melophile3

[melophile3]

If i was a movie producer/writer, I would make a very serious horror/thriller that ends on a cliffhanger, and the sequel would be a silly romcom.

[melophile3]

Walking away from someone while you are still in love is a different kind of pain. Don't speak to me about moving on until you've had to leave behind everything your heart ever wanted.

[melophile3]

Im still moots with one of the guys from my uni and like whenever im scrolling through reels and something unhinged pops up i just know im gonna see his pfp floating around with a lil heart i absolutely love that guy

[melophile3]

Guys think im missing out bc im waiting for marriage but i know they're missing out bc im a freak

[melophile3]

I miss you in quiet ways—in skipped songs, in sunsets that don’t feel right, in jokes I can't tell anyone else.

[melophile3]

Franz Kafka, from a letter to Milena Jesenka featured in "Letters to Milena,

[melophile3]

[melophile3]

The stars are not wanted now; put out every one, 

Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun, 

W. H. Auden, Funeral Blues

[melophile3]

I do ask for help, I scream for it too.

With song lyrics in a language my friends don't understand,

On apps I know none of my friends know about,

By writing on papers that never leave my bag,

I want to be understood, I want someone to understand how terrible I feel all the time, I want someone to notice, I want to be seen, but I'm so terrified of being known

[melophile3]

Can I still be a hopeless romantic even with the red string of fate slowly becoming a noose around my neck?

Can I still love love even as it makes me hate myself more and more?

Can I love? And be loved?

Can I be loved?

[melophile3]

If I must have a future, I want it with you

But to my older sister

[melophile3]

One day, surely, eventually, we'll fade away until nothing but the vague memory of a dream is left.

I know that the stars, the songs, and the rising sun will always carry a faint whisper, a memory, but I'll learn to turn a blind eye.

There will be a day where I'll look up at the stars fondly again.

[melophile3]

always an afterthought.

[melophile3]

The thing is, i dont regret my decision. I wouldn't go back on my word after what I said. I still believe and know that I've done the right thing.

But that doesn't mean that I don't miss you desperately. You were the best thing that ever happened to me, and you will remain so even if years pass without us talking again.

I just miss you. It doesn't necessarily mean I want you back.

[melophile3]

Stop trying to keep us alive

You're pointing at stars in the sky that already died

Me to my heart.

[melophile3]

Being so close and yet so far away.

You're here, sitting just one table away from me. You're so close

I can hear you breathing, i can see you out of the corner of my eye

I can feel your presence

But i dont have the courage to talk to you

[melophile3]

Why can't you resent me? Hold a grudge? Give me a reason to hate you.

How do I get over you when you smile at me like that?

Like you knew exactly what was troubling me and gave me a smile to assure me it was alright?

How do I stand behind my decision when I know you're the best thing that could ever happen to me?