michaelslimee

[michaelslimee]

A mood struck me so instead of stewing in it i’m going to vent

Excess nostalgia makes me sad. I dunno why. Well, I do, but I like to be oblivious about obvious problems I have. Because I’m all about denial. Back to nostalgia though. Starts off simple like “Ah yeah I remember that haha those were the days.” then it turns into “I’m just going to sit here and think about all the cool stuff from that time”. And without fail I’ll try to remember something and just can’t. I just don’t have enough to go off of but I can remember the feeling. Whatever the feeling is I just hold on to it in an effort to remember. But I don’t. This leads to thoughts of “that thing is gone forever you can’t get it back” and “time moves forward but all the good times were left behind now it’s nothing but hardships”. I hate that my brain does this. Then I can’t vent to people because I feel like I’m being overly dramatic. Like I’m upset that the show Toonsylvania is considered lost media. It is easily the WORST of the Steven Spielberg cartoon shows of that era (Tiny Toons, Animaniacs, Freakazoid etc...). However the fact that two-thirds of the show have never been released in any format makes me feel like I’m missing out on my childhood. This doesn’t just effect media but food too. I was diagnosed with celiac disease my sophomore year of high school. At the height of the Gluten-Free diet craze. So of course I get a gluten disease. I’ve never liked bread but now that I haven’t had real bread in like 7 or 8 years suddenly I crave sandwiches and burgers. Knowing I can’t go back to that stings. 

I’m not going to be dumb and pretend this isn’t why I went on my multi week adventure to recreate tv from my childhood. This was 100% my motivation. I hate that I can’t have things, so fuck it I’ll make it myself. And I dunno maybe the moral of the story is just make cool shit even if there is literally no point in doing so aside from your own mental benefit.

[michaelslimee]

Yo what’s up with Barbacoa?

I feel like it’s been a while since I’ve talked about it at all. Reason being it’s going through an overhaul. Not going to be an RPG and definitely not being a thing anytime soon. The realization that I’d have to create levels and program combat made me sour on RPG Maker. And in trying to make the story come across in that format I also realized that my story needed an actual direction.

The cult shenanigans felt like the catalyst for the story rather than an actual plot itself. Had another dream not too long ago that helped me put the pieces together. As of right now, my plot idea can basically be described as Indiana Jones mixed with Evil Dead mixed with Men in Black. With Barbacoa joining an organization tasked with Globe trotting and finding items of great power while getting into hijinks with other groups seeking to do the same. Still not 100% sure how I’m going to tell this story exactly. I’m debating learning how to use Renpy and going full on visual novel. At the very least I’m feeling more motivated now than I was some time ago.

[michaelslimee]

Story Number 6: Getting in to acting.

I think I’ve written this out on my main blog like a year ago but now I can go into dumb detail so why not rewrite it here?

I distinctly remember telling someone in 2nd or 3rd grade that acting was dumb. I think I associated acting with celebrities and celebrities with being popular. And every tv show ever told me being popular meant you were a jerk. So I didn’t want that. Against my will I was cast in school plays throughout elementary school. The only one I specifically remember was about a dude using his rocket to fly around and learn about all the planets. I played “Neptune Dad”. Now it’s never been clear to me if I played a dad who lived on Neptune or the planet itself, but I digress. I had a lot of fun but refused to seriously consider acting. I didn’t really change until my senior year of high school. That time in my life was a large period of growth for me which is why it comes up so often. But god it feels redundant to type. (Side note jeez I wish I had a few stories about life post HS). Anyway, that year was when I thought to myself “Screw my reputation! I’m primarily taking electives this year and am very bored! Imma agree to random shit.”. Started when a video production teacher told the class that he heard the school was looking for someone to announce the freshman football games. No one spoke up so I did it. Mind you I knew almost nothing about football so I was not the correct choice. I basically sat in a booth overlooking the field and would repeat into the microphone whatever the scorekeeper said. I had a bunch of fun doing it. After that I saw my school’s production of Grease. One of my close friends was playing a main role so I went to support him rather than any interest in theater or acting. A week later he tells me that they are casting for their next big show “Arsenic and Old Lace”, and that he thought I should try out. I told him I had no interest in acting. He bugged me about it and told me the plot. It sounded amusing, but I didn’t really want to. He told me to just stop by auditions with a monologue prepared. I gave in and learned a monologue from “Plan 9 From Outer Space”. I figured if I wasn’t going to get a part I might as well have fun with it. The auditions were odd. It was in a cramped classroom and everyone else auditioning was also there. I performed the monologue in a goofy German accent, received some laughs and polite applause and sat down. I was told I’d receive an email if they wanted to call me back. And to my surprise I got the first callback. I read for a handful of characters the next day and did pretty okay. I got a second callback and they asked me to read for a couple more characters. Some time passes and I check the final cast list and I was cast as “The Reverend Dr. Harper”. I’d basically get maybe 15-20 minutes of stage time but that was 15-20 more than I was expecting. The next month or so was awesome. Rehearsals were great. There was also some playful competition. See, our school theater program typically did two casts for plays. One made up of theater students and one made up of non-theater students. I fell in to the latter. Our cast wanted to prove we were superior, so we kicked some ass in rehearsals and the final performances. I’ve heard our cast was preferred but I can’t confirm that. Either way, I wanted more. More acting. I “caught the bug”. But I didn’t want to do more stage work. I enjoyed the experience but man I suck at stage business. I just don’t know what to do with my hands and you can tell just by looking that I’m keeping track of stage directions with every movement. I said the words fine, but I needed a lot of work. In rehearsals someone said another cast member would be a good voice actor. I had a mild interest in voice acting but after the play I figured I’d give it a shot. I signed up to BTVA and started auditioning after graduation. A year later I was cast in the Let’s Dub Project. It’s been 4 or 5 years since I’ve started this wild ride and I don’t plan on stopping now.

[michaelslimee]

Story Number 5: Clearing my thoughts.

Two of my friends got engaged not too long ago. It’s kind of surreal. That the first wedding I’d be going to in my twenties would be the wedding of two people I’ve known for maybe 7 or 8 years. I figured it’d be between people I had known for longer. Then again I always thought I would’ve been in contact with some of my childhood friends longer. I really only intended this side blog for chronicling some funny stories I didn’t want to forget. But I guess I’m using it to collect my thoughts and I suppose vent. Sometimes when I get together with my current crop of friends we talk about how we came to know each other. Once, my friend’s fiancee said that she believes she had hung out with us for maybe three years before I initiated a conversation with her. My response was “That’s entirely possible”.

 I’ve always believed that it takes me a while to warm up to people. I’ve been sitting back and thinking about why that is. It’s not really that I’m introverted or socially awkward or what have you. I think it’s more or less I have trust issues? As odd as that feels to type. I’ve sat on this idea for a long time. I’ve considered what it is that caused this state of mind. It’s probably when I transferred schools in the 2nd grade. That first week I was the new kid was great. Everyone volunteered to show me around. Sometimes there’d be arguments as to whose turn it was. There’s always a period like this when a new kid comes in. I was excited to be getting attention and I quickly warmed up to them. Which apparently was a mistake. I can distinctly remember the day it changed. When out of no where everyone stopped caring. I remember the disgust in this kid’s eyes when he saw his name on the board, showing it was his day to show me around. “I don’t want to do that. He’s annoying.” And like a switch being flipped everyone’s attitude changed. Now I was the annoying kid who no one wanted anything to do with. And yeah after some more time I built up a friend group, but it just took me longer. After that I had a new mindset. These people didn’t care about me, they wanted something from me. On the chance I ended up being the coolest kid around, they wanted credit for helping me. They got to know me and learned I wasn’t so that ended that. This feeling went on throughout elementary and middle school. And most of the time, I was right. Whenever anyone came to talk to me, they either wanted me to do something or they wanted something from me. I got bitter really early on. I would snap at people and that didn’t help. Now they had a new game, pick on the kid to see what his reaction would be. This probably continued until 6th or 7th grade. But I’d cooled off a bit around 8th. Until the day of the school trip to a theme park. I left my friends for a bit to get food. Two classmates came up and asked what I was up to. Somewhat out of character for me I tried to converse with these people I wasn’t particularly close to. They asked me what rides I’d been on. I got excited and started to tell them. The second the name of the second ride left my mouth, they looked at each other, nodded, and walked away. I was still talking but they didn’t care. They got what they wanted so they were done with me. I felt silly for letting down my guard. Before my freshman year of high school I decided I wouldn’t talk to anyone unless I was spoken to first. Only exceptions being people I knew I could trust. I didn’t want a reputation to start building up so I figured I’d leave as little impression I could. And it actually worked. Kind of. I slept a lot in class, so I got a reputation for sleeping in every class. But that made me intriguing apparently. People were curious and initiated conversation with me frequently. I kept my answers brief and kept quiet. Made me more interesting somehow. I wasn’t popular by any means. But people weren’t actively seeking me out to get things from me so it worked out. By senior year I was having a pretty good time. My time spent in high school was actually quite pleasant. I have cooled down considerably and can usually talk to people without too much trouble. But there’s probably some residual stuff going on. It’d explain why it took me three years to actively seek conversation with someone I’d known for a bit. All things considered I’m pretty happy and have been for a while. It’s just interesting to think I’ve probably still got some mental barriers up from way back. I guess if I seem weird and distant, odds are I’m still warming up.

[michaelslimee]

Story Number 4: I have weird ass dreams.

I once took a psychology course that covered the concept that dreams can show one’s true desires. While an interesting theory I’ve never bought in to it. When we were discussing the validity of this theory students were raising their hands and explaining why they thought there was merit to it based on their own dreams. I was the only doof who raised his hand to disagree. “I once dreamt I was driving a large banana car. I’m not entirely sure whether or not this is some deep desire in the back of my mind.” I should’ve specified that I meant a car made of bananas and not a car shaped like a banana but I feel my point stands. The instructor was kind of at a loss and moved on. I’ve always had extremely odd and vivid dreams. No more odd than the one I had last night:

It opens on me and a friend hanging out in his backyard. I am consoling him because a sibling of his had just passed away (just in the dream, not real life). His reactions are off and dismissive. At one point saying “eh, it was for the best”. I can’t believe what I’m hearing so I ask him to explain. He looks at me confused. Like I’m the one out of the loop. “I told you about my religion right?” “I mean, yeah what about it?” “We sacrifice the youngest of our family to the great being.” “What the fuck?! You absolutely did not tell me about this!” Evidently he belonged to a cult worshiping a powerful deity and practiced witchcraft. After badgering him for a period of time he begins to see me as a liability and calls upon the rest of his family to detain me. Just in time, the third friend called upon to console him arrives. Causing the family to cease their actions to not make a scene. I secretly get the friend to distract the rest so I can make a break for it. It works and I run off. The rest of the dream involves me traveling the world trying to escape this cult while meeting an underground society dedicated to their destruction that for some reason includes a bunch of acquaintances I’ve made throughout the years.

Sounds like a wild ride. But in hindsight the one aspect of the dream that makes everything fall apart is that everyone referred to me not by my actual name, but by “Barbacoa”. As in the Caribbean style of cooking meat, barbacoa. And at no point during the dream did I question this. It wasn’t like a secret code name or anything. That just was my name.

[michaelslimee]

Story Number 3: High School Story

In my senior year of high school I took a video production course for second period. The weird thing about my school was each year they’d switch up how the period’s worked. This one year you’d have periods 1, 3, and 5 on like Mondays and Wednesdays and 2, 4, 6 on Tuesdays and Thursdays with friday being a clusterfuck of all 6. The way they’d time these out was screwed up too because you’d have 2 hour classes everyday leading up to friday where all of the sudden it was like 45 minute classes. Anyway, Tuesdays and Thursdays were awesome because I would start the day with a 2 hour video production course. We’d edit videos, film video projects, do scripting, etc... The only downside were these two dudes who would argue constantly about dumb shit. “Dude, your phone doesn’t need to be that big that’s the size of a fucking tablet” “So? Your car engine doesn’t need to be that big cause it’s a fucking car and you aren’t racing anybody.” This back and forth was the most common. Dude A really took issue with Dude B’s phone. I can’t tell you why, it really didn’t matter. But like you’d just have to accept that in 2nd period while working you would hear these guys going back and forth for an hour and a half max. Part of the “fun” was seeing what they’d argue about next. One week it was about gun control and I made my way to the production room to just not hear how heated they were about to get. I did catch one bit though “Look at England! They banned guns and guess how many knife and hammer incidents they have?!” “Who the fuck runs around swinging a hammer dipshit?!”. When they got really heated it just wasn’t fun to be around. I thought the gun control one was going to be the worst but I was soooo wrong. It was nearing the end of the year and I was just exhausted. While walking up to the door before class I can hear muffled angry voices. “Great. They’re starting early today.” I thought to myself. I open the door and am unfortunate enough to hear Dude A yell “THE NAACP IS A RACIST ORGANIZATION!!!!”. I then shut the door and sat outside until the bell rang. A couple other students did the same. We shared glances at each other without saying a word. 

[michaelslimee]

Story Number 2: Voice Acting Workshops

I’ve been to maybe 6 or 7 voice acting workshops. I’ve come to the conclusion that I can’t run into Tony Oliver under normal circumstances. The second time went something like this: my dad drives me to San Francisco and decides to check out the studio with me. We walk around for a bit until I finally find the stairs to the main studio. I overhear my dad talking behind me asking for directions and what not. I think nothing of it. Then my dad starts asking questions about the building, where the bathrooms are and if there’s a kitchen or fridge. I turn around expecting to see an employee of the building. Nope. It’s Tony. Tony has this look on his face that says “I really want to tell you I don’t work here, but you’re not giving me any time.” I step in and distract my dad and greet Tony. He nods and heads inside. I inform my dad that he was holding up the instructor, but that it wasn’t a big deal. Fairly harmless incident but embarrassing none the less. Cut to two years later. I take the train to SF this time. The train stop is maybe a 15 minute walk to the studio. After navigating the city I check the time and see that I’ll be 5 or so minutes late. I turn the corner and see someone sitting outside the building checking their phone. “Oh another student is late. That’s a relief.” Get a little closer and, guess who, it’s Tony. I ask if he’s having trouble getting inside. He tells me he somehow got locked out. We sit outside awkwardly making chit chat until a student notices we people are surprisingly late. I wave down the student and he opens the door. There are other examples but they aren’t nearly as interesting. Mainly bumping into him at inopportune moments. Like in the heat of a directing session that’s running overtime, or someone forgot the intermediate class files resulting in us having to do advanced scenes. I think the only time a normal session took place was maybe the first. In which nothing went wrong and everyone had a good time. 

[michaelslimee]

Story Number 1: Raccoons at Camp

Sixth grade was weird. At least in California. Around that time it was announced that we would be having "Science Camp". A week away from home at camp! Oh the possibilities! Science! "I'm gonna make so many robots" my friend Miles exclaimed. Alas there weren't going to be any robots. They didn't do a particularly good job of explaining Science Camp. Or at least we didn't care enough to pay attention. 11 year olds can be dicks mind you. But we were excited anyway. The permission slips were signed and within a couple weeks we were off! The bus ride was a few hours but we didn't care. Kids from all three schools in the district, plus schools from other districts would be there! We figured we'd run into friends we hadn't seen in years! Which we did. Cool! Halfway there we stopped at a park and mingled with the other schools. Roughly 2 minutes pass until I find a friend of mine from preschool. We chatted it up an some kid I didn't know attempted to bully us. "You girls exchanging numbers? Ya gonna go on a date?". I stared at him in silence for what felt like a minute. "Who are you?" I ask. He just kinda stands there. Then my friend and I walk off. The kid doesn't follow. Not entirely sure what his goal was, but I digress. After an hour and a half lunch break we're all back on the buses. Smooth sailing from here. The bus is loud. Kids sharing stories, laughing, playing games. Until a voice cuts through the air. "Shut up! I can't hear myself think you're all so loud! I will turn this damn bus around and drive all the way back if I hear a peep out of any one of you!". Stunned silence. The bus was carrying maybe 60 students (it was a fairly large bus). The teachers who were on board gave disbelieving stares to one another. Sure enough, none of us talked. The 5 hour bus ride clearly took its toll on the driver. I later learned they were fired shortly after. We arrive at camp finally and step off the bus. The camp was based around biology and earth science much to the chagrin of Miles. No robots pal. We were then separated into cabins with team names. #TeamQuails4Life. We were assigned a team leader; a high schooler who signed up to chaperone partly because he wanted to get away from school and partly to make out with his girlfriend in the woods. The camp counselors made it clear to not leave food in the cabin. As it would attract animals. 11 year olds saw this more as a challenge than a decree. Considering it was a game they already played in school. "How much food can I eat in class without getting caught". So of course that night kids ate in bed. Anthony (I think his name was) came up with a brilliant plan. It's nighttime. The teachers are asleep. Let's all go to the girls cabin and hangout. (It was a more innocent time). And despite having no desire to get caught I also didn't want to be a snitch if a counselor came by the cabin and I was the only one there. So I agreed to go. Upon reaching the girls cabin, our illustrious leader saw the light of a counselor's lantern in the distance and we decided to run back to our cabin. Where was our high school age team leader you may be wondering? With us. Because his girlfriend was the team leader of the girl's cabin. So a bunch of 11 and 12 year olds convinced him it was a good idea. Upon making it back to the cabin. We spot the door wide open. We stop in our tracks. "Is it a counselor?" Jerome the liar(a story for another time) whispered. Anthony walks up to the cabin and falls on his ass running from, what else, a raccoon! Eventually counselors found us and we were scolded for leaving food in the cabin. Such is life.