messrmrcuder

[messrmrcuder]

[messrmrcuder]

And no I didn’t mind the wolfstar either as wolfstar was my very first ship and is still my fav ship ever (they are my precious babies and I will fight anybody and everybody who doubts my love for them). Like if you have more wolfstar headcannons I am all ears. I will probs just lay in bed and cry over how cute they are 🌻

heyo anon! sorry for taking so long to get to you, I appreciate the kind words!!

this time i am offering you some wolfstar headcanons (plus trans rem ofc) but modern hogwarts au, hope you'll like them! also just beware there's mentions of sex in this one!

Remus actually came out around the middle of 5th year. so only starting then he started sleeping in the boys' dorm (they've had sleepovers with him and Lily before yeah but this time he'd actually live with them) and he's quite unsure about his sexuality - he knows he's into girls but he's not sure about boys. a sight of Sirius in the morning, half of his clothes off, getting dressed and with his hair all messed up from sleep, was quite enough for Remus to realize he does, indeed, like boys

Sirius starts crushing on Remus when they come back from the summer hols for their 6th year. Remus grew a bit taller, he tanned very nicely, he has an undercut (his feelings might be wholy based on that alone) and new glasses and a very big baggy sweater and seeing him in the platform did Things to Sirius

upon realisation, Sirius, of course, has a bit of a gay breakdown, because hello this is one of his best friends and also there's no way Remus would like him back (ha) yada yada

Sirius becomes the clumsy one in the dorm. If Remus isn't in the room, he's fine, but as soon as he steps in it's like someone pressed a button labeled "incompetence" inside of Sirius's brain. He trips, he drops things, he fumbles with words. just a gay mess, that one

they kiss for the first time shortly before the Yule break. Sirius is waiting for Remus and very nervously fumbling with the ribbon on the present he's gonna give him (a charmed binder plus a few sweaters. and an entire freaking bag of his favourite salty caramel chocolates. Sirius wanted Remus to know he cares). when Remus finally gets to the dorm and is opening the gift Sirius is dying of nerves cause he also put in a letter that he hoped Remus would read over the hols. but Remus starts reading it now and Sirius just fixates on staring at the floor and waits for the rejection incoming. but it doesn't. Instead, Remus very quietly says he likes him too. there's an awkward couple minute period of being shocked and a little awkward and them not knowing what they're doing, but then Sirius asks to kiss him

they leave for Yule on the next day. it's a little awkward (they're teenagers hello), but they hold hands a little bit when they're in the train. they're both blushing like crazy and refusing to acknowledge it

Sirius makes the impulse decision to kiss Remus right after they've said their goodbyes and were just about to turn around and leave. He then smiles awkwardly, takes a step back and kind of just turns around and flees cause, while it's amazing, this is also very awkward and a little embarrassing.

that was a mistake though, because both the Potters and the Lupins saw that. Sirius joins his brothers and their parents and is promptly hugged like crazy by Mrs Potter who says she's so happy and that he's so grown up now and that he has to invite his boyfriend over for dinner sometime and also tell her everything there is to tell. Sirius would be more embarrassed if he wasn't so emotional about her being so happy for him and caring about his relationship in such a good way

Mrs Lupin, when hugging Remus hello, asks him who's that "handsome young man with the leather jacket" was and Remus can already tell his mother is going to question him about everything the second they get home. It's not a bad thing, though - him and his mum are best friends, and it's actually comforting to come sit with her next to the fireplace and ask for advice

the Yule break is a few weeks long. Sirius cannot stop thinking about their kisses. they've kissed only twice but Sirius can't think about anything else. he drafts a letter the first night - it's very painfully awkward (he does wonder if them being boyfriends means now they're stuck acting awkward til they die). but then he can't sleep and keeps thinking about those two far too short kisses and he throws the old letter away and writes down a storm about everything he's thinking. he sends it off to Remus before he can regret it (and he does. immediately after he closes the window and sees the owl disappear)

Remus rereads it about ten thousand times. And then he digs up an old jewellery box that he doesn't use cause he gave all his old earrings to Lily, and he names it to be his little treasure chest, and a new home to Sirius's letter. He struggles with the response a bit, but then he just thinks about how nice it would be to be held by Sirius and trusts his gut to write all that he's feeling.

and so the awkwardness seems to fade and they exchange letters every day. Sirius promises to buy a smartphone so they can call or facetime (which is impossible cause the Potters don't have Internet but shh no one tell him)

Sirius invites Remus over for New Year's and it's really like there's no more being awkward anymore. Mrs Potter is very strict about the door to Sirius's bedroom being wide open at all times, but that really doesn't stop them from making out all damn day. they miss the countdown and all

After they come back to Hogwarts their honeymoon period officially starts. they're glued together, and more often than not they'll be making out in a broom closet or some abandoned corridor

James thinks this is kind of gross (in an endearing way, he loves them). he takes it back once they actually start having sex - walking in on them kissing was not nearly as damaging as seeing them do more. James gives a wholeass rant about how to charm the curtains so he won't be able to yank them open and see something that will scar him for life

Sirius's greatest discovery is that Remus has dimples at the bottom of his back. he has many favourite parts of Remus but this one is amongst the top ones

After a full moon once, Sirius comes in to keep Remus company in the hospital wing. He is promptly taken aside by Madame Pomfrey who asks him if he knows about proper protection charms, which is apparently something she does to all couples that are of appropriate age. still, Sirius's face has never been quite this red (and yes, he knows them. there was no escaping from Mr and Mrs Potter's sex talk. Sirius couldn't look them in the eye for a week).

Sirius might be only 17 but he's already daydreaming about their wedding. he's weird like that

he's got two kind of hexes up his sleeves. One is for people being generally annoying, insulting his friends, etc. the other is people who purposefully misgender Remus. they're never too cruel, of course (just because he doesn't fancy getting thrown out of school) but they're very carefully picked and adjusted to assure maximum discomfort

Sirius's favourite way to see Remus is when, during hogsmeade visits, they'll swing by a bookshop. Remus will light up and he'll be jumping from book to book, and he looks so dorky and cute when he points at various things and quotes. the first time Sirius thinks he's in love with him is during one of those times

Remus's favourite time in hogsmeade, on the other hand, is when they're in the three broomsticks. it's not his forte at all - it's loud and crowded and there's too many people for his liking. But Sirius is absolutely in his element there. he thrives with people so he'll laugh along his friends and people at the bar, buy whatever his friends want because he takes joy in giving people things. he's the non drinker of the group but even without the aspect of alcohol Sirius loves the people aspect of the pub. There's nothing like seeing him light up in a room full of people to talk to

Remus spends a long time during the summer between 6th and 7th year teaching basically the whole Potter family (+ the Black brothers ofc) how to use a smartphone and hooking up their Internet. it's a process.

Sirius becomes obsessed with Remus sending photos to him. he loves that it's so easy and they can talk whenever they'd like and Sirius can save all those photos and look at them when he misses Rem. (not to mention the sexy aspect of this but let's leave that for another day)

Sirius is also equally obsessed with Spotify. he can listen to whatever he wants. whatever. it's the best thing in the world

Sirius makes playlists for Remus. multiple of them

[messrmrcuder]

Neurodiverse Remus Lupin

And his loving boyfriend who helps deal with his shit though these are mainly Remus centric w some Sirius

So basically Remus has ADHD, which is a hyperactivity disorder but there’s much more than that so here’s a few of my glorious neuroatypical Remus Lupin and his boyfriend headcanons

Sure, Remus is quiet but he talks REALLY fast; to the point that it’s so hard to understand him and he usually has to repeat his words A LOT

Remus chews on literally anything. Pencils, necklaces, jumpers (both his and Sirius’), even his fingers. So Sirius buys him a rubber stimming necklaces, in high hopes that he’ll stop “eating” things that aren’t meant for his mouth. Remus wears it but forgets he has it so he still chews on things besides the necklace.

Sometimes Remus chews on his nail beds and cuticles and it makes him bleed so Sirius now covers his fingers in band-aids to make sure he doesn’t break skin and it’s the sweetest thing ever.

Remus cannot sit through a movie at all but the boy can read for hours on end. The apocalypse could be happening and Remus will kindly sit on his bed and read an entire book series that’s like 10 books long in one single sitting and the other boys just watch and question on how the hell he does this.

Hyperfixates on his ADHD? Hyperfixates on his ADHD

Remus seems to be really quiet and timid in public but if just him and the boys, he’s like, the loudest one out of the entire group. When Lily was finally apart of their little group, she was, well, safe to say she was definitely taken back by Remus’ amount of PURE ENERGY.

You never know what’s going on in his head. It’s like a computer with a million tabs open at once

Remus has meds but forgets to take them all the time. Sirius had to remind him nearly every day and Remus is just like “oh, fuck me”

Sirius just like, has to manage Remus’ days sometimes because Remus has no routine (besides his lycanthropy, which he even forgets sometimes, and he’s practically been like that his whole life)

“Uh, Siri... I can’t find my keys.”

“... Remus, babe, honey, the love of my life... they’re on your wrist.”

Remus accidentally insulting someone because it’s the first thing that came to his mind when greeting them.

Time management? Haha who’s she? Remus doesn’t know her

Shockingly does work last minute, and finishes on time and passes.

ok but Remus hyperfixating on the stupidest shit like idk rocks

How many pencils has Sirius taken away from Remus because they’re literally chewed apart? dunno, lost count a long time ago

Sirius totally allows Remus to play with his hands and hair to keep him busy, especially if they’re waiting for something or together during a really boring lecture. Sirius thinks it’s quite adorable seeing his boyfriend so focused on his hands (or hair).

Stim. Stim. Stim.

Remus stims a lot listening to music, especially if it’s one of those punk rock bands Sirius likes listening to. Serotonin hath been provided for the boy and Sirius (because his short happy werewolf boyfriend is just, *chef’s kiss*) But like sometimes he does these little nose twitches (which are more like tics rather than a stim) or Remus bouncing or swinging his feet when he’s in chair like a five year old kid who’s eaten the entire candy jar.

Arm flappy thing when he gets really excited. There was a time when Sirius and Remus were on a road trip and omg their song came on and Remus was doing the flappy arms because he was so happy as he practically screamed the lyrics.

Remus, rambling about his current hyperfixation, and Sirius, merely admiring his adorable ass boyfriend who’s currently obsessing over whales.

Even though sensory things are more related to autism spectrum disorder (ASD), some people with ADHD can be like that too and Remus definitely is one of those see people. Example, he chews ice really loudly at three am simply because of the way it feels when he does it.

Remus tries his hardest to be quiet in public. Like the fear of people getting angry because he’s very much so a handful and could be labeled as “annoying” to many people and he would rather not upset anyone for being too loud. But he’s containing a lot of energy so sometimes it’s near impossible or he’s bursting with it as soon as he’s away from the public. (Sirius loves seeing him all excited and happy but hates seeing him feeling all down in public so they don’t actually go out often)

Some people think Remus is cool and ADHD is absolutely like, amazing and quirky but it’s a big struggle in his daily life, and affects him more than others think.

There’s these small things he does that Sirius finds cute but others have no shame in bringing Remus down for it, you know, being the ablist pricks they are.

Remus having to explain to some that there’s more to his ADHD than the hyperactivity because some asses just don’t understand and it’s tiresome because people don’t realise not everyone’s ADHD is the same (nor does it fit society’s idea of it)

Remus hates his ADHD so much; wishing he was normal and not just, broken

Sirius knows of his insecurities, showering the boy in many, many compliments and letting him know that Remus is just okay the way that he is.

Remus halfly believing in them because he knows Sirius is right but there’s still a chance Sirius is lying about it.

Sirius is the supportive boyfriend that Remus always needs. Remus having bad thoughts? Not on Sirius’ watch; not while he’s still living and breathing.

Remus’ ADHD being more than just “crackhead” energy because that’s not what it is

**Most of these are things I do and experience as someone with ADHD**

[messrmrcuder]

This. I live for this.

alright, hear me out:

lycanthropy as a metaphor for being trans

specifically, remus lupin’s lycanthropy as being a metaphor for being trans

sure, rowling said it represented having HIV/AIDS (and that’s great, i love her for it) and that david thewlis played the character gay and that the whole werewolf thing can also apply to both of those (i’m not saying they shouldn’t, because they can and should, we need more representation) but the werewolf/trans parallels are so much more prevalent (at least to me)

he ‘became a werewolf’ (realized he was trans) at a young age and subsequently hid it due to prejudice and the only people that new were his parents, teachers, and closets friends (who found out on their own, but that’s not really that important for this meta)

yes, all those apply to being gay/having HIV/AIDS (as rowling intended, at least the HIV/AIDS parallel)

but here’s were (sorry, couldn’t help myself) things get different and more trans specific (again, at least to me) (and we’re also focusing more on trans boy experiences, because that’s what remus would have been)

first: the marauders referred to his lycanthropy as his ‘furry little problem’, which probably has a few different possible meanings, but i like to think of as them referring to his vagina and all the intricacies of that. this ties into my next point

second: he goes through a monthly ‘transformation’. obviously, this would be his period (his uterus is shedding its inner lining like werewolf remus sheds his human self; with lots of blood and pain). his ‘transformations’ follow the lunar cycle, and many menstrual cycles do sync up with the moon (the moon is also a feminine symbol, but that’s not really on topic either). when he ‘transforms’ it is painful and bloody, for a few days before he is irritable and requires chocolate (as pretty much the entire fandom head canons, its practically canon, so i’m including it), sometimes afterwards he needs to be hospitalized.

i don’t know about you, but that sure does remind me of my period

and finally my last point: he goes through multiple transformations (in this metaphor, transformations do double duty as representing both periods and transitioning). if i were to create a monster metaphor for being gay, i would use becoming a vampire. meaning there would only be one ‘transformation’, coming out of the closet and realizing you’re gay. with the werewolf/trans metaphor the ‘transformations’ are continuous throughout his life. the ‘wolf’ (his body dysphoria) has been present since he was five, and, as trans!remus, that would be when he began to dress like his true gender and have short hair. when he gets to hogwarts (age 11) would be when (now) a young trans person would be able to start puberty suppressants. presumably a trans kid in the 70s wouldn’t have those readily available, such as the wolfsbane potion was not available yet. 

–side note: fifth year, when the marauders become animagi to help remus, would be when a trans kid now would stop using puberty suppressants (if they used them, but not the point) and begin hormone treatments (again, if they choose to). i don’t know if that might have some sort of significance yet

so once remus is an adult there is a new potion that has been developed at would make him more a-were (again sorry) of himself rather than be the ‘wolf’ during his ‘transformations’. the wolfsbane potion, as i see it, would be like hormones. remus must take the potion once a day for a week every full moon, while trans remus would have to take hormones once a week every week. 

he has professors and friends help him, offer him a safe space, accept his ‘lycanthopy’, and help ease his ‘transformations’ by becoming animagi in the case of the marauders (which, to me, seems like a non-binary/gender non-comforming metaphor of some kind, but that can be fleshed out later)

he has scars from his ‘transformations’, which can obviously compare to top surgery scars and *TRIGGER WARNING FOR SELF-HARM* scars caused due to depression caused by body dysphoria, bullying, etc *TRIGGER WARNING OVER*.

snape (ever the bad guy) attempts to reveal his secret when they are children and he finally does reveal his secret when they are adults. when parents are told a ‘werewolf’/trans man has been teaching their kids they are outraged and remus is forced to leave his job (again). he will have trouble finding work elsewhere because of the ‘anti-werewolf’ (anti-trans) attitude of the wizarding world. (this also shows how stupid transphobic and lycanphobic people are, after all remus was only dangerous because he forgot to take his ‘potions’/hormones)

so yeah, remus lupin is a trans man and there’s very little you can say to convince me otherwise

(feel free to message me if you disagree with my points, have some other opinions and head canons, or want to help me flesh out some more mythical creatures in harry potter as lgbt+ identities (for instance, a metamorphagi is totally a gender fluid/queer person), or anything else)