microsff

[microsff]

"I worry about the prince," the king said.

"What is the issue?" said the witch.

"We held balls with all eligible ladies, but he found none. So we held tourneys, with all eligible knights. Still none."

"There are those who seek none."

"So none can turn his head?"

"Perhaps. Ask him."

"Amazing!"

[microsff]

Kzerplt extruded a querysome appendage.

"Professor, why is my report marked as Fail?"

"Clearly, you have just made things up."

"I did not! I found and studied an uncontacted world, and reported truthly!"

"Absurd! A technological yet irrational society? This 'Earth' you dreamed up is nonsense!"

[microsff]

"May I have your name?" the faerie said.

"William," she said with a smile.

"Ah ah!" The faerie gave a wicked laugh. "I have your name! Now no-one will call you by it!"

"Thank you," she said.

"To win it back, you must- what?"

"I will find me a new one," she said, "one that suits me better."

[microsff]

"This again?" the dragon said. "It's been just a few centuries since the last time.'

"Please," the knight said.

"I asked you to make sure you had a way of getting rid of bad kings yourself, before you made any new ones."

"We didn't understand we made a king."

"You are such fools. Very well."

[microsff]

** I try to remember to make "Collected stories from a month, with commentary" posts for my supporters on Patreon and Ko-Fi, twice monthly.

Today I posted the collected stories from June 2022, and for once I have left it public to let people see an example.

Patreon link

Ko-Fi link

Enjoy! **

[microsff]

"Can it be wrong to love?" the young woman asked.

The witch suppressed a sigh and a slew of memories. "You need to be more specific."

"There's a woman... Wise, patient, kind, and... she knows magic..."

"Nothing wrong with loving a woman," the witch said at last. "It might be unrequited, though."

[microsff]

"There are protests, your majesty."

"Good," said the Emperor. "What are they protesting?"

"Grain prices. But why are protests good?"

"What would you call a society with no protests?"

"Happy, your majesty."

"I would call it oppressed. Prepare a report on their grievances."

[microsff]

The Terrible Tower of Terror crumbled.

"Thus ends an Era," the Elf said.

"Aye," the Dwarf nodded. "I reckon the Age of Man begins now."

"And our kin, old friend, and all magic, will fade."

"Wait, what?" said the Human.

"It is Fated."

"Then I'll fight Fate."

"You have my axe!"

"And my bow!"

[microsff]

"If they have to do it, they should do it in private."

"Yeah!"

"It's not right, doing it in the open where kids can see."

"Yeah! It's not like they have to, it's something they choose to do."

"True. Hate is a lifestyle choice."

"Absol- Hate?"

"Yeah. What did you think we were talking about?"

[microsff]

"Why did you let that princess go?" one dragon asked another.

"He told me he's a prince."

"Fair enough. He's still dressed-"

"He hasn't told his parents yet."

"I see. Did you offer to vouch for him?"

"Naturally, but I won't out him."

"Of course not. Anyway, does he have any sisters?"

[microsff]

The sigil was drawn in salt and ash, the candles lit at the pentagram points, the incantation declaimed.

There was a shimmer - a demon appeared.

"Curious. What ritual is this?"

"I got it from ChatGPT. I included all protections in my prompt!"

"I see," the demon said and stepped out of the sigil.

[microsff]

"At last!" He held up a simple gold ring. "I have searched for this for years!"

"What is it?"

"A shapeshifting ring. I'll put it on… Imagine myself as… Ah! Wonderful!"

"I see no difference?"

"I have no joint pain!"

"Wow! Can it do other changes?"

"Anything you can imagine. Want to try?"

[microsff]

A spaceship landed in the park. A door dilated and an alien emerged. It skittered to a notice board and carefully studied one of the posters.

It returned to the spaceship and soon came out carrying a cat and a mobile phone.

"Hi, we have found your cat Pebbles...Yes... Our secret base on Ganymede."

[microsff]

"Oh," the unicorn said, "I guess you have caught me. What now?"

"Is it true you can purify anything, and remove poison?" the virgin asked.

"I can."

"How are you at hiding?"

"I can't hide from the innocent, but can evade anyone else."

"Good. I'll need to smuggle you into TV news studios."

[microsff]

"I heard today," the cat I share a house with said, "that you humans only have one life."

"Most of us have only one, yes," I said.

"And you chose to spend it with me."

"Well, you moved in."

"You chose to spend it with me."

"When you put it like that, yes."

"You are wiser than you look."

[microsff]

You can't kiss in a space suit.

Nor hug or caress.

Of course, that would raise the heart rate, consuming more oxygen, and we have so little, so little left.

There's a chance help will arrive before it runs out.

If it doesn't, I'll regret not defying the vacuum and-

They're here. They're here.

[microsff]

Ko-Fi takes a much smaller cut.

** Apologies for being quiet, I've been made redundant from my day job, so I've been mourning a timeline I had been looking forward to, where I kept working with these good colleagues doing interesting things.

The union made sure I've got a decent severance package, and there are jobs, but…

… I haven't found a new job yet, and …

…er …

Um.

Incidentally, I've just posted the collected stories from March 2025 for my supporters on Ko-Fi and Patreon. **