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I think so much about the poisoning and the aftermath could have been improved if it had read like a mutual betrayal

(this reblog got very long and I'm sorry to hijack, so... more under the cut)

for merlin's part, we want to believe in his goodness as a protagonist, and it doesn't sit well that he made the first move against morgana. sure, the lizard convinces him that morgana has already made that move by "turning her back on her own" with morgause but up until this point merlin hasn't given up on her. he doesn't WANT to be the person who lets child!mordred and morgana die. it doesn't feel right. he doesn't want destiny to make him a murderer, and he's more attached to morgana than he is to mordred because she's his friend and he cares about her, so it feels like he should put up more of a fight when he thinks it's his last chance to escape it all.

for morgana's part, she doesn't have a lot of agency with the spell. she went along with morgause because she wants to fight back against uther, but it's clear she didn't fully know what she was signing up for and doesn't want her friends hurt. we never get to see her make a choice about ending it or not once she sees what's happening. she was never even told about her role in the spell.

2x11 is the part of the show where the "we can find another way" "there is no other way" moment would have been more fitting. in the s3 premiere, merlin says this out of guilt because he knows that he didn't give morgana this chance in s2 when it could have made a difference.

the tragedy in canon is that merlin abandoned her and regrets his part in leading her to her dark path, but nothing can change it.

I would have liked to see the tragedy of merlin and morgana believing the other abandoned them and having it be equally true. this could have been achieved if merlin did try to plead with morgana before he poisoned her.

I picture kilgharrah telling merlin to kill her, him picking out the poison and then realizing that he doesn't want this destiny. when arthur is distracted, he pulls morgana aside in one of their iconic arm-grabs.

he knows the enchanted knight wouldn't kill her. he knows the spell isn't working on her. he knows she has magic. morgana knows that he knows these things.

she doesn't want to admit that she betrayed camelot. merlin doesn't want her to know that he has magic or a prophecy.

but he's so desperate not to face this terrible future that he begs morgana: "we don't have to lay this path, we can turn back before it's too late. we can stop this." morgana claims she doesn't know what he's talking about, but merlin doesn't give up.

"you must know! some part of you must know!"

and for merlin, this means that he knows she has the Sight, so some part of her must know that destiny has terrible things in store if they don't stick together and fight it. she must know, because he can't be alone in this. she must want to prevent it too, because they're friends.

for morgana, she thinks he means she knows how to end the spell. she doesn't, and she's cornered between morgause and her friends, and if she could end the spell, should she? she's conflicted, and uninformed, and won't back down or own up to anything. she's scared.

"I can't help you, merlin."

and then she pulls away, and merlin feels like he's been betrayed. he tried and she won't help and now there's no other path except kilgharrah's, even after he vouched for morgana.

so he poisons her and he hates it.

merlin causes morgana to suffer by betraying her trust and trying to kill her, when she thought he was her friend.

morgana causes merlin to suffer by abandoning him to destiny and betraying his belief in her, when he needed goodness the most.

and they carry that with them.

not to delve into the mistreatment of morgana again. but what fucks me up about that episode where merlin poisons morgana and its framed as "it was the only way, we would have all died otherwise" is that. no it fucking wasn't.

maybe if we were already dealing with s3 came-back-wrong evil smirk morgana who truly wasn't listening to anyone at that castle anymore because they tried (and succeeded!) to well. poison her. then maybe i'd concede that.

but throughout that entire episode morgana is largely just absolutely shellshocked. she follows merlin and arthur in a daze with huge eyes and she looks too absolutely terrified to say anything other than just feebly parrot what they are saying. she's very obviously not coping very well with whatever is going on. yeah she's going with morgause's plan but it's very clear to me that she is doing that because she doesn't know what the fuck else to do.

it's kind of a crooked parallel to the episode in s1 where she nearly kills uther. only at this point she knows she has magic, she has been constantly plagued by nightmares, paranoia and constantly lied to, and knows by now that neither gaius nor anyone else wants to help her. she also knows the people who did try to help her (druids) were all slaughtered in front of her eyes.

in the episode where she almost killed uther, morgana was pulled back from the point of killing him because she convinced herself there was another way and it would get better. in the poison episode there is nothing left she can fall back onto anymore on her own - no one else is there to offer any help, despite morgana begging for it, and everyone who did offer is dead - and then. on the other side of this. there is morgause, with her healing bracelet and her affection, telling morgana she has family who will stand by her, and saying "i will protect you but you have to help me with this"

so even in the moment where it very clearly dawns on morgana that she has put people she cares about - including, yeah, arthur and merlin - in danger, she is effectively acting like a cornered animal trying to follow the only hand that feeds her. but to claim that there was no other way than to kill her is ridiculous. she's visibly, obviously frightened and paralysed with that fear, and clearly torn up about something. she's a terrible liar. merlin can fucking see it and has the entire context for it, he even knows morgause's tactics from what she did with arthur already.

i cannot overstate how much this whole fucking situation could have been resolved if merlin actually offered her another solution and talked to her. i know he's like. physically incapable of communication and that yes, it would involve revealing and endangering himself. but for god's sake, do not tell me there was NO other way than to poison her. he could have fucking talked to her. that was a choice.

and i actually really, heavily doubt that, after seeing someone else with magic, who is her friend and has tried to help her before, albeit clumsily, and who is saying something along the lines of "morgause is lying to you and using your power to get the throne/has lied to arthur as well/you are not alone against uther and we can figure something out and find another way" the morgana who is green in the face sitting in the room w him and arthur would be like no actually merlin i'm absolutely convinced you and gwen and arthur should all die.

at the very least it would make her question things, and i think swaying her to break the enchantment would take very little energy from merlin, good at improvising under duress as he is, at this point. again, she's absolutely terrified and thinks she's completely alone and that without morgause she has nothing but the pyre awaiting her. to have a friend by your side when you're this scared does in fact change a lot.

i actually actively fucking doubt even arthur wouldn't fold as well if morgana and merlin BOTH turned out to have magic at the same time. like between them and gwen being kind, i feel like that wouldve maybe fucking solved some problems given that it wouldnt just be merlin vs uther in his silly head. but alas thats another topic.

anyway. thank you for coming to my ted talk. no, poisoning morgana was not the only way. rip to merlin but oh my god get a grip

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           Mergana Prompt Month: March ★ Day 7

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“I don’t want you to change. I want you to always be you.”

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Merlin contemplating giving Mordred a hand #regicide

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Tell us a secret about Arthur? He wears his mother’s ring on his left index finger.

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the kingdom you helped me build…

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we were robbed of arthur getting to know merlin once again but for real this time

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This foreshadowing actually kills me. If Merlin could just find Arthur again, he would be his servant in every life until the end of time.

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I always loved this because seriously, who else but Merlin could be allowed to order the king about before defying him insolently a second later?

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This scene was so important. Arthur spent the entire episode saying he could rule alone, that he didn’t need anyone. And then here, at the very end, when he was going to his potential death, he finally swallowed his pride, took Merlin’s hand and literally thanked his oldest friend for everything.

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Another Merlin Deleted Scene that should never have been deleted