melodicarias - Tumblr blog

[melodicarias]

Okay I’m ready to get into the article I shared in this post. “The Trans Guy’s Guide to Picking Up a Trans Girl”, by Gabe Dunn. It was posted on the 18th of this month, so 2 days ago now, and I’m counting the days until it’s removed from the site it was published on. It’s as bad as the title implies, but in the same spirit I’ve been indulging recently of pointing out transmisogyny I figured I’d go through the specifics. We’re just going to take it section by section, so get ready for a long post under the cut 

What a fantastic introduction. I know this is a pickup guide and so already is sending up red flags, but the portrayal of trans women as something only memorable as objects of sexual or romantic attraction sits especially uneasy. Especially when every word in the second paragraph could have been lifted directly from subreddit mtf stereotypes. 

“You’re in luck, brother” is what you say to your buddy who got an extra-nice rental car, not about meeting a flesh-and-blood human being. While I understand and agree with the basic sentiment here of how affirming t4t relationships can be, the paragraph ends on a low note by prioritizing sex again. an alternate title for this article could have been "how to fulfill that dickgirl fetish that takes up half your porhub search history"

(I am going to start using that line though. Hey girl, are you thinking about your body in an unconventional way in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? )

Also the uwu-ification of the audience in this article is tragically hilarious, because it rings so true that a trans man wouldn’t even know how to talk to a trans woman and would only care to learn once he wants sex. Please, Gabe, help them! 

 of course, it wouldn't be a true pickup guide if the subject of your sexist affections weren't some stranger you've just seen for the first time and never even introduced yourself to. I also love that the author has the foresight to put up the divisive walls between himself and "cis men" early I see. Excellent strategy for when he has to beat the (trans)misogyny allegations later on, and it serves the dual purpose of forming a shallow, gender-essentialist connection to build on! Hooray! Except I hate to say it buddy, but myself and half the trans women I know are still wearing the same underwear from yesterday. I’m beginning to suspect that you are just imagining dicks on cis women you see walking down the streets of los angeles. Or, as the third paragraph reveals, maybe it’s simply that any trans woman who you would notice and care about would have to have plastic surgery and a full face on to be worth it. 

Side note: if any trans guy came up to me and introduced themself with anything similar to “well, when I was a woman…” I would immediately assume that person to be a fed. 

The first step to being “more specific than a cis man could ever muster”, clearly, is to remember that you can’t sexualize them (i mean her) too early! I know you want to soooo bad, but you have to wait! There’s time for that later (which, again, really pierces the thin veneer of this being about anything other than sex). But even then, as long as its “mostly non-sexual” its okay! You can have little an objectification as a treat.

This is untrue, no one does that. He is making these women up. 

Lol. lmao even. Have you seen their author picture on the website. 

Given the context of the article, this is just telling you to lie! 

Now that you’ve introduced yourself to a stranger and given her one mostly non-sexual compliment, confess your feelings to her. Make sure the gap between these two things is as small as possible. 

I will admit that I’m oblivious to people asking me out or flirting with me. Gabe’s got me on that one. But thinking that knowing you’re a trans man will make me LESS afraid of coming out having negative repercussions might be the most tone-deaf thing I’ve read this year. 

Remember to make use of all those annoying words she was saying before you asked her out so she thinks you actually care about her interests. Or, if you have nothing in common and she’d have no reason to hang out with you, use that flimsy connection of both being trans! Surely that will work in this queer-event flooded californian utopia you live in, I know she’s dying to go out to a “trans thing” with some trans guy she hardly knows. He even frames it “as advantage over cis men”; it’s just a tool to get her into the bedroom. 

Also. the dolls?? THE DOLLS? Not only have I never curated my instagram in my life, but my next post is going to be me curb stomping this guy for calling trans women dolls. Don’t do it. 

And again with the distinction away from cis men. As though every trans man who has ever asked me out hasn’t done it in the most spineless way imaginable. I had one guy ask me if I wanted to fuck through the fucking secrecy text message effect. Come on. 

If someone I barely knew brought me flowers on a first date I’d see it as pushy and over-the-top, not romantic. Maybe that’s just me, but it’s a yellow flag at best. Even if they’re the most hypoallergenic, cat-friendly, low-fragrance selection from krogers. I also like how the given alternatives are just normal, considerate things to do. There is a disconnect somewhere, Gabe. Also all of the san francisco liberal woke-ism virtue signaling makes me sick. Make sure to have a sober option (in case she’s one of those “recovering addict” trannies)! 

Sigh. not everyone lives in california, Gabe. what about the midwest girlies. There’s one queer-owned bookstore in my gf’s entire state. The lip-service to “if you’re not on the west coast, just find something shitty and keep milking that superficial connection” is also not the vibe. I can’t think of a worse first date than a dingy “LGBT event” that sucks. Not only because those aren’t historically accepting of trans women, but also because shitty LGBT events are a particular kind of soul-draining. The fried pickles comment is too blatant to even comment on. 

Your other option: stalk her socials, since we all know you weren’t really listening to her earlier! Knowing everything about her before your date even starts will clearly show her how unthreatening and normal you are. And since women can only have one personality trait, it should be easy!

The raw sexism and heteronormativity of this article is really baffling, but also incredibly indicative of the queer communities our pal Gabe probably frequents. 

The big thing in this section, though, is OBVIOUSLY the simultaneous ego-stroking of how trans women will be less likely to assume you’ll coerce them into sex if they’re alone with you AND complaining that trusting you over a cis man is “sexist”. Why did you choose the word sexism, Gabe, when we can all clearly tell you meant to say “transandrophobia”. Not to mention that you disprove your own point immediately after: “we can use a little social conditioning to our advantage” is not something a man who is safe to be around would say.

I’m surprised he is able to mention a fridge without jumping on a monster energy sponsorship. Remarkable restraint, Gabe, especially with every other mtf stereotype endorsement you’re peddling here. 

And remember if you bring to an even with other people, make sure everyone knows she’s there with you, and keep her engaged in conversation so she doesn’t wander off and talk to people on her own. Can’t have her realizing where the actual cool people at this party hang out! 

I had to double-check the date of publishing because reading this first paragraph I thought surely it was written in 2018. “We live in a society”. Jesus. And gabe seems upset by this because… it means he has to put in another modicum of effort if he wants to keep his trans woman on the hook? 

Just say she stayed the night to fuck. We all know that’s what this article is about. We all know it. Just own it. God Gabe you’re such a fucking pussy. At least say it with your chest! 

And the clincher: if you remember that she’s a person and find out that she has interests outside of your narrow expectations, that’s okay! You can always dump her and use your transgender powers to pick up another one. 

Final Thoughts

this article is horrible. It’s sexist, transmisogynistic, and just fucking bad advice. Luckily, the comments are already ripping our lovely author Gabe a new one. They’re very funny to read, I highly recommend them. 

The sad thing about this article is that it’s earnest, and I know plenty of trans men who will take it as genuine advice, thus perpetuating the problems of transmisogyny in our communities. If you’re a trans guy and reading this, here is some actual dating advice: just talk to her. Learn about her. Actually find things you have in common, take an active interest in her hobbies. Let her infodump at you and actually respond to it, interact with it. Respect her boundaries, and dont bring up her dick unless she does first. 

And if you see someone like gabe in the wild, spill your drink on them. 

[melodicarias]

Seeing tumblr users tag their blorboposts with "gay panic" is making me insane. This term does not mean what you all think it means.

[melodicarias]

[melodicarias]

ADHD Gay

A flag exclusive to gay people with attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder

@yay-im-a-catgirl @accessmogai

[melodicarias]

flag id: three flags with 7 stripes. the left flag's stripes are soft green, sky blue, medium dark indigo, very dark purple, medium dark indigo, sky blue, and soft green. the middle flag's stripes are soft blue, pink, medium dark purple, very dark purple, medium dark purple, pink, and soft blue. the right flag's stripes are soft red, pink-purple, medium dark purple, very dark purple, medium dark purple, pink-purple, and soft red. end id.

banner id: a 1600x200 teal banner with the words ‘please read my dni before interacting. those on my / dni may still use my terms, so do not recoin them.’ in large white text in the center. the text takes up two lines, split at the slash. end id.

subjebutch | subjefutch | subjefemme

subjebutch: one who wants to be the subject of butch attraction

subjefutch: one who wants to be the subject of futch attraction

subjefemme: one who wants to be the subject of femme attraction

[pt: subjebutch: one who wants to be the subject of butch attraction

subjefutch: one who wants to be the subject of futch attraction

subjefemme: one who wants to be the subject of femme attraction. end pt]

butch, futch, and femme subjattraction terms for anon!

tags: @radiomogai, @liom-archive, @macchiane, @genderstarbucks, @sugar-and-vice-mogai

tags cont: @freezingnarc, @skrimbliest, @seraphtrix, @orientation-archive, @fem-mogai

dni link

[melodicarias]

flag id: a flag with 7 stripes, which are light pink, pink, dark faded purple, very dark purple, dark faded purple, faded blue, and light blue. end id.

banner id: a 1600x200 teal banner with the words ‘please read my dni before interacting. those on my / dni may still use my terms, so do not recoin them.’ in large white text in the center. the text takes up two lines, split at the slash. end id.

subji(sexual): one who wants to be the subject of bi(sexual) attraction

[pt: subji(sexual): one who wants to be the subject of bi(sexual) attraction. end pt]

for anon! the outer stripes are adjusted from the bi flag and the inner purple stripe represents the desire to be the object of this attraction.

tags: @radiomogai, @orientation-archive | dni link

[melodicarias]

flag id: two flags with 7 stripes. the left flag's stripes are light red-pink, faded pink, dark faded blue, very dark purple, dark faded blue, faded pink, and light red-pink. the right flag's stripes are pale cyan, dull green, dark dull purple, very dark purple, dark dull purple, dull green, and pale cyan. end id.

banner id: a 1600x200 teal banner with the words ‘please read my dni before interacting. those on my / dni may still use my terms, so do not recoin them.’ in large white text in the center. the text takes up two lines, split at the slash. end id.

subjophian | subjamian

subjophian: one who wants to be the subject of sophian attraction

subjamian: one who wants to be the subject of jamian attraction

[pt: subjophian: one who wants to be the subject of sophian attraction

subjamian: one who wants to be the subject of jamian attraction. end pt]

for anon! the outer stripes are adjusted from the sophian and jamian flags and the inner purple stripe represents the desire to be the object of this attraction.

tags: @radiomogai, @orientation-archive | dni link

[melodicarias]

flag id: two flags with 7 stripes. the left flag's stripes are light golden yellow, soft green, medium dark faded purple, very dark purple, medium dark faded purple, soft green, and light golden yellow. the right flag's stripes are light pink, indigo, medium dark blue, very dark purple, medium dark blue, indigo, and light pink. end id.

banner id: a 1600x200 teal banner with the words ‘please read my dni before interacting. those on my / dni may still use my terms, so do not recoin them.’ in large white text in the center. the text takes up two lines, split at the slash. end id.

subjai | subjayt

subjai: one who wants to be the subject of gai attraction

subjayt: one who wants to be the subject of strayt attraction

[pt: subjai: one who wants to be the subject of gai attraction

subjayt: one who wants to be the subject of strayt attraction. end pt]

for anon! the outer stripes are adjusted from the gai and strayt flags and the inner purple stripe represents the desire to be the object of this attraction.

tags: @radiomogai, @orientation-archive | dni link

[melodicarias]

flag id: two flags with 7 stripes. the left flag's stripes are very light teal, soft turquoise, faded blue, very dark purple, faded blue, soft turquoise, and very light teal. the right flag's stripes are very light yellow, sky blue, blue, very dark purple, blue, sky blue, and very light yellow. end id.

banner id: a 1600x200 teal banner with the words ‘please read my dni before interacting. those on my / dni may still use my terms, so do not recoin them.’ in large white text in the center. the text takes up two lines, split at the slash. end id.

subjeptunic | subjuranic

subjeptunic: one who wants to be the subject of neptunic attraction

subjuranic: one who wants to be the subject of uranic attraction

[pt: subjeptunic: one who wants to be the subject of neptunic attraction

subjuranic: one who wants to be the subject of uranic attraction. end pt]

for anon! the outer stripes are adjusted from the neptunic and uranic flags and the inner purple stripe represents the desire to be the object of this attraction.

tags: @radiomogai, @orientation-archive | dni link

[melodicarias]

flag id: two flags with 7 stripes. the left flag's stripes are very light golden yellow, soft orange, brown, very dark purple, brown, soft orange, and very light golden yellow. the right flag's stripes are pale green, teal, dark indigo, very dark purple, dark indigo, teal, and pale green. end id.

banner id: a 1600x200 teal banner with the words ‘please read my dni before interacting. those on my / dni may still use my terms, so do not recoin them.’ in large white text in the center. the text takes up two lines, split at the slash. end id.

subjolian | subjunian

subjolian: one who wants to be the subject of solian attraction

subjunian: one who wants to be the subject of lunian attraction

[pt: subjolian: one who wants to be the subject of solian attraction

subjunian: one who wants to be the subject of lunian attraction. end pt]

for anon! the outer stripes are adjusted from the solian and lunian flags and the inner purple stripe represents the desire to be the object of this attraction.

tags: @radiomogai, @orientation-archive | dni link

[melodicarias]

my evil chalice came in but its so fucking small. goddamnit. they're going to make fun of me at the wizards circle tonight

[melodicarias]

flag id: a flag with 7 stripes, which are light yellow, soft indigo, dark faded indigo, very dark purple, dark faded indigo, soft indigo, and light yellow. end id.

banner id: a 1600x200 teal banner with the words ‘please read my dni before interacting. those on my / dni may still use my terms, so do not recoin them.’ in large white text in the center. the text takes up two lines, split at the slash. end id.

subjenbian: one who wants to be the subject of enbian attraction

[pt: subjenbian: one who wants to be the subject of enbian attraction. end pt]

for anon! the outer stripes are from the enbian flag and the inner purple stripe represents the desire to be the object of this attraction.

tags: @radiomogai, @orientation-archive | dni link

[melodicarias]

flag id: two flags with 7 stripes. the left flag's stripes are light yellow, soft copper brown, dark faded pink, very dark purple, dark faded pink, soft copper brown, and light yellow. the right flag's stripes are dull light red-orange, faded medium dark cyan, dark faded pink, very dark purple, dark faded pink, faded medium dark cyan, and dull light red-orange. end id.

banner id: a 1600x200 teal banner with the words ‘please read my dni before interacting. those on my / dni may still use my terms, so do not recoin them.’ in large white text in the center. the text takes up two lines, split at the slash. end id.

subjellian | subjesrien

subjellian: one who wants to be the subject of stellian attraction

subjesrien: one who wants to be the subject of mesrien attraction

[pt: subjellian: one who wants to be the subject of stellian attraction

subjesrien: one who wants to be the subject of mesrien attraction. end pt]

more subjattractions! the outer stripes are from the stellian and mesrien flags and the inner purple stripe represents the desire to be the object of this attraction.

tags: @radiomogai, @liom-archive, @orientation-archive, @macchiane, @genderstarbucks

tags cont: @sugar-and-vice-mogai, @freezingnarc, @skrimbliest, @seraphtrix

dni link

[melodicarias]

flag id: two flags with 7 stripes. the left flag's stripes are pale red, silver, dark faded turquoise, very dark purple, dark faded turquoise, silver, and pale red. the right flag's stripes are light sky blue, grey, dark faded red, very dark purple, dark faded red, grey, and light sky blue. end id.

banner id: a 1600x200 teal banner with the words ‘please read my dni before interacting. those on my / dni may still use my terms, so do not recoin them.’ in large white text in the center. the text takes up two lines, split at the slash. end id.

subjetisian | subjelvian

subjetisian: one who wants to be the subject of metisian attraction

subjelvian: one who wants to be the subject of kelvian attraction

[pt: subjetisian: one who wants to be the subject of metisian attraction

subjelvian: one who wants to be the subject of kelvian attraction. end pt]

more subjattractions! the outer stripes are from the metisian and kelvian flags and the inner purple stripe represents the desire to be the object of this attraction.

tags: @radiomogai, @liom-archive, @orientation-archive, @macchiane, @genderstarbucks

tags cont: @sugar-and-vice-mogai, @freezingnarc, @skrimbliest, @seraphtrix

dni link

[melodicarias]

flag id: two flags with 7 stripes. the left flag's stripes are light silver, faded blue, medium dark faded red, very dark purple, medium dark faded red, faded blue, and light sliver. the right flag's stripes are light seafoam green, bright red-pink, medium dark purple, very dark purple, medium dark purple, bright red-pink, and light seafoam green. end id.

banner id: a 1600x200 teal banner with the words ‘please read my dni before interacting. those on my / dni may still use my terms, so do not recoin them.’ in large white text in the center. the text takes up two lines, split at the slash. end id.

subjyke | subjefag

subjyke: one who wants to be the subject of dyke attraction

subjefag/subjaggot: one who wants to be the subject of fag(got) attraction

[pt: subjyke: one who wants to be the subject of dyke attraction

subjefag/subjaggot: one who wants to be the subject of fag(got) attraction. end pt]

 dyke and fag(got) subjattraction terms for anon!

tags: @radiomogai, @liom-archive, @macchiane, @genderstarbucks, @sugar-and-vice-mogai

tags cont: @freezingnarc, @skrimbliest, @seraphtrix, @orientation-archive

dni link

[melodicarias]

flag id: two flags with 7 stripes. the left flag's stripes are light orange, soft orangish-red, medium dark faded red-pink, very dark purple, medium dark faded red-pink, soft orangish-red, and light orange. the right flag's stripes are periwinkle, soft blue, dark faded sky blue, very dark purple, dark faded sky blue, soft blue, and periwinkle. end id.

banner id: a 1600x200 teal banner with the words ‘please read my dni before interacting. those on my / dni may still use my terms, so do not recoin them.’ in large white text in the center. the text takes up two lines, split at the slash. end id.

subjistian | subjespian

subjistian: one who wants to be the subject of calistian attraction

subjespian: one who wants to be the subject of despian attraction

[pt: subjistian: one who wants to be the subject of calistian attraction

subjespian: one who wants to be the subject of despian attraction. end pt]

more subjattractions! the outer stripes are from the calistian and despian flags and the inner purple stripe represents the desire to be the object of this attraction.

tags: @radiomogai, @liom-archive, @orientation-archive, @macchiane, @genderstarbucks

tags cont: @sugar-and-vice-mogai, @freezingnarc, @skrimbliest, @seraphtrix

dni link

[melodicarias]

flag id: two flags with 7 stripes. the left flag's stripes are light red-orange, faded cyan, dark faded blue, very dark purple, dark faded blue, faded cyan, and light red-orange. the right flag's stripes are periwinkle, dull green, dark faded sky blue, very dark purple, dark faded sky blue, dull green, and periwinkle. end id.

banner id: a 1600x200 teal banner with the words ‘please read my dni before interacting. those on my / dni may still use my terms, so do not recoin them.’ in large white text in the center. the text takes up two lines, split at the slash. end id.

subjelian | subjederic

subjelian: one who wants to be the subject of strelian attraction

subjederic: one who wants to be the subject of slederic attraction

[pt: subjelian: one who wants to be the subject of strelian attraction

subjederic: one who wants to be the subject of slederic attraction. end pt]

more subjattractions! the outer stripes are from the strelian flag and this slederic flag and the inner purple stripe represents the desire to be the object of this attraction.

tags: @radiomogai, @liom-archive, @orientation-archive, @macchiane, @genderstarbucks

tags cont: @sugar-and-vice-mogai, @freezingnarc, @skrimbliest, @seraphtrix

dni link