micedicebag - Tumblr blog

[micedicebag]

I’m sorry, I can’t come into work today. I didn’t get a long rest and god gave me a point of exhaustion. All my skill checks are at disadvantage.

[micedicebag]

[micedicebag]

Is that a trebuchet in your pants or are you just happy to siege me

[micedicebag]

nothing worse than when the person drawing your blood fails the medicine AND sleight of hand check

[micedicebag]

warlock gf:

me:

warlock gf:

me:

warlock gf:

me:

warlock gf: so dinner tonight is kind of a deconstructed pasta bake

me: by deconstructed you mean

warlock gf: i eldritch blasted it

me: you eldritch blasted it

[micedicebag]

you have to pretend to be a wizard sometimes, for your health. the obvious method is d&d, but you can also open the dishwasher on cold mornings and raise your arms dramatically as you're enveloped in the steam, or you can find a really good stick to walk around in the woods with, or you can run a bizarrely dedicated rp blog on tumblr. but it's an important component of human well being to occasionally pretend to be a wizard.

[micedicebag]

The urge to call JSTOR "Jester"

[micedicebag]

a side effect of magic systems that drain your life force if you overextend yourself or try to harness more power than you possess should be that your body starts to fall apart as it draws on your reserves to make up the deficit. old wounds should reopen, bones should become brittle and break, your immune system should weaken, and your organs should begin to fail and die if you push yourself too far. your body shouldn't simply crumble to dust, but rot, sloughing away in agonising chunks as the necrosis spreads.

[micedicebag]

i'm like if a cool knight or warrior didn't have any muscles or strength and wasn't very brave or confident and had no strong convictions or motivation and couldn't fight

[micedicebag]

[micedicebag]

Warlocks after a short rest

[micedicebag]

me when i fucking GET you

[micedicebag]

G… gender roles? [I open my hand, confused, and reveal a fistful of dnd dice] Which one do I…?

[micedicebag]

everything reminds me of her (d&d character from now-defunct campaign)

[micedicebag]

i love inflict wounds conceptually so much. other spells always beating around the bush but u can count on inflict wounds to do what it says in the tin. this is what u came here to do. cut out the middleman and simply Inflict Wounds. spell of Hey (taps u on the shoulder) Fuck You In Particular. beloved deity unwind this fool

[micedicebag]

[micedicebag]

Happy New Year! May yours be filled with guiding lights and good stories.