time for you to take your leave.

[melincoly-hill-explored]

Infidelity and a pattern

Note: Really fucking short blurb

Murdoc x GN! Reader

CW: infidelity, cheating, cheating on anniversary, mention of hooker, found out cheating, history of cheating

Word count: 116

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I sat there, mind blank, tired, just oh so tired.

What was this?

The fifth time... fifth time I've caught him at least.

Blue light shines on my face as I sit there, baggy shirt with HIS face on it.

Legs hanging off the bed, ass firmly planted on his real Egyptian silk sheets.

His laptop in my lap, his chat history on the screen.

No wonder he never let's anyone on his laptop, not even me...

even after three long years...

3 exhausting years of my life... 3 years of 'mistakes' and 3 years of forgiveness...

And he misses our anniversary... to fuck a hooker...

And the worst part is.. I know I'll forgive him

[melincoly-hill-explored]

Master post

I'm not gonna get into much detail about me and stuff. If you want to learn more about me, then visit my main blog.

╰┈➤ Can-ya-guess-my-current-obsession

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Purpose:

I have a lot of opinions and thoughts on the gorillaz characters. Especially Murdoc. I personally have a more unpleasant interpretations of him personally and have some things I want to do with the other characters, but with how I've established my main blog, I'm not comfortable changing how I write them there.

But I'm deeply fascinated by darker interpretations of the characters, the first gorillaz fics I ever read were angst so I carry around a lot of that with me

This is also partially a blog to help me cope with my issues by exploring my anger and hurt through the lenz of gorillaz, so please don't judge

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Rules:

-I can break my own rules if I want, you can't

-I would appreciate if folks under the age of 16 wouldn't interact, because I can't guarantee how hard-core I might go on the angst

-Please please oh please, do not take the angst as a means of romanticizing violence. The shit I want to write about is not okay -this blogs aim is to evoke emotions in you

-I strive for canon compliance but for the sake of angst I may give wiggle room

-it doesn't have to be angst, I just like to post a lot of independent angst blurbs

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I will write:

-Abuse/Violence(I do not endorse this, this is strictly a work of fiction that is ment to help us explore our darker feeling)

-SH

-Short angsty blurbs

- x reader

-comfort

- Will right M!, F!, GN!, FtM, MtF, etc..(If you don't tell me the gender I will assume GN!)

-Lgbtq

-I write For Murdoc, Ace, 2D, fuck it maybe Sebastian or Hannibal if I'm feeling it

-Yandere

-death

-character pov

I won't write:

-Nothing about SA(I may touch on it due to murdocs cannon past of being molested)

-no sex or outright NSFW, I my touch on it or imply it but I will not outright write it

-At the moment I am not writing HC's, only short blurbs

-Character x character, I'm sorry, I'm not that much of a shipper

-Religion(except for touching on murdocs Satanism)

-Russel or Noodle angst, I just don't feel confident enough to write angst for them

-Suicide

-No pedo shit or incest

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Probably edit this later, this the basics rn