micheals-grave

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"You dont do anything for this house".. I dont do anything? I DONT FUCKING DO ANYTHING??

LIKE I GIVE A SHIT FUCK YOU

YOUR NOT A GOOD PERSON

WHAT KIND OF PARENT IS WILLING TO BOTH PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY ABUSE THEIR CHILD

"DO I HAVE TO TAKE YOU TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL SO THEY CAN CALL YOU INSANE?"

"DO YOU WANT ME TO HIT YOU AGAIN?" FUCKING HIT ME, KILL ME ALREADY

YOU MADE ME LIKE THIS, THIS IS YOUR FAULT, I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO HAVE A GOOD MORNING AGAIN BUT NO I HVE TO FUCKING SIT HERE ANOTHER FUCKING MINUTE LIKE THIS

FUCK EVERYTHING

I JUST WANT TO HAVE SOMETHING

JUST LET ME ENJOY WHAT TIME I HAVE WITH THE ONE GOOD THING IN MY LIFE

JUST FUCKING LET ME BE OKAY

IS THAT SO MUCH TO FUCKING ASK??

I WANT TO FUCKING KILL MYSELF..

.....i promised i wouldnt.. i wont.... im trying my best......

...

..i cant even ask for help because im using Mobile and i dont want to use up too much...

im just sitting in my room, i locked myself in and im just trying to calm down....

..your not okay rn, i shouldnt be like this... im sorry...

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i do too.. its nice even if we dont say much

We've just been sleeping in vc more often

idk

in my head for some reason i just imagine that im sitting there with you while you sleep

i like just hearing your voice and you saying you like my voice so i try to talk and find something to say but i dont have much anymore, neither of us do

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ugh

todays been stressful, its just my fault because i got in my own head and panicked over bullshit that i dont even remember anymore

i feel dumb

[micheals-grave]

We've just been sleeping in vc more often

idk

in my head for some reason i just imagine that im sitting there with you while you sleep

i like just hearing your voice and you saying you like my voice so i try to talk and find something to say but i dont have much anymore, neither of us do

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idk what im doing

i want to tell you something but i cant find the words and i dont even know if i should

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..id usually hear the notifications from my computer but because my parents took a piece so it doesnt work....

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"Im sorry"

i say that alot..

feel that alot

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My mother asked if i would care if she just died because of an argument and my brother answered for me.

He said yes

He never understands why i hate them

I dont fucking get it i fucking hate them with every fiber of my being.

I wouldnt care i just want to scream and yell i want to have my fucking words but its fucking pointless

I fucking hate this place

i want to fucking leave

i want to just let go

i want to fucking hit something i want to break something beyond repair i fucking hate this

I cant express emotions because of my life i have things to say but never the words i just want to fucking speak i fucking cant LET ME BE FUCKING HEARD LET ME HAVE SOME FUCKING REASON JUST LET ME SAY SOMETHING

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Im just going to stop talking because it feels like everything i saybwill just be a bother or something i shouldnt have said

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I think school is just amplifying me when im like this

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Im not eating breakfast today because im not hungry.

And because food still tastes wrong whenever i eat it

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I really honestly do want to die alot of the time

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The realization that our brother could hear you and that you could hear him was something that upset us all.

We care for our brother because he raised us. But he doesnt understand so much.

So we stay quiet.

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We are close to snapping.

Yet we dont.

Part of us is hiding from everyone.

The rage, the anger. It hides.

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These games are boring. I dont join because i do not accept this role, i will just be broken and that is it. I will take my fate by the throat.

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i give up.

bed despite pain because even the venting is falling apart.

see you in the morning. maybe a better mood and physical state.

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you somehow like this empty husk.

i cant tell if your lying or not

i dont know what im saying anymore.