mentallyunstable108 - Tumblr blog

[mentallyunstable108]

I'm so done with this, I wanna be free

[mentallyunstable108]

I don't trust myself to keep myself alive

[mentallyunstable108]

How do I get a sense of identity when I have nothing of my own I don't have a life I just was putting my life together then I ran away with some side and now I'm probably gonna have to leave him but I used to have my own apartment, job, home town, better mental health, friends now ??? I have nothing again the universe seems to love playing this game with me

[mentallyunstable108]

I know, I will lose you in the end – because I've always lost those dearest to me.

@buggedmind

[mentallyunstable108]

Damnnmn I thought I was just a dumbass

Bpd culture is staying awake way longer than you should, just waiting for them to interact with you and knowing they probably won’t so you should just go to sleep but what if they do-?

.

[mentallyunstable108]

I used to think I was supposed to fight the person I didn't want to be. So I did. I fought myself so hard I almost died in the process.

I guess I somehow believed, that hurting myself may lead me to loving myself, but surprisingly, that's not how any love works. Because if you wage a war on yourself, you can't win. You can't hate yourself into loving yourself. So if I could say something, anything, to my younger self a little bit sooner, it would be this:

Don't fight yourself, honey... Fight for yourself.

- you're gonna be ok

[mentallyunstable108]

i need this more than oxygen

[mentallyunstable108]

[mentallyunstable108]

I'm at a crossroad in my marriage right now. He's being so abusive to me emotionally and all I can think about is the man I once knew. I've given my all, more than I have to anyone in my life. And I'm faced with the decision that can't be taken back. So..... I'm eating my brains out and chain smoking cigarettes

[mentallyunstable108]

Why are all meth heads such jealous mother fuckers

[mentallyunstable108]

BPD means feeling everything and nothing. Superficial and extremely deep. More empathy than most yet low empathy. Giving your all to those you love yet isolating from them with a cold shoulder. Not sure who is me

[mentallyunstable108]

i want to cut and be pretty and bleed and take pills and vomit and burn and cry and die and just feel something

[mentallyunstable108]

Anyone else too painfully aware of the illogical thought patterns powerless to reason through the nonsense.

[mentallyunstable108]

Woah woah ... Hey don't attack me like that

I don’t always know if I’m my own self or pieces of the people from my past

[mentallyunstable108]

[mentallyunstable108]

Bwahahaha

[mentallyunstable108]

How do I manage this?

Until you live with bpd you'll never know what it's like to be too much and not enough at the same time.