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and one more because i'm obsessed with our dynamics!! @owedfavors
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happy birthday @pathlit
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the west wing, bad moon rising, sentence starter meme.
You were up all night.
Do you know why?
That's why I was up all night. Where am I going?
You're going on vacation.
It's not a vacation.
It's a forced vacation.
You should fix your tie.
So we're going to do something about it.
I don't like new people.
Should I run back and get my Nobel Prize?
It's really not even... I don't want you to worry that much about it.
It really boils down to this I'm going to tell you a story and then I need you to tell me whether or not I've engaged 16 people in a massive criminal conspiracy to defraud the public
What can you tell me about this disease that I don't already know?
I want you.
He never lied.
I never lied.
You also understand no one here has said yes yet.
The number of people whose permission I need before I can do whatever the hell I want...
The number of people whose permission I need before I can do whatever the hell I want... Let me tell you something. There's really a lot to be said for fascism.
Funny you should mention that.
Then you've got to get a swinging light bulb in there and just do it.
Let me tell you something. I've found that if you accept that as a good enough reason for doing something life becomes easier.
Thanks for the fortune cookie wisdom.
You just lurk there in the shadows, like... Whatever. What are you doing?
I'm doing things, things with paper.
I had a couple of questions, if you don't mind.
Okay, it's going to be one of these now, right?
Well, yes, I suppose that's one small-minded way of putting it.
Just how smart are you?
I've got some game.
You look exactly the way you sound on the phone.
I'm less visually observant than others but I make up for it.
I am nowhere close to being able to answer that question.
I was going to be a little more circumspect.
And frankly -- and I don't say this to you enough -- doing a very good job.
AA's definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. I think it's time for some tough love.
Well, not right here in front of everybody, but if you want to run home and get your equipment...
You did some decorating.
A woman's touch.
Talk about your chickens coming home to roost.
Maybe you're not as good as you think.
Fencing's good, 'cause you learn the philosophy of self-defense.
He's acting a little pissy, wouldn't you say?
You're a little pissy too, there, my friend.
Yeah, well, I'm pissed.
You absolutely did the right thing.
I can't lie like this anymore.
Are you saying it was you?
I feel horrible. I should've said something before, but I was afraid of what you'd...
No, let me get this off my chest. It was me.
I don't know. Why does anybody do anything?
What are you talking about?
You shouldn't feel bad about this.
Everyone hates me.
You're the first person who's understood that.
If you dunk the suspect in a deep well of water, and they drown, it means they're not a witch.
Why are you lying to me?
I'm confident in your loyalty to me. I'm confident in your love for me. If you lie to protect me, if you lie just once, if you lie just a little, if you lie 'cause you can't stand what's happening to me and the people making it happen, if you ever, ever lie... ...you're finished with me, you understand?
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the west wing, the inauguration parts i and ii,sentence starter meme.
Listen. I have a problem.
You think that's a good idea?
I don't wanna talk about it now...
The man makes the Prince of Denmark seem reactionary.
And will there be someone who will tell me when it's time to do that?
You mock me?
...in what I'm almost certain is trochaic tetrameter.
Is he telling us something through code?
I can't remember your name, but are you asking me on a date?
Thirteen buttons on the trousers.
I don't wanna know how you know that.
You memorized it? It was 1200 words.
I suppose, to begin with and this is neither here nor there,
globes don't have corners.
I'm talking to myself, so there's no reason for you to be answering.
Is there a reason for me to be standing here?
Stop trying to get us together.
If I wanted, I could have him.
There was no way you could tell me he was right behind me?
Can I just ask? What is it you'd do, exactly, to have me?
It's gotta be a pretty critical lap dance.
Showing off for me.
It's awkwardly worded.
How do you know?
I know things.
And I can confirm that he's thinking and familiarizing himself.
You're comfortable going through life with a name like that?
I've never been comfortable, not because of my name.
The idea isn't going to walk in here announce itself as important.
That's usually not a good idea.
Like Mother Teresa with first strike-ability.
You go back to doing whatever it is you do.
Also, it's written in four languages.
That's not what I mean.
I said, I don't give a damn what your problem is.
Wow, that's pretty spicy stuff.
That was ballsy.
It's been ridiculous since you came back.
Would you mind if I turn off the lights?
Do you like this perfume?
What's gotten into you?
For three years, I've been thinking about what might have been if it weren't for the conflict and I'm almost over it.
Remember when you asked me what exactly I'd do to have you? I'd do that.
Tradition's tradition.
You know, nothing I can't deal with.
I'm just as big a cotton candy-ass as they are.
You're just gonna let that hang?
You're a much bigger cotton candy-ass.
Well, no one's told me anything about it and I'm not gonna ask.
Are we together on this?
You're not ever worried about the window breaking?
Didn't we talk about this?
But you gave it a shot anyway?
No, no "but" at the end of that. Not on this one.
I don't know what the means.
Don't worry, neither will anyone else.
There were maybe four people in the room when I had that conversation.
Good day to you, sir.
I said, good day, sir.
Get in there, would you?
Nobody takes me seriously when I say "good day, sir."
You don't even want to say you were wrong and apologize for your superior attitude lately.
What's his level of frustration?
Aren't you afraid that one day I'm just going to kick your ass like it's never been
kicked?
You bought their love.
Well, it was for sale, and I wanted it.
I don't really know what that means, do you?
No. But I'm mostly asleep right now, and also I don't know what you're talking about.
Who made you crazy? Not that someone has to make you that way.
This is gonna get interesting.
Well. This is gonna, I think, get interesting now.
This is entirely your fault.
Do I just keep standing here?
Heat of the moment. And bad timing.
Ten minutes ago, you promised me you'd go easy on the Moses references.
Well, then here's to swimmin' with bow-legged women.
Ah, that tastes like... nothing at all. It has no taste or properties of any kind.
I think you're wrong. But if you're right, then okay. We should all have a little skin in this.
Not because, no. Not because of Laurel and Hardy. That was simply the confluence of the final, you know, and... also, by the way, from the mouths of babe-- like yourself. Seriously, from the mouths of babes and clowns come-- Listen, there's no reason why anyone needs to know about Laurel and Hardy
Seriously, from the mouths of babes and clowns come--
Sounds like that's going to depend a lot on my general mood.
I walked to school every morning in weather colder than this.
That's right, baby. Just a camel hair coat, leather gloves, a varsity scarf and these wits.
I didn't say he's "lost his mind," I said... I said he lost his mind.
A literary curse.
I'm asking... are you sure?
That's exactly what I was going to say.
She's sitting in her apartment in a ball gown.
Waiting for a ball to come over?
I have a copy here if you want to...
You're walking around with a copy of it?
It's good cop/bad cop. I'm the good cop
Aren't you cold without a coat?
I'd take off my shirt too, but it's inappropriate with a tuxedo.
No, I divined it.
I think before tonight's over, we might have ourselves a whole new story.
What the hell are you doing?
Get down here! Now!
Keep your voice down.
Don't even think about telling me to keep my voice! Get down here!
You come down here without a coat?
I need you to keep your voice down.
Go ahead, you're entitled-- give it to me all again.
Your career isn't important?
The list of things you didn't think about, including your job!
Does he know about this?
You look amazing.
It was stupid, but it was menschy.
Sorry, it was just stupid.
We're going to a ball.
Balls are fun.
You're going to have to sit on somebody's lap.
You should expect increased voices of dissent after today - in breadth and depth.
A ship in the harbor is safe, but that's not what ships were build for.
I'm sorry. Seriously, I've never lied to you before, and it won't happen
again.
Pardon me?
What did I say about speaking to me without addressing me as Wild Thing.
I don't know what to say.
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west wing out of context
"Have you been zapped of your power by the love-making."
"Your teeth is the best friend you got."
"I'm nuts for dental hygiene."
"Communists look exactly like non-communists."
"Death is bad."
"This is an honor thing."
"Remember how you told me not to wake you unless the building is on fire -"
"Technically, I outrank you..."
"Can I stop talking to you now?"
"Could you possibly get us some dried leaves?"
"Do you know why they only eat one egg in France? Because in France one egg is an oeuf."
"Well, you go girl."
"I'm too stupid to live."
"You and me this weekend, baby! And you are wearing a floppy hat!"
"How do people die from a vending machine??"
"Gather yo rosebuds while you may. You know what that means?"
"She says she always asks her father's permission before she has lunch with fascists."
"You fell into the pool there."
"If you are interested in the male perspective."
"Wow, are you stupid!"
"You owe me half-a-million dollars and a drink."
"Didn't realize babies come with hats."
"You got a pretty bad poker face."
"So jail, huh."
"I'm beginning to regret not getting the waffles."
"Can we have a civilization??"
"We've been navigating by the north star."
"I can't act! I'm a terrible actor."
blows raspberries
"Good a place as any to dump your body."
"Did I say that out loud."
"It usually takes people the better part of an hour to hate me and everything I stand for."
"Yeah, that's me: all-powerful; bending the will of the world by my mere presence."
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the west wing, the crackpots and these women,sentence starter meme.
Cause people are bound to be pretty upset when they find out we killed the President.
Oh, this is perfect, you know that? This is a perfect metaphor.
Let the poets write that he had the tools of greatness, but the voices of his better angels was shouted down by his obsessive need to win.
You want to play or write my eulogy?
I beg your pardon?
When have I ever cheated?
Well, I will admit that the woman bore a striking resemblance...
It isn’t so much that you cheat. It’s how brazenly bad you are at it.
And you don’t find that adorable?
Wait, uh, there’s another thing.
I still don’t know what we’re talking about.
Well, that sounds goofy, doesn’t it?
I am making a mental list of those who are snickering, and even as I speak I’m preparing appropriate retribution.
I’m unpredictable.
Is it time for my 10 a.m. scolding?
Say nothing of taking a victory and declaring defeat.
Yeah, my answer was gonna be “because I said so,” but you did pretty good.
By changing some words, the world can move or not by changing some words.
I have many points. I choose not to make them right now.
There, you see how benevolent I can be, when everyone does what I tell them to do.
I would like this meeting to last no more than three minutes. I will allow it to last no more than five.
Who gives a damn?
We seem to have wandered off the point a bit.
You know that doughnut sitting on your desk?
Are we spending any time working on UFOs?
Our scientists are working on a plan.
That’s you being nice?
And a nudnik. You called me a paranoid nudnik.
So, like I said, I appreciate you squeezing me in like this.
It was an impulse. I wasted your time.
Why aren’t you dead?
You’re very sweet sometimes. You really are.
Come, have some fun.
This is a beautiful piece of music. Do you know this?
Do you think you have to be crazy to create something powerful?
You really are very sweet sometimes.
Wolves don’t kill people. That’s a myth.
How do people die from vending machines?
Number of people killed last year retrieving change from a vending machine: four. Number of people killed by a wolf attack: zero.
So, I guess we haven’t been getting along too well lately.
I’ve been... irritating you?
I couldn’t live without you.
I know I disappoint you sometimes.
I mean I can sense your disappointment. And I only get mad because I know you’re right a lot of the times.
Drop the spoon!
And, you look like death in a triscuit.
I heard you’ve been having a little nutty today.
I beg your pardon. Did I call you...
You’re forbidden from adding additional cumin to the chili.
I have certain instructions, and I don’t want to get in trouble...
It needs oregano.
I want to be a comfort to my friends in tragedy. And I want to be able to celebrate with them in triumph. And for all the times in between, I just want to be able to look them in the eye
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the newsroom, election night, part ii, sentence starter meme
I want to make sure there's absolutely no confusion.
He'll be kicking himself for that.
I think you just described the rest of my life.
Schadenfreude's been made very convenient.
I think she cut her own hair.
Cutting off your own hair, that's alarming.
In German the words for enjoy and shred are a lot alike.
They're nothing alike, but that's not the point.
Take your time getting to the point, because as you can see, nothing else is happening right now
No, I'm still very much doing my job. Except for right now.
I appreciate everything you said last night.
I don't feel silly. You want to split a pizza?
Well, when you speak at that volume, I think everyone can.
I drove them into this fucking nightmare.
Look, I don't want to kick you guys when you're down...
Well, first, you can't bounce the words history and lately off each other in the same sentence.
This is where I'm gonna check out.
I am a little offended.
This is where I'm gonna check out.
And then I fell in love with you.
If I had to do it over again, I wouldn't, but I had never been in a relationship as serious as ours and I thought it was what I was supposed to do.
You sure you didn't tell me 'cause you wanted to break up?
Are you sure you're not just a massive bag of douche?
Yeah, I'm sorry for this, but the ring was a practical joke.
It wasn't a joke. It was a rejoinder. It wasn't a joke.
Yes. I'm sorry. And you were never supposed to know.
I brutally hurt you and that's a fact.
I brutally hurt you and that's a fact. And facts don't change. But in my lifetime… I've never done it intentionally.
I have a small, slightly disturbed following among white-collar criminals.
The center of gravity on champagne glasses is too high.
I'm smart enough to know that I'm not smart enough.
There is, believe me, no one that you're not good enough for and there is hardly anyone who's good enough for you, including, it turned out, me.
There is, believe me, no one that you're not good enough for and there is hardly anyone who's good enough for you.
Do I ever make you feel like you're dumb?
Seriously, honey, what's going on there?
I'm asking because I really like you and I don't want to blow it.
Well, first of all, you're not smart enough to make me feel like I'm dumb.
'Cause just physically, you're hard to look at.
Listen. Listen for a second.
There's a difference between being tough and wanting to be.
No. It was funny, but I didn't notice you until later.
I can't tell what you're thinking.
I said will you marry me? And before that, I said I'm in love with you.
I feel like I can do this so much better if I can have a second.
I'm gonna be in love with you for the rest of my life. There's no way out of that. That's just a physical law of the universe.
History should reflect that I acted admirably.
Is it possible the greater glory belongs to me?
You're all idiots. Not you, you're sweet.
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the newsroom, election night, part i, sentence starter meme
I just need to know we're off the record.
You need me to say the words?
There's a mob out there with pitchforks.
Well, I'm sorry we didn't meet your East Coast intellectual standards.
Hey, I'm not fucking around.
Why are you jovial?
I've appointed myself in charge of morale.
The unhappiest guy in the building is in charge of morale.
We have gone to the zoo!
I just described myself as liquid sex.
I just badly need to get fired myself.
So you'd agree this is an unusual situation?
Why don't you just set yourself on fire instead of the cigarette?
Talk to me, too, sister.
What do you think he wants to trade?
Do you think there is any chance we just got incredibly lucky?
I've never heard you use that word as a verb before.
That's why my suggestion is since we can't deal with it right now, not to worry about it.
Would you do me a favor?
Say what you want to say to me.
You're the most attractive woman I have ever seen in real life
You're the most attractive woman I have ever seen in real life and I'm sticking by that statement and everything, but right now you're not making it easy.
You look like you were grown in an environment where it's dark and damp.
For you and me, that's like an orgy at a spa where there are college football games on TV and from the trees hang Christian Louboutins.
Heels like lightsabers. Boots! Boots are hanging from the trees.
You feel like I'm what?
A bomb that hasn't detonated.
I'm not a bomb that's about to explode.
In fact, I didn't want to brag, but I've been put in charge of morale for the night.
I wanted to know what the punishment's gonna be this time.
What was the punishment last time?
I've never heard you use that word as a verb before.
I didn't like how it sounded.
I broke up with you. You're the only person who's baffled by why.
You know what, hon? Can I just say fuck you?
King George forgave America in less time than it's taking you…
I think it's commendable and pretty shocking that you want to do something just because it's the right thing to do, but it's not the right thing to do.
I think you were responsible for a massive fuckup.
Why are you gleeful?
I'm on the right team for once and I get really paid.
My mom says I can't.
And you know what she said? She said, "I'm never gonna die. And when are you gonna give me some grandchildren?"
Tomorrow's too late.
Your hair is the color of goodness.
I was a really good boyfriend.
It's not like you're indifferent to your image.
How big a dick do you think I am and how long have you thought it?
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the west wing, dead irish writers,sentence starter meme.
Passive-aggression is not gonna get me out the door any faster.
Boo boo, I gave up on getting you out the door in the late 70's.
Libertarianism has 14 letters not 15.
That! That's funny? The other 23 jokes weren't funny. Well, it's not that they weren't funny. It's just they weren't ha ha funny
See, I know it sounds like you're praising me, but…
Well, that was stupid.
Standing by your convictions isn't gonna get you anywhere.
Once more with the passive-aggressive.
I know you're scared. I'm very confident. So you be whatever you want.
Good to get that off your chest?
I'm like Gatsby, but without the problems.
I kind of wished you'd mentioned that before.
I haven't gotten credit for that yet.
Look, obviously, we knew this was gonna be a thing, but it doesn't have to be tonight, right?
I'm not an instigator.
I can say this about you. You can wear a tuxedo.
I know you know.
Because you know everything.
Keep blood off your shirt.
Is the champagne flowing as smoothly as the badinage? Are there elegant men and beautiful gowns?
What are you doing here?
Come with me. Come to the party.
You want me to get into it?
And now the student becomes the teacher, huh?
I just needed a little encouragement.
Good 'cause when you talk about it, you should sound like an idiot.
About the thing? You guys pulling a heist?
Come on. Let me in on the action. I can be a dame. I won't blow the whistle, get you cheesed.
It's my job to know.
Don't try and trick me.
You're trying to trick me.
I'm gonna be scared for the rest of the night.
You went over my head, and you did it behind my back.
Quite the contortionist, am I.
And the search for civilization continues.
If you pay close attention, stay very, very quiet, I can teach you how to spell it.
Listen. This is what I do. I get things fast.
You're not in any way a helpful person.
I like to win.
This is an excellent corkscrew. Just slides right in there like power steering. The right tool for the job.
I am developing a massive inferiority complex.
Yeah. Well, I'm on dangling modifier patrol.
Frankly, I'm not wild about cats. I don't hate them. I'm just not… I could learn to like them.
I could tell the story of the ditch digger.
In my house, anyone who uses one word when they could have used ten just isn't trying hard.
What is better than sitting down and talking?
Excuse me, but I'm so sorry about the way I spoke before.
You may kiss my cheek.
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the west wing, 20 hours in america, sentence starter meme.
You know the story about the guy whose cars gets stuck in a muddy hole. A farmer comes along and says he'll pull the car out of the mud but he's going to have to charge 50 bucks 'cause this is the tenth time he's had to pull it out of the mud today. The driver says, "God, when to you have time to plow your land, at night?" The farmer says, "No, no. Nighttimeis when I fill the whole with water."
Why aren't you there?
It's tough to explain.
[name] has trouble concealing his displeasure.
Stepped on it.
You seem pissed that I brought it up.
When somebody can give me an answer to that question, I'll let you know.
I am lightened up. This is me lightened up. You're saying lighter?
You want to lighten up a little?
Speaking of health and fitness...
I had half a grapefruit.
You think I'm lying?
You've been up the past two nights and I don't want a zombie.
Go to sleep.
I'm kidding. that was a joke. I kid because I love.
No kidding, it feels good out here.
You sure i'm not taking you away from something you need to be doing?
You have a second job?
This is fun. We're roughing it.
Remember some of that stuff I said, okay?
Yeah. Doesn't sound quite right, though, does it?
Just out of curiosity, what do you think would happen?
I'm not very easily impressed.
Yeah, you know what? Sue me.
It's a-a common mistake.
How did...? I don't understand.
What is this, a joke?!
Okay, this is a whole new thing now. My guys are going to need to walk this off a bit before they can regroup.
No, I'm sorry buddy. I know you're supposed to be sleeping today.
I don't know what it is you do in there.
Welcome to the club, partner. We got jackets.
You ever love so much it hurts? Like, physically hurts?
It's not intellect, it's memory. It's a different gift. A wonderful one. I've never had it.
I make fun of the French as much as anybody and I don't even know what that meant.
Elitist, feminist-- you can't do that to the English language.
Several of the men I've dated haven't yet gotten over their fear of frogs.
Option one is we make a joke out of it.
We make a joke out of it? What would we have to do to it to make...?
What's your specialty?
No, I mean I can't believe you're considering doing it.
I didn't know you were superstitious.
How long have we been talking about this now?
Okay, let's not tell anybody that.
Whatcha' doin' on the floor?
I'm sitting here listening, already I've turned to a life of crime.
And they're using Act V scene from Hamlet? Are these Batman villians?
300 IQ points between them-- they can't find their way home.
I swear to God, if [name] wasn't there, they'd have to buy a house.
I don't know. I'm a puzzle.
We'd rather people didn't exercise common sense but I agree with what you're saying.
You know I can hear you, right?
I'm in your corner.
You call me a liar to my face?
Well, I'm afraid we're at a classic impasse, [name].
You were strange the first time I met you, and you're strange now.
Hey, the first time you met me there was a good reason.
My powers of deduction are not to be mocked.
That come with tights and a cap?
I'm going to figure it out anyway. What I lack in memory, I more than make up for with exceptional powers of deductive reasoning.
By the way, my powers of ordering are a joke.
Ah, you pulled the switcheroo.
You are so heartbreakingly easy at the end of the day.
You deceived me.
You played upon my love for you.
I'm going to make fun of you while you do, okay?
Did you have other plans?
As a matter of fact, I did. I was planning a quiet night...
If you ask me, it's soft porn. No one needs to massage garlic oil into a leg of lamb that much, on top of which...
You know anything about chaos theory?
Let me get you home. I don't think you're going to make it.
Good writers borrow from other writers. Great writers steal from them outright.
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the west wing, in the shadow of two gunmen, sentence starter meme.
Is anybody dead back there?
What happened to your hand?!
I got hit.
... but let’s make sure that I’m tucked in bed before we do anything...
I’m really fine.
I hit my head on the ground.
I wouldn’t know anything about that.
Didn’t you hear me shouting for you?
Are you-- are you in a lot of pain?
Are you lying?
You are brave.
I’m just so happy to see you.
When all this is over, tell the press, don’t tell the press. It’s entirely up to you.
Tell me what’s happening!
I shouldn’t be at this meeting.
[name] was cutting me off because he knew I was gonna say that. He knew I was gonna say that because I have said it, what?
It’s what magicians call “misdirection.”
You don’t seem to be having a very good time lately.
In the meantime, cheer up, and get off my ass.
Why does he yell at the squirrels?
I mean, we’re dumb, but we’re not that dumb.
Nah. I think we’re exactly that dumb.
You want to go grab a hot dog or something?
I’m saying, I’m just, um, I’m um, having a brain problem.
Okay. Listen, I should go, I got to go. I should let you—
It’s good seeing you. I miss you.
I can’t believe no one ever wrote a folk song about that.
You’ve got a pretty bad poker face.
I don’t understand. I don’t understand, is -- is it serious?
I'll get back to you on that.
I don't believe [name] knows more than I do; I just believe they're willing to tell you more.
There'll be free chicken.
Well, there was a while back there when I was in elementary school.
You gotta be impressed with my consistency.
I have no new information since the last time you asked me that question.
Do you enjoy losing?
You really didn't understand any of that, right?
Yeah, I screwed you on that one.
I understand the point he was making. I was sitting next to him when he made it, my ears are connected to my brain just like every body else.
So you made that decision on your own.
I think you'll find I'll be making a lot of decisions on my own so get used to it.
Act as if ye have faith and faith shall be given to you. Put it another way, fake it till you make it.
Do you want to throw some water on your face?
You know, I should ask. Is there anything I'm supposed to be doing right now?
I have a thing. I have a thing I was going to mention, just a proposal to throw out there.
We had an expression, “no idea was too stupid to say out loud,” so here it is, bear me out.
That's a perfectly fair question. What the hell are you talking about?
I think I have an obligation.
And it's also the right thing to do.
Congratulations, and it must, you know, feel good being that powerful.
He thinks you're a smart mouth.
Yeah, well, maybe, kind of, uh, try to feel your way to dry land?
I'm climbing out of the pool, my clothes will be clingy, avert your eyes!
Nothing. I'd rather not do it, but obviously.
There's no way that you can exceed expectations, all you can hope for is an "as expected", and there's always the possibility that you could embarrass yourself.
He's very easy to like, once you get to know him.
I may have been overstating it a little.
Okay, when I said I graduated, I may have been overstating a little?
I think that question is of a personal nature?
Look. I think I might be good at this.
I think you might find me valuable.
Why not? I saved your life.
I didn't want you to feel beholden to me. I didn't want it to be like an episode of "I Dream of Jeannie" where now you have to save my life ...the time-space continuum, where you have to follow me around with coconut oil and hot towels...
Can I have my necklace back?
You can say it, you know. It's not like I haven't heard it before.
In the meantime, you want to kick something, kick me.
I could get a ticket and come with you.
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the west wing, pilot, sentence starter meme.
Why are we sitting here?
I know he's your friend.
Well, you could call 1-800-BITE-ME.
Okay. You're lying now, aren't you?
I want to thank you for the casual way that you did that just now.
Let me tell you something. The water pressure in here is really impressive.
You're kidding me. It's five thirty in the morning.
I know this doesn't look good.
You know what? I really like you. And if you give me your number, I'd like to call you.
Please call the editor of the New York Times crossword and tell him that 'Khaddafi' is spelled with an h, and two d's, and isn't a seven letter word for anything.
Is this for real? Or is this just funny?
What do you want from me?
[name], while riding a bicycle on his vacation in Jackson Hole, came to a sudden arboreal stop.
Oh, for God's sake. Forget about the journey. Okay? The voyage is not our problem.
Not to mention the fact that it's wrong.
And when was the last time you brought me a cup of coffee? It was never. You've never brought me a cup of coffee.
Well, if you're going to make a big deal out of it...
I'm going to make a suggestion, which might help you out. But I don't want this gesture to be mistaken for an indication that I like you.
You jerk me around on this, and I'm going to get cranky right in your face.
So, I think it's time to play 'What have you done for me lately.'
It was a simple metaphor.
Economists were put on this planet to make astrologers look good.
Are you gonna freak out?
What's my name? My name doesn't matter.
I'm just an ordinary citizen who relies on the Times crossword for stimulation.
Every group has plenty of demons.
Yeah, I'm sorry. I should've told you. I wanted you to like me.
All the girls think you look really hot in this shirt.
Okay. I just want to thank you for all of your help.I should've put two and two together.
And I'm not inclined at this moment to make your life easier.
Well, this is bad on so many levels.
Are you listening to me?
They want you to say something arrogant.
Okay, can I just say that, as it turned out, I was the calmest person in the room?
Way to stay cool.
I thought you were going to take a swing at her there.
I'll be puttin' an end to that.
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the west wing, seventeen people, sentence starter meme.
[Name] is an egomaniac who needs to be told what people think of him.
It’s never happened before, right?
How much time do you have?
Yeah, thanks to who?
I think you got to see this as an opportunity...
I don’t know! Shock. Betrayal. Confusion. Concern about our future.
What do I tell him?
Did you get the flowers?
I’m the sort of guy who remembers those things.
No, you’re the sort of guy who sends a woman flowers to be mean. You’re really the only person I’ve ever met who can do that.
I’m quite something.
Are we really going to do this every year?
Oh, shut up! Honest to God, do you ever get tired of the sound of your own voice?
Hey, we need funny people.
See, right there was a joke. It’s the oldest joke in the book...
Really? 'Cause what I think I was trying to say was ‘Shove it!’
Okay, well, then I guessed wrong.
You know, there are times, when to put it quite simply, I hate your breathing guts.
So the flowers really did the trick, huh?
Didn’t you hear me shouting?
I chose to ignore it.
You’re adorable.
Yet ill-adored.
You’re not, you’re not, you’re not one of those people!
And get some decent pizza, yeah.
They’re gonna hate you.
Do you wanna help me or not?
I know some of you are troubled by my frequent use of Latin references. Well, all I can say is 'no te preocupus'.
Our not anniversary.
Nobody lied? Is that what you've been saying to yourself over and over again...
Nobody... Listen to me. Nobody lied. Nobody was asked to lie.
Well, I think it’s pretty funny but....
I’m a low maintenance lady.
You know your indignation would be a lot more interesting to me if it weren’t quite so covered in crap!
Prince of passive-aggressive behavior.
What does "snark" mean?
The all-night pastry chef? You were just kidding about that, right?
Except you don’t know how to use a computer.
Hey, I’m just grateful we were your last choice.
I’m gonna give you a little gift right now, which you don’t deserve.
Okay, what I need is for you to stop being like, you, for a second.
You’re gonna make fun of him now, aren’t you?
‘Cause that’s why I didn’t tell you in the first place.
Does this make you feel superior?
Yes, you are better than my old boyfriend.
I’m just sayin’ if you were in an accident, I wouldn’t stop for a beer.
If you were in an accident, I wouldn’t stop for red lights.
Thanks for taking me back.
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