middlesiblingprblems

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I would like everyone to know that I already use this on my youngest step sibling who has just entered his teens while I am already in my 20s.

Him: Please, you can't tell me that you never went to parties when you were my age!

Me: I didn't.

Him: I can't help if you weren't cool enough!

Me: You realise that when I was your age, I was legally not allowed to leave the house without good reason, right? Right?

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Funny how a commitment to a cat lasts longer than most marriages.

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Imagine memorising this? I would kill myself before I got to 1000.

It's actually pretty clever and logical.

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My brother was the youngest and only son. He got parents who went to all his games, who bought him what he wanted, who doted on him, who made him the centre of their world. He never understood why I had a bad relationship with them.

Until they up and left.

And suddenly, the version of my parents that I knew, absent, unkind, selfish, narcissistic, made sense. Suddenly, he understood.

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But like... what are the rules? If they fight me, does that count as my fight for the quarter, too? What about hair pulling, biting, nails? Can I use weapons?

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The universal law of humanity: if there is a hopscotch, you must hop the scotch.

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My friend broke up with her boyfriend because apparently they're "too touchy" with their friends. Bro, you haven't seen us be touchy with each other.

shipping characters who are just friends in canon is more than okay but what’s annoying is when people take screenshots of them touching and say “friends don’t do that!”. i hate to break it to you but friends do hug and hold hands and cuddle. saying ‘friends don’t do that’ is reenforcing the idea that physical touch is reserved for lovers

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yeah, house doesn’t actually like cameron you can clearly tell from the way he immediately stops and looks up at cuddy when she tells him cameron was worried about him.

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Waiting for post grad acceptance so I'm not fucking risking!

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My first gen z experience in the workplace:

Me (21): *Makes small talk*

Boss's Boss (38): *Makes a joke*

Me: (thinking we're talking casually) *Makes a joke back*

Boss's Boss: *thinks I'm serious* Oh, no. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for it to be taken seriously. I'm really sorry to have offended you!

Me: Don't worry. It's not that deep.

Boss's Boss: ...

Me: ...

Boss's Boss: What?

Me: ...uhm... please don't make me explain that.

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It doesn't seem like a now problem.

Or

It doesn't feel like a me problem.

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Living alone with your siblings.

Expectations:

3 attempted murders a day, constant fighting over clothing, no dishes being done, fighting over laundry.

Reality:

Healthy communication, constant sharing, equal division of chores to what you bring into the house, silence.

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High school teacher: We don't care about the trees! Kill those trees for more pages!

University professor: *hand me back my essay* I got about two paragraphs in, and it looked like you knew your stuff, so I didn't read the rest.

Both are true stories.

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Okay, so I've never seen Beetlejuice before the new movie was released. Can't tell you why I never watched it. It was released before my time, my parents weren't fans, it's just not that big a movie where I'm from.

But my TikTok has been filled with Beetlejuice Beetlejuice videos. And I decided "fuck, I'm in need of a new hyper-fixation" and decided to watch both Beetlejuice and the new Beetlejuice Beetlejuice.

And this ship is my new hyper-fixation. I love them together. I was sad when they didn't marry in the new movie.

So TikTok led me to this fandom, and I will forever be grateful for it.

People on TikTok coming into the Beetlejuice fandom since the new movie came out: OMG WHY ARE PEOPLE SHIPPING BEETLEJUICE AND LYDIA NOW?! WHAT A BUNCH OF FREAKS!

Me, who’s been in the fandom since 1999:

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I recently got my younger sibling a dog. Rest assured, I will hold this over them for the next 20 years.

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Me to my sister: Lol you were a MISTAKE

MY sister: Girl fuck you

My mom: Well actually I had no idea I was pregnant with her till 3 months in

My sister: ..... Damn

Me: ..... Wait what-