mercuryandglass

[mercuryandglass]

recently my plug has offered free weed for:

bunch of ice

mw2 double xp tokens

[mercuryandglass]

Detect evil but it becomes increasingly clear that whoever calibrated it had some really weird moral stances.

[mercuryandglass]

sometimes when my mom gets drunk she goes into Liberated Women Mode, and one time she was real tipsy and while talking about her friend’s divorce, she very earnestly told me and my sister (both adults) that regardless of preference or relationship, she hoped we would both reach a point in our lives where we were having really good sex with really good people. and my sister said, “i do that now except the good people part” and i said, “sex is real?” and my mom didn’t love either of those answers

[mercuryandglass]

I'm in your house picking your shy, uptight man like a lock.

[mercuryandglass]

it's so fucked up you cant start working on your life at 3 am. when it most matters

[mercuryandglass]

i had a dream two nights ago where i was being shown around a fancy medieval port, and my guide said "this coast used to have two ports, Mangeet and Totoga, but in recent years we've combined them both into one - Port ManTo" and i actually woke up with a fucking start

[mercuryandglass]

Can’t wait for, like, 2025 when we look back on the 2018/2019 era and say “hey, remember when we were all really freaking depressed? That was a crazy time! Glad we aren’t like that anymore”

[mercuryandglass]

idk what dm needs to hear this but you arent getting that done in a single session

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"This fic is literally just porn, why do you care about the quality of the editing" unfortunately, both my brain and my dick have strong opinions about verb tenses.

[mercuryandglass]

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boring take from real 21st century idiots: bdsm is bad because it's basically torture

interesting take from a fictional 14th century monk: torture is bad because it's basically sex

[mercuryandglass]

tlt tumblr: here’s a 52-page treatise on how john’s vision of his empire references the first and second crusades, cross-analyzed with the modern trend of liberal apathy and a layered examination of the complexities of a man from a colonized people becoming a colonizer. almost didn’t post it here because it feels too obvious haha

tlt reddit: can someone remind me who ‘cam’ is?

tlt twitter: guyssss i don’t know if i can finish these books 😭😭 i wanted nice lesbians in space but this relationship is lowkey toxic???

person in real life: hey man how’s it going

[mercuryandglass]

how busy are you guys that you can't spend a few days sorting beetles?

[mercuryandglass]

Reblog to give a trans person a fresh and perfectly ripe mango wait huh

It's the wikipedia image??? How big could it be

What

Huh???

[mercuryandglass]

and you're telling me the popular ship in the fandom is gideon/harrow and not gideon/dulcinea. that's what i'm given to understand. no one else is melting at gideon saying very genuinely "i don't want you to die". no one else is really really smitten with dulcinea and practically swoons when she talks

[mercuryandglass]

DONT use glasses, youll become dependent on them to see!!!! #WARONDRUGS #OVERPRESCRIPTION #CORRECTIVELENSADDICTION

[mercuryandglass]

I got too excited while playing chess and told my opponent that I was going to slit his throat and slaughter him like a hog. something to work on for next time