melpenaflor - Tumblr blog

[melpenaflor]

It’s just like college graduation all over again. That part where you’re feeling pressure from all fronts, with people asking you what your plans are after this. “Go to law school,” a well-meaning aunt tells me. Kaya mo man. Why, though? I whine internally. I wouldn’t want to go through all that stress just to prove that I can endure stress. I don’t have the heart to tell her upfront, but I…

[melpenaflor]

Dry Season

The past few months have been an exercise in patience and persistence. Work has been slow since February, and with no savings to fall back on, I’ve essentially been running in the red. I’ve been looking for a second job since March, and luckily I heard back from two companies. But after passing the initial exams and going through the required training, I’ve yet to hear back from either of…

[melpenaflor]

Thoughts on Ellie's Moving-up Ceremony

Last week, we celebrated Ellie’s moving-up ceremony to minimal fanfare. After the program, we bypassed the obligatory picture taking on stage and had an early lunch at a Chinese restaurant, followed by dessert at Frogurt. Later, feeling a little guilty for not giving in to her request to buy her a garland or a bouquet, I dropped by Goldilocks and bought her a cake. “Does this mean I’m done with…

[melpenaflor]

Kabuang

Last night I came across a random post on my news feed–you know, those posts Facebook’s algorithm chooses for you based on posts you’ve liked (or messages you’ve sent to other people on Messenger . . .). Surprisingly, it wasn’t a meme or showbiz news about Kim Chiu and Paulo Avelino (I really don’t know whyyy I get these a lot) but rather a motivational video on small tweaks you can make to your…

[melpenaflor]

Mother’s Day is in a few days. While the younger me would have scoffed at it as a capitalist marketing ploy Hallmark designed to drive up greeting card sales, I now hold a more poignant view of it, now that I’m a mother myself. I am so very blessed to have my Mama. Mama, who, ever since I was a child, has always been working–and still chooses to, even now. In the company where she worked for…

[melpenaflor]

Hello, 2024!

Note: This was a draft I’d written at the start of the year and that I’d neglected to finish—until an hour ago because I had some extra time off work. Day one of 366. ‘Cause I read it’s a leap year so we get an extra day in February. (I don’t know why I had to say that when every person who’s gone through second grade already knows that.) In the tradition of the first of January, we start the…

[melpenaflor]

Make a Wish

Thirty-seven now. I’ve spent more than half of my life as an adult. Grateful to be alive and to still be here at all, but a little terrified to be honest. My life seems to have been at a standstill the past few years, and it seems like I’ve been doing more existing than living. And so, for this year, I held up an imaginary cake in front of me and whispered a short prayer: “Lord, help me find…

[melpenaflor]

Civil

After blocking my husband’s phone number and on Facebook/Messenger, we now primarily communicate through email. It just now struck me how funny (and maybe passive-aggressive) our correspondence sounds, with each of my curt replies ending with my auto-signature “Best regards.” Sometimes when I’m feeling petty I delete my sign-off before I hit Send, but I don’t think he gets the hint.

[melpenaflor]

What I've Learned So Far

One time in homeroom class, back when I still taught in senior high, I remember sharing to class how, whenever we’re faced with setbacks or difficult circumstances, instead of wallowing in self-pity, blame, or what-ifs, a more proactive response would be to ask, “What lesson(s) did this experience teach me?” or “How can I grow from this?” Nearly two years since, but I still hesitate to share to…

[melpenaflor]

Allow Me to Introduce Myself—Again

Where do I start? Almost a decade since my last post. I read a few, and marvel at how eloquent—and how brimming with positivity—I once was. If anything, the years have certainly proven that getting older doesn’t necessarily equate to growing wiser. Between 2014 and now, I’ve amassed a wealth of experiences. But mostly I’ve just accumulated a shitload of debt. Oh, and I got married at thirty,…

[melpenaflor]

The Day's Order

The Day’s Order

I just came from attending the Lingkod Weekend, the culminating activity for those who joined our Christian Life Series these past few Sundays. While it’s been almost a year since I’ve taken my commitment vows, I have not had the opportunity to join this activity, so with curiosity and excitement in tow, off I went to the St. Charles Borromeo Retreat House last Saturday.

Aside from the commitment…

[melpenaflor]

My Life So Far

My Life So Far

I’m supposed to be working on a proposal–gratis, as a favor to a former boss, but I just can’t resist temptation of scrolling through and clicking Refresh on Facebook every five minutes–which is turning out to be a disappointing activity, with very little worthwhile turning up.

How convenient then that I suddenly remember I still have a WordPress account and resurrect my resolve to start writing…

[melpenaflor]

1. Be aware of how you feel. As soon as you sense that you are tense, obsessed or conflicted, pay attention, advises psychologist Jennifer Crocker of the Ohio State University. These emotions signal that your motivations may be tangled with self-esteem. 2. Ask yourself “Why?” As you think about your situation, ask yourself: What am I trying to prove to others? What do I want to gain? What am I afraid to lose? If your answers revolve around either a fear of failing or the success, status and rewards that will arrive once you have accomplished your goal, you are likely chasing self-esteem. 3. Change your outlook. Instead of focusing on your own success, think about what you might want to create or accomplish, how your efforts might benefit others or what you might learn from the experience. 4. Embrace empathy and vulnerability. Be honest with others about your fears and challenges and listen openly to their concerns. Leadership coach Shayne Hughes of California-based consultancy Learning as Leadership says such actions allow you to cultivate compassion. Reorienting your goals in a more compassionate way can make you feel more clear-headed and at peace.

How to stop chasing self-esteem – four tips from Scientific American. Pair with Martin Seligman, father of the Positive Psychology movement, on learned optimism, Philippa Perry on how to stay sane, and philosopher Roman Krznaric on empathy. (via explore-blog)

[melpenaflor]

Breathtaking: Winners of the 2013 Astronomy Photographer of the Year.

Pair with how Maria Mitchell revolutionized astronomy. 

[melpenaflor]

Word.

When my parents ask how I can even pay my bills

[melpenaflor]

On Being Vulnerable

We always have to appear so strong to others, so put together. Such that when others point out our shortcomings, we go on the defense and immediately start to plot revenge–how dare they act like gods when they are no more flawed than us?

But what some of…

View Post

[melpenaflor]

30, or 35

For all the drudgery that it entails, such as checking pile after pile of homework and computing grades, I love teaching. Teaching brought me out of my shell and gave me an appreciation for the nobility of this profession. I treasure the relationships…

View Post