mellifluouslust

[mellifluouslust]

i need them to leave me because im so dependent on them and needy and my mental health is gonna ruin me and then ruin them please its for the best but i love them so fucking much and i cant live without them

[mellifluouslust]

asking genuine question how long does it usually take for styros to heal? bcs its summer soon and im scared 😭😭

[mellifluouslust]

im considering relapse and i dont want anyone to talk me out of it or say “youve been sober for a year!!!” because i dont care i miss the cuts and i miss the scars

[mellifluouslust]

i feel as though my mental illness is very visible

[mellifluouslust]

cvtting is fun too bad i stopped

[mellifluouslust]

literally dont get how people find me pretty?? im really not can you stop

[mellifluouslust]

kinda wish i could fail killing myself so i could go to hospital and everyone would care and treat me better

[mellifluouslust]

the urge to kill myself after someone shit talks me so they get upset because they werent nice to me and the next day i killed myself

AND i could add them specifically in my note, salt in the wound (i am mentally ill)

[mellifluouslust]

notice i am mentally deteriorating comfort me you know im not good right now you dont even give a shit

[mellifluouslust]

literally baffling when someone loves me like how did I???? make an impact on YOU????

[mellifluouslust]

idk if its because i have school tomorrow but i have never wanted to die more than i do rn

[mellifluouslust]

itd be fun to post poetry on here

[mellifluouslust]

i need some actual advice on this but where are good places to cut that still bleed but arent visible to like anyone?

[mellifluouslust]

i find it so unbearably insane and ridiculous to have people love me. like what do you mean youre devoted to me, and care for me, and love me?