michaelsgavin

[michaelsgavin]

Team Nice Dynamite + abcs (insp.)

[michaelsgavin]

I still have vivid memories of watching Rage Quit at midnight in a room I shared with friends in junior college, trying my best not to wake them up with my laughter. The year was 2012. My whole body shook as I tried to stifle what could've been a howling laughter, and I'm pretty sure my friend on the bunk bed above me woke up anyway. The next day, I went through the entire playlist for Rage Quit.

A year after that, I moved across the globe for my degree. I was alone, homesick, and miserable -- plunged into unfamiliar territories and culture, I had a hard time making friends. At my worst, I was severely depressed, lying in my bed for hours, not caring if I was alive or not. I only survived because of the friends I made here, in the rtah fandom, who held my hands through my loneliness.

I think my story, though the details may vary, is a lot of other people's stories, too.

I'm sure we all have complicated feelings about RTAH's death. I do. A lot of its decisions and fuck ups have caused me great pains and I firmly believe this company's death is long overdue. But it has also brought me so much joy as a teen and allowed me to meet so many of my dearest friends -- the bad never quite overshadowed the good, just breathing side-by-side, in grief.

Farewell, Rooster Teeth. You helped me through the lowest points of my life and you gave me some of its best -- laughing at the Surgeon Simulator Rage Quit, waiting for the next Immersion episode to drop, building a whole new universe of Fake AH Crew with the fandom, voting for the IB Podcast win another podcast award, making 20 different gifs of the same moments between Michael and Gavin.

I wish we could've parted in better ways. I'll never forget being 16, staying up until 2am with my friends to watch a dude eat 12 lava cakes for a donation to a children's hospital. Thank you, in spite of everything.

Cue Good Riddance by Green Day.

[michaelsgavin]

rest in peace rooster teeth, my absolute beloathed. i will miss you dearly

[michaelsgavin]

honestly the plus of rt shutting down is reminding me who the fuck my mutuals are on the dash bc we all moved on years ago. hey guys

[michaelsgavin]

[michaelsgavin]

so long and thanks for all the fish

[michaelsgavin]

[michaelsgavin]

hi this is dee if you see me following you here from twitter this is NOT the actual blog you should find me at. i’ll be on kenbunshokus for a while before making a non-anime personal. love yall

[michaelsgavin]

x

[michaelsgavin]

Jeremy spoke about the situation last night, and I wanted to repost it here because I feel like it’s something we could all stand to hear. Apologies about the watermark, I had to compress it because it was over the file size limit. Time stamp of 2 hours, 9 minutes if anyone wants to see it for themselves.

I had to cut it for time, but he ended it by saying: “It’s okay to not be okay right now. Because eventually we will be! Remember that.”

[michaelsgavin]

@ that anon asking if it’s okay to not be actively engaging with the situation anymore - absolutely it’s fine to check out right now. he’s been removed, to that degree it’s over and it’s being dealt with. there’s nothing to gain from re-exposing yourself to triggering accounts. these girls’ statements are good to have for general record/healing, but the fight has been fought and won and everyone’s allowed to rest/process this traumatic event however they need to.

^

[michaelsgavin]

anyone else just tryna go about their lives but keep being hit with a wave of “ryan? ryan HAYWOOD?” cos like. it’s been 4 days i have shit to do

[michaelsgavin]

another ryan haywood victim has spoken out twitter(.)com/MichelleVologs/status/1314588030926090240

link + summary. this is nsfw as it goes fairly in depth about what happened between them physically when she was underage, and i’m sticking a blanket cw on here for how he behaved when they were in a room together. i’m not sure what cw would cover it, but it definitely has the ability to be triggering.

she opens with an outline, and says she’s giving info because she thinks the community deserves to know, and specifies she’s only talking about her experiences and emphasizes that the victims coming forward are the ones who deserve empathy, not him.

aug 2017, ryan makes instagram, she’s 17. she dm-ed him how much she admired him, they had a casual back and forth until he checked her instagram and saw her pictures and changed his tone to flirty. she says she tried to play off his first couple of flirty messages as just him being awkward, but he keeps leaning into it. (he tells her he’s alone in his room at pax and he asks “what kind of package” she wants and she jokes about “what’s the dad package?” still trying to play it off and he says “hugs? it’s a bit different from the daddy package ;)”

she stops trying to play it off at that point and asks what’s the situation with him and his wife, he gives her a sob story about how he loves her but their sex life is dead, michelle says “i am so sorry to laurie” and says her reasoning was if that she was fulfilling his physical needs, their marriage could continue, specifies that she knows it was stupid but thought it was a solution at the time

she asked him if he slept with fans, he said once a long time ago, but he didn’t anymore. she says her reasoning is that if she did it, he wouldn’t risk his career by asking a different fan, or risk his marriage. she says they started sexting consistently and in sept all of ah was in la and ryan had his own room, say on sept 23 she lost her virginity to him and posts a timestamped photo of him walking around his hotel room where you can see her legs on the bed, mentions he seemed to be into the virgin thing and “teaching” her.

he never asked for her age, just asked her if she was in high school or college, and she was in college at the time as a 17 year old.

he told her that whenever she was ready for sex to just tell him, she told him, he immediately ripped off her dress, put on a condom w no foreplay and went straight for penetration, which she says “obviously didn’t work”, and his solution to make it go smoother was to take the condom off, finger her for a minute or so, and then penetrate her again condomless. she says it lasted for hours and was pretty rough.

november she entered a relationship, so she ended their sexual relationship but he continued to check in on her every few months to ask about her life and school and if she was single. she says she really thought he cared about her because he supported her a lot, but after tessa came forward she found out there were other people with stories pretty much identical to hers that she realized that it was wrong, and she wasn’t special, or a one time thing, but a part of his pattern of young fans who admired him with little experience. 

she says she doesn’t think it’s a coincidence that many of the people he engaged with had mental health issues, or were virgins,

she says that he noticed she was insecure about being naked and he said “i hate that you don’t see what i see, but on the other hand, i guess i’m glad because if you weren’t so insecure, if you didn’t know how hot you were, you wouldn’t be sleeping with me.”

she says they started things back up after awhile, and she told him that she had been underage when they had sex, and his response was “well, i trust you more than anyone.” and she says his “i didn’t do anything illegal” statement is bullshit.

she says she was very conflicted and initially wasn’t going to reach out to anyone or come forward because she wanted to protect him as someone she cared about, but it’s become clear he’s not a good person who does not deserve anyone’s trust or empathy.

she emphasizes that being careful of the power dynamics of boss/employee means we should also be careful of age gap power dynamics and celebrity/fan power dynamics.

she hopes that her story clarifies the situation for the community, even if it’s not the full picture, and that support is really important for people coming forward because they’re vulnerable and there are even more girls who haven’t said anything yet, with stories worse than hers.

[michaelsgavin]

I cannot describe how much I spiritually connect with these images of Micheal Jones

[michaelsgavin]

Hi you don't have to reply to this, but I noticed that your blog's sidebar says "ryan haywood is very precious" and I thought you might want to change that? Sorry if you already know and me pointing it out is unnecessary, but I figured I would bring it to your attention just in case you hadn't noticed

thank you...actually i noticed but i was planning to erase this whole blog anyway so i figured there was no point in changing the little things. this blog is steeped with ryan content i don’t think it’s even possible to even begin to take him out of it -- i’m probably locking/deleting the blog this weekend

thanks for the heads up anyway!

[michaelsgavin]

[michaelsgavin]

if you understand this meme you qualify for a senior discount