merelyqueerkat - Tumblr blog

[merelyqueerkat]

"You can't just pick and choose the parts of a romantic relationship that you want"

No, actually I can.

I can do exactly that. If I want to see them multiple times a week with no commitment and no exclusivity I can.

If I want to cuddle and kiss and not be any more intimate than that I can.

If I want to go on fun dates and spend time together and have little adventures but never call them my partner I can.

If I want to do these things with multiple people at the same time I can.

If I want to call it hanging out instead of dating I can.

If I want to keep things private but also post us being silly on my close firends stories I can.

I can do anything I want to as long as all the parties in the relationship are happy and it's not hurting anyone.

Other people cannot define my relationships for me.

[merelyqueerkat]

you know i think i’ve come to the conclusion that the answer to “but what if a cis woman is traumatized by men/male presenting people/whatever?” irt safe spaces is this: if you can’t be in the same room with someone you assume to be male or a man without feeling triggered, it probably means you have a lot more solo therapy and healing to do before relying on group therapy or other communal healing.

because how do you decide who gets to stay and who gets kicked out based on a cis woman’s trauma response? is it based on appearance? should intersex women with facial hair not be allowed because beards are triggering? should butches and studs not be allowed because masculinity is triggering? should talk broad shouldered trans women who don’t want to voice train not be allowed because low voices are triggering? is it based on identity? should a pre transition trans man who came out two days ago not be allowed because he’s a man? is a nonbinary person with a full beard and deep voice allowed because they are not a man?

because if you base your entire set of rules for who’s not allowed in the safe space on what makes cis women uncomfortable or triggers them, you’ve just made that space unsafe for trans people. and you need to decide if you’re ready to own that.

[merelyqueerkat]

Wow. The patience, kindness and calm communication skills. Outstanding.

From raindovemodel

[merelyqueerkat]

For post 3000, I thought it would be nice to finally finish the bigender comic I’ve been working on since… before I started this blog. So here it is!

Description:

Panel 1: Round smiley face that’s green on the right side and purple on the left. To the right is another face with irregular patches of purple and green. Captions read “Bigender people can feel split in two, or with two genders all mixed together”.

Panel 2: Face colored a blend of green and purple. To the right is another face with rectangular patches of green, purple, and the blend. Below are two faces, one with purple filling the lower third of the left side and green on the right side, and one that is mostly green with purple at the top. Captions read “The genders can be almost indistinguishable, or feel like they correspond to different mindsets, or be different strengths”

Panel 3: Purple face with an arrow pointing to a green face on the right. To the right is a face with purple filling the lower third of the left side and green on the right side. Below is a sequence of three faces directed with arrows: the first face is mostly green with purple at the top, the second face is mostly purple with green at the bottom, and the third face is mostly white with purple on the left and green on the right at the bottom. Captions read “Bigender people can switch between genders, or have a completely static gender, or have the strength of the genders change”

Panel 4: “The genders can be female, male, agender, polygender, or whatever else the person feel fits each part. What all bigender people have in common is they are TWO genders. Not just one or another; BOTH”. Gender signs are above each corresponding gender identity.

Panel 5: Bigender people can use any pronouns. Above is a speech bubble with many pronoun sets in different fonts.

Panel 6: A green stick figure with a face that is partially purple on the left and green on the right. To the right are two stick figures with a double-ended arrow between them, one green and one purple, each with a face that is purple on the left and green on the right. Captions read “A bigender person may choose to present as one gender, or switch back and forth”

Panel 7: Two stick figures, one green and purple, the other pink. Each has a face that is mostly purple with green on the bottom. Captions read “or present as a mixture, or something else entirely. But remember: Gender =/= Presentation, and they are always still bigender”

[merelyqueerkat]

btw dating sucks as a concept.

[merelyqueerkat]

message for girls: you can be a boy too. you dont have to stop being a girl to be a boy. if you dont want to be a girl you can stop, but you can also keep being a girl and be a boy at the same time. you can be a trans man and still be a woman if you want. if your womanhood is real to you and not just an imitation of what you think you're supposed to be doing, the way a lot of trans men describe, you can keep doing womanhood and just start doing manhood alongside it. and even if yours is an imitation you can keep it forever if you want to, if it is dear to you, you do not have to give it up to be valid.

and btw if your womanhood is hard-won and you feel like any hint of manhood is a threat to your validity, you can still have both things if you want both of them. you can be a trans woman and also a man if you wanna. you don't have to but if you want to, you can.

also no matter what kind of womanhood you have you can stop doing it whenever you need to. including if your womanhood is sincere and genuine btw. and it doesnt have to mean you were never a woman. you can do whatever you want forever i love you

[merelyqueerkat]

i’m gonna say something controversial yet brave: sexuality labels are a convenient tool we use to define something that is undefinable

[merelyqueerkat]

why are you so tired? can't you just laugh it off, whatever it is that happened to you? don't you get sick of being sad all the time? of being exhausted? just stop doing that! the audience is waiting. better learn how to smile again before they forget about you! hurry up and rest! haven't you healed your wounds already? are you afraid of admitting how bad you got hurt? how much rest you actually need? it can't really be that bad, because if it was that bad, then you'd need to do less! then you'd need to stop! and you can't stop! everyone is counting on you! it's actually a form of support and love to force you to keep moving when you only want to stop. if the love hurts then it must be something wrong with you. there's nothing wrong with you, right? smile and say thank you. smile and get back to work. look busy when the manager walks by, and everything's gonna be great! smile! it'll be ok if you just keep working! you can't look sad. it's bad for business! laugh it off, you stupid little tranny! you're probably making it up for attention, anyways. isn't that gross? when someon's attention seeking? what kind of person needs attention? what kind of person wants to be seen? what kind of person begs to be acknowledged for who they are, not just the face they put on? don't you want to be normal? don't you want to fit in? cut off every piece of yourself that other people don't like or you'll be a bad person! don't you want to be normal? here, we made it so you can be normal while being trans! just kill every piece of you that doesn't behave like a good christian boy and you can be a girl! it's easy. look! we've got some rich trans women here to parrot our views at you so it's coming from someone like you! don't worry about how much money they have or how that makes things easier for them. don't worry about if their family loves them. don't worry about how valuable community has helped them. be good like them. be quiet like them. repeat after me like them. good little fag.

[merelyqueerkat]

The thing is that, like most trans men I know, I’m more than willing to discuss my relationship with male privilege and manhood regarding the ways I’ve seen a direct benefit on my life.

I work a woman-dominated, and let’s be real an afab-dominated, job. When a known misogynist client- who has been scolded multiple times for his behavior heckles and hassles the women who work there to the point where multiple coworkers refuse to be in the same room as him- glances at me and then looks away and chooses a different target, I know why. It’s because he saw my beard and my moustache and my generally male appearance and decided that it would be far too gay to engage in that behavior with me.

But if I talk about this relationship, then you also need to listen when I say that exact same client treated me exactly the same way he treats the female staff when I was on the phone with him just a week prior, because he heard my voice and decided for me that I was a woman he was going to treat poorly.

If I talk about this relationship, then you need to listen when I say that people have called the police to report a violent black man was threatening them when all I was doing was existing in an area, an area that I have existed in as a black woman and not had people try to get the police to kill me.

If I talk about this relationship, then you need to listen when I say that I experienced terrible antiblack racism as a direct result of being one of three black girls in my entire school system, and that it did not magically get better the moment I realized I was transgender at 13 nor did the misogynistic part of the abuse suddenly stop affecting me or my mental health.

If I talk about this relationship, you need to listen when I say that being pulled over by the police due to a broken headlight takes a very different tone now that I am largely passing in my day-to-day life, and what used to be “let off with a warning” has now become “tickets and points”.

And if you are not ready to listen, then I am not willing to have this discussion, because by focusing only on one part of the equation you ignore the entire rest of my existence.

[merelyqueerkat]

Cis people think trans people have this:

Deadname

Chosen name

But honestly we really have:

Name

Other name

Deadname

Business name

Old nickname only some people have rights to use

Online name

Extra special secret name you don’t get to know, unless… ;)

[merelyqueerkat]

hear them out

[ID: Three-panel Pills That Make You Green comic.

Panel 1: A tall purple person and the green person are sitting on stools by a table. In the background is some kind of bar desk with a plain person, a crimson person with a triangular torso and a sky-blue person with cat ears standing around it.

Purple: "Yeah so I don't really identify as transchromatic OR cischromatic actually"

Green: "Oh! uh-"

Panel 2: Zoom in on a perspective shot of purple on the left and green on the right. Green has a box above their head saying:

"Dialogue choices: -Semantic argument -Deny their lived experience >Hear them out" with "head them out" being selected.

Panel 3: Zoom back out to the same scene as the first panel. In the background another green person with a slight gradient on them has met up with the sky blue person.

Purple: "Yeah so when I was a kid they put me on pills that make you green, 'cause they'd diagnosed me with Unwanted Purple Syndrome. Thing is I actually did want to be purple once I thought about it, so I had to take purple pills."

Green: "Oh I get it now"

Purple: "So I think binary categorisation is a bit reductive about how I got to where I am now"

End ID]

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[merelyqueerkat]

inspired by a recent pride-themed biology talk I gave at a science event recently, I've started @gayanimaloftheday where I will, you guessed it, post a gay animal every day

there is so much queerness in nature, it's only right we celebrate it during pride month (and every month)

[merelyqueerkat]

hey um queer desi people if you think you're alone, i promise you're not. i'm here, we're here, and we exist. i love you.

[merelyqueerkat]

Hey, folks! Pride month is here, so I thought I'd take this opportunity to promote the custom name and pronoun buttons I make. =]

I opened my little shop in late 2015 because I was having trouble getting misgendered myself, so I started making these buttons and I've made thousands of name and pronoun buttons for folks since. It's so cool to have been even just a tiny part of so many people's journeys like that. I've even got over 100(!) different pride flags made in the Painted style, too, so whatever your flag I've got you covered.

Consider supporting a small queer and trans owned shop this Pride! I've got many pronoun and pride flag styles as well. Check them all out: tigerseyeadventureco.etsy.com

[merelyqueerkat]

[merelyqueerkat]

When Izzy first walked out I was worried that he would be made into a joke that the crew would laugh at

but then he started singing and the dancing began and I realized that he wasn’t meant to be a joke at all. This is the most open and happy we’ve ever seen Izzy and the show treated it that way. Not mocking him but instead celebrating this moment.

When we talk about queer representation it’s usually just focused on queer relationships, but what I love about this episode is it shows other sides of being queer. That moment where Izzy saw Wee John doing his makeup and had a realization that he wanted that too? That is what being queer means to me. The crew singing along and cheering for him? That is what being apart of the queer community means to me.

What i love about this show is that it shows queer joy, not in a sanitized way, but in away that is messy, beautiful, and without any mockery or shame.