meows-on-you - Tumblr blog

[meows-on-you]

pregnant Nari call that the one who expects

Things Lamb/Leshy/Heket say to Narinder out of the blue just to provoke a reaction out of him

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Having balls is crazy, why the hell do I have an exposed weak-point like some video game boss? Who designed this? Shigeru Miyamoto? How is it I’m a 6”6’ guy and a grazing hit to the groin will leave me on the floor in pain. Terrible design. Women do not have such flaws. That is why they scare me.

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HELP

MY ASSIGNED ANALOG HORROR SERIES IS PENIS FILES

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Even if I didn’t have a solid plan, in the back of my head, I always assumed I’d kill myself.

Now I’m an adult and people my age have their lives in order and I’m stuck here, confused, because I never planned to be alive and I’m so far behind.

I feel like I’ll never catch up.

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You know what, fuck you!

*unfurries your Corva*

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media: the very serious brooding asshole character is actually super deep and complex

me: ok

media: the dumb joke character is actually super deep and complex

me: ghhogoohhh. ohhhh oh mygod. oh m. oh. are you kidding me. oh i am going to throw the fuck up over this

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(Pay through cashapp)

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Please. I want to be a creature.

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Nonhumans are here, even if you do not see us. We always will be. We are often hard to spot, but can be found doing all the things a human might.

A cat went to work at an event stall for a mental health service.

A massive sea serpent wanted to go to science class because it enjoyed it more than the rest of those living in its shared form.

The void sat down, huddled up in a blanket, to watch a tv show with its partners. It had to stop watching after a bit, but enjoyed spending time with those close to it anyway.

A wolf went to a psychologist appointment and gratefully drank the hot chocolate they were offered in the waiting room.

A shapeshifting being of pure darkness spoke publicly about trans rights in front of politicians and then went to the pride festival he helped fight to keep alive.

A dragon went to school so the others sharing his human body could have a break.

A manifestation of the fear of madness itself sat in the food court at the mall eating mochi and drinking tea while waiting for its friends to get back from shopping.

A witch drew a picture of his cardinal bird and shared the work he was so proud of with his friends.

A cockatoo borrowed the next book in his favourite series from the school library and almost couldn't wait the whole day to go home and read it.

An alien went camping and watched the birds outside and the way the wind made waves and patterns on the water.

A fallen angel went shopping for sunglasses to shield his eyes from how bright the sun was.

A harpy went shopping for new plants to look after. He named a few because he loved them so much, and sent pictures to all of his friends.

An anthropomorphic hedgehog traded Pokemon cards with his peers at school. He was happy with his collection.

You may not see us, and you may feel alone, but you are not. We are just hidden. We are in more places than you'd think, and in the places you'd least expect. We are complex, we are valued, and we are here.

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COMMISSIONS OPEN!

Looks bad but this is my first price list sorry.

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(me, my parents, my sister, and the baby are sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch)

baby, pointing at the light fixture over the table and signing "on": o.*

my sister: we actually can't turn that light on right now, because the lightbulb inside is burnt out! it needs a new one.

baby: ighbu.

sister: yes, lightbulb! granddaddy said after we eat he's going to climb up there on a ladder and change it, and then the light will come on!

baby: gadada! adda, uuu! ighbu o!

sister: exactly!

baby, signing "on" and pointing at the light and then my dad, with increasing urgency: GADADA ADDA UUUU. O.

my sister: we're going to finish eating first though, ok?

baby: nonono. O. gadada adda uuu.

[a split second goes by]

baby, pointing to himself: ba. adda uuu. ighbu.

me: you're going to climb the ladder and change the lightbulb yourself?

baby: dzyeah. *pointing to the buckle where he is buckled into the high chair* ububu.

me: unbuckle you? so you can change the lightbulb?

baby, highly businesslike: dzyeah.

*pronounced like "on" without the n

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I know it’s not hard to point out reactionaries hypocrisy when it comes to like safe spaces or hug boxes or whatever but genuinely how much of an echo chamber do you have to exist in for you to think this is a reasonable thing to say

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COTL fanart!

Started this as a simple way to get rid of my art block and ended up with 8 fully rendered drawings somehow, i wasnt even planning on drawing backgrounds lol

also sorry for the long post (it will be even longer next time)

All the references ↓

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I never told my wife I had an ex-fiancee 

One thing I never told my wife is that I had a fiancee before her. It’s a long story, so buckle up.

It was the year after I graduated college. I was dating my girlfriend, Stephanie, for a couple years and things were getting serious. At the time, I had my roommate, Joey, but he was a Craigslist roommate. We didn’t know each other very well. If you asked me how I knew him aside from Craigslist, the answer is I didn’t. He wouldn’t even tell me where he grew up.

Now, no shit, on the day I was going to propose, tragedy struck. I adorned our apartment with candles and even set up a nice glass display with framed pictures of me and Steph on top. Before Steph came in, Joey walked in and tripped. He actually shattered the glass display and got some in his face. Steph came in a few minutes later as I was on the phone with 911. Fortunately, Steph is a nurse, so she was able to patch him up as the three of us went to the hospital together.

Joey would recover, but he had some issues with glass on his face. He needed some cotton gauze inside his eye, which fortunately the doctors were able to save.

Clearly, I put off my proposal for the time being, but Steph and I agreed to get married. Our engagement was hush hush. Steph’s hours were wonky so she took care of Joey when I wasn’t around. And I should’ve seen the red flags, but I ignored them. They’d hang out together with and without me. They’d be in Joey’s room and lock the door.

One day, I came home and all of Joey’s stuff was gone. He moved out. Steph wrote a note. The note said, “We fell in love and we’re leaving together. Don’t try to find us.”

I didn’t listen and I searched, but true to the note, I couldn’t find them. I’ll never know what happened.

Suffice to say,

if it hadn’t been for Cotton-Eye Joe

I’d have been married a long time ago.

Where did you come from, where did you go?

Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?